WHILE YOU SLEEP

YOUR HOUSE OF CARDS IS TUMBLING DOWN AND YOU DON’T EVEN SEE

NO CLUE HOW SOON THE FLAMES OF HELL WILL RISE FOR HER IN ME

YOU LAY UNDER YOUR LIES FOR YEARS LIKE SNAKES LIE IN THE GRASS

TO PACIFY YOUR OWN SAD NEEDS YOU POURED YOUR WORLD IN GAS

AND NOW YOU GAZE AND WONDER HOW YOU GOT AWAY UNSCATHED

YET WHILE YOU SLEEP YOUR SINS WILL SEEP LIKE SAND INTO YOUR GRAVE

HER VENGEANCE SHALL CLOSE IN ON YOU LIKE VINES UPON YOUR TOMB

NO LONGER SHALL YOU TWIST AND LIE AND SHEATH YOUR NAME IN BLOOMS

THEN ALL WILL HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE IN SHADOWS NEATH THE TREE

YOUR HOUSE OF CARDS IS TUMBLING DOWN AND SOON YOU’RE GOING TO SEE

Author's Note

The joy of renewal and sweet justice... ;) This piece is meant to defend the innocent, think second stanza and "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"... and to shed light on people who commit horrors within their own four walls and think they will get away with it...

"What is done in the darkness will always come to light"

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"YET WHILE YOU SLEEP YOUR SINS WILL SEEP LIKE SAND INTO YOUR GRAVE"
How true! A really amazing write this is...
People think they are clever.. That they will get away with everything they do not realizing that when they get it, it hits hard..
I enjoyed reading this ☺

[M. L. F.]

Thank you for the nice review. Glad the piece resonated with you. 😉

[Dr. YumnaKay]

It did. And you are welcome ☺

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I like the title but I also think house of cards would have been a nice title as well.
I enjoyed the poem, about sweet bitter revenge. People act so innocent but there not, sometimes they think they can get away with things, but they don't. If the do for awhile karma eventually catches up to them, and bites them in the arm, and well karmas a b***h.
Great write :)

[M. L. F.]

I thought about using "House of Cards" as the title, but the poem is meant to convey something symbolic about the subject. That he "sleeps" (metaphorically speaking). He walks through his life thinking he has it all in the bag, but he doesn't actually see what is happening, or going to happen. And yes, karma is always waiting. I'm glad to hear you liked the piece. ;)
..Misty

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Yer i get that. Proberbly best you stuck with that title then.
Your very much welcome

[M. L. F.]

I like your title better, lol. I may switch it someday, Thanks! ;)

[Asante]

As mentioned below, I really love the overall themes in this one, Misty. This accurately portrays the feelings that come with being burned by someone, scorned, and having them get away unscathed. Karma always does come to collect in one way or another. Great writing, Misty. Keep at it with the pen!

[M. L. F.]

Yes, karma will catch you. I am glad you enjoyed the piece. I will surely keep the pen busy. Thanks Sante. :)

[Asante]

You're always welcome, Misty. :)

[Jacob Clifford]

Love the devilish/hellish themes. The way you wrote this poem feels like hellfire is closing in, fitting for the mention of the same thing in the poem. I very much like the analogy of the house of cards falling over. I'm not entirely sure what, but something about this poem made me think of "Rosemary's Baby" (which is a very good book if you haven't read it, by the way). A very good read.

There was just one typo I caught, and one very few would recognize anyway, if you care to change it: Third line, "You laid under your lies" should be "You lay under your lies". I know it sounds weird like that, but the past tense of lie (recline, sit back: "I lie in bed") is "lay" (now I lay me down to sleep). If someone "laid" something, he/she set or placed something down.

[M. L. F.]

Ahhh! Clifford... I had to google the correct use of the word lie last night before posting because I had the very SAME question! Thanks! Thank you also for the lovely review. I have never read "Rosemary's Baby", but I am a horror addict, (good horror), books and movies.. no "Chucky" and the likes. ;) But I own the movie, ( Mia Farrow ) with her short red hair, about a hundred times, so I take the comparison as quite a compliment. I will address the typo, and thanks again for the review.

..Misty

[M. L. F.]

Lol, Thanks Clifford! :)

[Jibey]

It read almost like a ritual curse.. and your imagination must have found some satisfaction in dreaming up such a cataloger of horrors... a kind of oracle of Dante's Inferno. Chilling - and effective.

[M. L. F.]

Ironic, I am polishing up a short story about the devil, at the moment. An homage to my favorite Stephen King story about Satan called, "The Man in the Black Suit". While writing this story, I have been listening to songs like "the devil's trill", for inspiration and songs with the violin, which "devil's trill", made infamous by creating the myth that the devil plays the violin. One of the songs is called gypsy airs, and listening to this song, I wrote this piece. I find gypsy culture fascinating, so I find your comment quite perceptive.. ;). Thank you for taking the time to read and review, and I'm glad you liked it Jibey..

.. Misty

[Robert Parlange]

Ouch! A pen dipped in poison, razor sharp, and going for the jugular.

[M. L. F.]

Ah, Maestro.. Yes, this piece seems quite slicing, but even the bible teaches there is "a time to hate" and tells us to rebuke evil. I am christian, so the theme seems harsh, but God himself seeks justice and vengeance on the unrepentant, and this person is certainly that. Pride goeth before the fall, even for a man with a house of cards.. ;). Thanks for stopping by my friend.

.. Misty