"Let it go", he said "How will you see - that I am you- and you are me?" Our thoughts, our souls cohesive ease I am the water You're the tree I'll pour my soul into you now allow it, stripped- to trickle down Your honey drips upon my lips My veils of trust- - but sunken ships My Insides melt to liquid gold and trickle fire to southern folds You find me there - and break the holds The fears that shackled - shattered - sold upon your lips such honey words "If you're a bird - then I'm a bird You're viscous words slip into me like honey warm - I finally see... what you have known eternally.. That I am you - And you are me...
Wow, wow misty !
I really loved the whole way you wrote this piece. We all do crave for that kind of boundless and egoless love and connection in our lives especially from the opposite gender but very few have that kind of fate to understand and experience that..Those raw emotions are very nicely expressed here...truly a great piece..keep it up. :-) :-)
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Glad to hear the thoughts behind the piece came through for you clearly. Ideal indeed... Thank you .. read moreGlad to hear the thoughts behind the piece came through for you clearly. Ideal indeed... Thank you for the kind review..
..Misty
Misty,
Enjoyed the flow of your poem. Your words conjured images of balance and cohesion that naturally form a strong relationship. Well done.
Richie b.
Very, very well written. Some light amidst all that darkness! And not a knife in sight! ;)
This poem flows just like the honey you mention throughout. There is nothing greater than to finally be told by another, and especially one of the opposite sex, just how special you are to them and how much alike you both seem. Love and chemistry at its finest.
Great to see a different approach and theme in your works. I guess we just write with the emotion we are feeling strongest at the time. And this one leaves the reader in no doubt about your feelings.
Another beautiful piece. Every line makes me want to read the next one.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
So glad to hear the work is interesting for you. It is a compliment- indeed. Thank you for reading.. read moreSo glad to hear the work is interesting for you. It is a compliment- indeed. Thank you for reading my work.
....Misty
Great though of annihilation of two soul. Your poem reminds me the most famous Persian verse of Great Sufi (mystic), Amir Khusru of Delhi. I quotes these lines with my own English translation.
من تو شدم تو من شدی
من تن شدم تو جان شدی
تا کس نه گوید بعد ا™ین
من دیگرم تو دیگری
Translation
I am yours and you are mine
I am body and you are soul
So that one could not say
I am other and your are other
These poetic verses of the Great Sufi are always quoted the highest stage of love between God and Human being.
Your poem is so beautiful and i love it. Thanks for sharing for such great and sacred thought that you have worded in this short poem.
Best
Szhzia
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
I saved this review. It was such an honor to hear the comparison. It is ironic..because In the fir.. read moreI saved this review. It was such an honor to hear the comparison. It is ironic..because In the first draft of this piece .. the end was: "What you have known for all of time... That I am yours...And you are mine."
But I changed this because the person I write this for... and I.. Hold a special place for the phrase.. I am you and you are me.. And it was Vital to this piece..to him.. that I honor that..and to repeat the emotion stated at the start of the piece... Thank you so much for seeing the depths in this work. It feels incredible that my whirling, strong emotions were able to be heard clearly here.. thank you.
..Misty
7 Years Ago
Misty, I like thought on such kind of love and emotions. it was my pleasure to read and review your .. read moreMisty, I like thought on such kind of love and emotions. it was my pleasure to read and review your writings and you are welcome. Keep it up.
I love how powerful this piece is! You created a vivid image in my head of a lovely couple.
"If you're a bird -
then I'm a bird"
Ever since I saw The Notebook, and the guy said that, It's always been my favorite quote. I love that you put it in there. I've read this poem a couple of times now and It's truly an amazing poem!
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thank you..very much... I am glad to hear you were touched by this piece. A LOT of feeling went int.. read moreThank you..very much... I am glad to hear you were touched by this piece. A LOT of feeling went into it. So happy to hear the feelings bled through..
As I read this, I thought which lines I like the best.. But can't decide..'cause every line is so deeply touching and intense.. All in all a wonderful and breath-taking piece..loved reading this ☺
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you very much. I mean every word of these pieces too.. My work is always indicative of my rea.. read moreThank you very much. I mean every word of these pieces too.. My work is always indicative of my reality... Thank you so much for the lovely words.. :)
7 Years Ago
You are welcome! It's always a pleasure reading your works ☺
I have a special place in my heart for your writings Misty. Coz they deeply resonate with me. And I am surprised with the synchronicity of my thoughts and your writings. Thank you so very much for lightening my heart and soul with this amazing poem.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
YOU.... Queen, are always welcome! :) I am glad to here we have like ideas. That is always nice t.. read moreYOU.... Queen, are always welcome! :) I am glad to here we have like ideas. That is always nice to hear. I am also a fan of your work. Thank you for the lovely compliments and for following my endeavors in writing...
..Misty
7 Years Ago
wooh!! your fan comment is stimulating. Many Many thanks for invigorating me.
"True suspense, true... terror, doesn't jump in your face with a hockey mask. No, no...It starts very, very slowly, creeping up your spine and into the space where your hair trickles onto your neck.".. more..