THE STORM

Wave after wave

he's pulling me under
I wasn't expecting this storm
And though I adore
This is dragging me under
This scares me like never before

He swept inside, his heart open wide
Turning locks in a heart long sealed shut
The rush so strong, the waves so high, the water is making me drunk
I long to dance in the pouring rain, to trust my gut once more
The waves crash down, my walls all change, still
He scares me like never before

I'll build the walls just high enough
when the tide washes over the shore
to keep myself at bay, I think, so I
don't end up dead like before

And still I hope the waves don't stop,
as the storm rises from the sea's floor
Let the waters rise, let the waves collapse
I just couldn't want anything more..

Author's Note

Just some emotional regurgitation.... Gah... this song gives me chills. Corny right?

Reviews

[Lovecraft]

I sensed a slightly dark theme about love in your poem. I tend to hate poems concerning the concept of true love but this one was better than most love poems I've encountered. It vaguely sound Poe-like, which I like. Read some of your page and noticed you enjoy Poe's works. I have a collection of practically all of his poems and stories.

Also try to read some H.P. Lovecraft if you haven't. He's my all-time favorite writer.

Thumbs Up!

[M. L. F.]

Thank you very much... I do appreciate E.A. Poe. I have been told that my writing always has a dark thread... But I'm an INFJ. I see the undercurrents of things. I see the dark and the light weave around one another in every thing I see....every single day. I have experienced so so much of the dark, and so so much of the light, that I simply cannot ignore it's existence in my work.. But I am a firm believer that the light will always prevail. I guess the dark just interests me too. And without that darkness.... the light would not be as epic as it is, when it finally appears. Thank you for taking the time to read and review me. I will check out some of your work as well. I have a few friends who tell me I would like HP Lovecraft. I will check out some of his work.. Thank you for the tip. I try to read a lot in the suspense / horror / thriller genres... as it is what my larger pieces at work pertain to. I think reading a lot is very important if you expect to be a great writer. Hearing what great writing sounds like... flows like... is crucial for all of us to learn...
Thank you..
..Misty

[Lovecraft]

If you read Lovecraft, make sure to read his stories: The Colour Out of Space, The Call of Cthulhu, The Shadow over Innsmouth. Cosmic Horror at its finest.

[Takeshi Yamada]

Hi Misty! It's been a while, but I'm glad to have a chance to check back in here and see how your poetry is coming along.

Let me start by saying that this one has shown me a new side of your poetry. I'm more used to the take-off-the-gloves, no-holds-barred style that you've shown in your earlier poems. This poem has a softer and slightly trepid feeling which I liked.

I especially liked this:
"The waves crash down, my walls all change, still
He scares me like never before"

I also liked the turn at the beginning of the last paragraph. Well done. :)

I agree with Alan's comment that the use of the word 'moors' felt slightly forced. The poem is still fantastic, but I'm confident you could tweak that into something mind-blowing. In case this helps:

http://www.rhymezone.com/r/rhyme.cgi?Word=shore&typeofrhyme=perfect&org1=syl&org2=l&org3=y

Fantastic poem! Now I remember why I like to read your poetry too.

[M. L. F.]

Aww... :) Thanks Takeshi... seems this moors word needs a tweak but .. idk.. we will see. I'm always glad to have you stop by. :) Glad you like the new tones... ;)

..Misty

[M. L. F.]

Ok Takeshi, "Moors" is gone.... see what you think now k? thank you! :)

[Takeshi Yamada]

That's it! Nice tweak, Misty. ;)

[M. L. F.]

Thanks my friend! :) Great advice yo u gave on the piece, as always!

[Spud_Potato]

This was amazing! I really enjoyed it, I didn't see one thing wrong with what you wrote. I saw no flaws. You are an excellent writer!

[M. L. F.]

Thank you very much. I appreciate the review. I love writing... Glad to hear it resonated with you.
..Misty

[Jeff Jupiter]

I adore this and can really relate to these feelings. I think that you did a great job.

[M. L. F.]

Thanks Jeff... I am glad you were able to relate to the piece. The feelings conveying in visual images for the reader along with the emotions is vitally important to me. It's the point of it...
Thank you for reading my work..
..Misty

[Shawna]

I loved this and can relate completely to these feelings. Excellent job!

[M. L. F.]

Thank you Shawna... Most women who have had any love that is intense enough, can relate to it well, I hope. Thank you for reading my work..
..Misty

[Hannah]

I absolutely love this. I love that song, and it works so well with the poem. You described everything exactly as it really is, and your words really do feel like a storm.

[M. L. F.]

Incredibly...Mt. Insurmountable..honored by your review... I am so so happy when I HEAR someone HEAR'S the vibe so strongly... The point of why I write. To reach..to touch emotions...to move..be it in any way...

Honored...
..Misty

[alanwgraham]

I really enjoyed this. Your extended metaphor likening the storm and the beating waves to the ups and downs of love work very well and sometimes you just have to surrender!
One tiny thing I felt slightly jarred (for me) was the use of the word 'moors' - but it was great.
Regards,
Alan

[M. L. F.]

lol.. moors eh? :) I'm glad you liked the piece Alan. Thank you for the review and the read... :)

[Tony Jordan]

Is it love of danger that is the mutual attractor or love itself?
I am guilty of reading the previous interaction with Phoenix and I am minded that magnets repel as equally as the attract.
Powerful writing full of visual.
Well done here!

[PhoenixDown]

Depends on which way they are facing.... Not a bad point though.

Well done to yourself.

[M. L. F.]

What makes the two "dangerous"? Because the love / emotion is too strong and there is fear of allowing that level of emotion in? That, does not, an actual danger make... ;) Better to burn than to die...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i was on the speaker's end of this...i was a closed shell for many years...the offers were there, but i couldn't trust...i felt the storm but sought shelter into myself...and never really let the rain of love pelt me, or penetrate my thick skinned heart.

j.

[PhoenixDown]

Leaves me wondering if walls should be built higher or not? But then I suppose he would only cast larger waves. The two in this piece remind me of magnets.

Well done, Misty. You have bottled something beautiful.

Phoenix

[M. L. F.]

He should indeed, then cast his waves larger.. She'd want that....Ahh...to the man that fights for what he wants, what he needs... There is a real man.. They are surely magnets, aren't they? Powerful idea..we should do the piece on that very theme... The two magnets.

You helped me bottle something beautiful, Phoenix... Thank you.

Misty

[PhoenixDown]

Seems the theme has revealed itself then. I have no qualms about that.

You're very welcome Misty.

[M. L. F.]

To the magnets two.. it is, Phoenix.