APOCALYPTIC SKIES

The earth's light extinguished like a wick at Seven

To hollowed earth stars were hurled

His anger grew wings and he thrashed against Heaven

Causing darkness and chaos to swirl...

His Angel, in horror, neath the shower of stars

Watched his wings crash against Heaven's gates

Her love, her Phoenix caused tribulation...

War

Fighting God for his Angel's fate

For The two had Intertwined now..

In a way that no one knew

How his tears left such stains now..

Cold obsidian colored hues..

on her heart as he fell down, landing safely in her arms

Where she pet his curly head now and she quelled his false alarm

Lay with me here on this dark night..

Pray the stars all realign

Long as we two still are left now,

Neath Apocalyptic Skies...

Author's Note

I see that this piece can come off a bit too cryptic, so this week it shall undergo a bit of editing, also to deepen and darken out the imagery.. which I would love to be as rich and visually dark as possible, apocalypse is a dark subject, so to speak, at least visually it should be.... A little explanation of the premise:
the piece itself is about a female angel and her human love who becomes angry at God because of her distance, as she worries for the state of his soul, and thrashes against Heaven in his anger, causing a cataclysmic fall of stars and some apocalyptic things to stir.... The piece is inspired... I hope this lends clarity to a more mystical work... :)

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I kinda disagree that this needs to be edited or explained to such a degree in your author's notes. I believe your message is a universal one that can be read by many different people in very different ways. We all have our various apocalyptic experiences in life, so there's no need to define that or walk it back or anything. You've given the reader a relatable path to walk & it will look different for each of us who walk it. I love a poem that does that. Your sensations of doom & gloom are well done, not too gloomy, but just threatening enuf to show how life can be a little punishing at times!

[M. L. F.]

Thanks barleygirl.. ;) Much appreciated! And yes.. it can be. I think.you and I have a lot more in common than you know.. :)

[Bodine]

I agree with barleygirl that you don't have to edit it IN THE SLIGHTEST if you don't want to, nor do you need to listen to (or even receive) suggestions, advice or comments.
And/but!: I'll (maybe), not quite as much as she did, tell you not to edit it if you want to.It's your poem!
If you do revise it, though, I'm (or I would be) looking forward to reading your revised version!

[M. L. F.]

DAWWW.... Thanks ;) :) She / you are right.. I plan to leave it as is, until one day I decide it is not perfect anymore... ( which I am prone to do ) :~
Truly,
..Misty

[emipoemi]

......in truth, let me be the third to disuade you. You don't need to edit this at all (regardless even what your future self might say). The story is clear if you really think about it. That's what this poem does: makes you think, and that's what makes it so good! You really tell a good mystical tale about the battle between mortal and deity! Well done!

[M. L. F.]

Thank you.. :)

[jennifer little]

wonderful poem i loved it you did a wonder job keep up the wonderful work and keep writing .

[alanwgraham]

You have created a great vision of poetic turmoil here. There is lots of good imagery describing how the couple comfort each other. It is enigmatic with the feel of greek myth. I was slightly puzzled by your phrase wick at seven but then noticed the rhyme with heaven. You didn't follow the rhyming though though and I feel you should decide which way you are going to go. I also think your phrase pet his curly head could be improved.
Great work though.
Regards
Alan

[Eowyn Doyle]

Wow, this is absolutely amazing; one of the best poems I've ever read!

[Re-Pete]

deep, powerful, biblical, prophetic. like a revelation. the struggle between spirit and flesh, heaven and earth. this delves into a very human and complex idea. an epic battle. very deep and philosophical. awesome wording and imagery. outstanding. :)

[M. L. F.]

Thank you... I am glad the piece felt grand... That was my hope.. Thank you for your time in reading and reviewing my work..
..Misty

[zaisham9393]

I loved the way you captured the mystical feelings!
I really enjoyed reading this!
Than you for sharing :)!

[M. L. F.]

Thank you very much for the review... I am glad the mystical sense was evident in this piece for you.. Happy to hear you enjoyed the work. Thank you for your time and words...
..Misty

[zaisham9393]

Yeah, I had to research though lol !!

[M. L. F.]

Research is good for you... Keeps you sharp! ;) Thanks.. haha...

[zaisham9393]

Thank you for your support. I will forever be grateful...lol... ;)!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Okay, I can finally understand it now! And my my! The full blast of it hit me!

"Fighting God for his Angel's fate
For The two had Intertwined now..
In a way that no one knew
How his tears left such stains now.. "
Powerful lines! I think we find solace in thinking that we can change our fate, that we can do whatever crosses our mind even we do it too sometimes but there comes a time in life where we are left being challenged by the higher powers..
Superb! I must have been dozing when I last read it :p

[PhoenixDown]

This one leaves me with similar impressions your "Pandora" piece left, for me at least. I will use the word "striking," or "struck" -- if lightning were but brush strokes - your words & their deeply seeded levels of origin & substance would be the oil used & the oil left, upon this page ..your "canvas." You cast quite the powerful storm Misty L F. Like an oil painting, you can "stare" (read over & over) for quite some time in admiration. Your images & carefully chosen words sound natural. This piece sings, as much as it does weep, entwining much together, all which can each be deeply appreciated, by myself as long as the rest of your audience. Congratulations on a job well done.

You are angelic.

Phoenix

[Inject Positivity]

Very beautiful Misty, a biblical scene you have crafty presented. I liked the wave of passion in the two lovers. Your poem reminded of the great Greek drama 'Agamemnon' a bit. The love and passion both are lovely with a beautiful imagery of stars, earth, heaven. Thank you for the story in the writer's note too, helped me to understand the whole thing better...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[M. L. F.]

You are very welcome... and thank you for the detailed review of this piece. It is appreciated..read moreYou are very welcome... and thank you for the detailed review of this piece. It is appreciated..
..Misty

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"Lay with me here on this dark night..

Pray the stars all realign

Long as we two still are left now,

Neath Apocalyptic Skies..."
To be honest, these are the only lines which I understood and felt meaning in..that doesn't mean it's not good coz it is but it just flew over my head and that's a first that happened to me regarding your write-ups..
Sorry for the lame review,Misty 😛. I enjoyed it nevertheless ☺

[M. L. F.]

LOL.. No worries.. I added a small description / plot synopsis for you in the author's note under the song.. I hope it helps clarify. The piece needs a few edits to round it out.. but I think the note should help for now... :) Thanks for the lovely review... :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Hey that's so nice of you! It did clarify alot ☺
I'm gonna have to review this again 😂 then you could thank me again lol 😂😂😂

[M. L. F.]

LOLOL! Okay! No problem... :) You're funny..

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I know I am!
😉 😂

[M. L. F.]

Haha...lol!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

And you are quite fierce I think but in a sweet way 😉