SWALLOW YOU WHOLE

To say that nothing is left for you,
is to utter quite nothing at all.
You rose above others -
with make believe powers,
and smirked -
as you watched each one fall..
Now the walls of your sins have all risen above you
Regret sings a deafening tune -
as the prison you really deserve most eludes you,
may fear be your permanent tomb..
Ask not who the bell of hypocrisy tolls for,
when each accusation is true..
Here's hoping the nightmares swallow you whole,
as they swallowed our innocence too..

Reviews

[Jacob Clifford]

Very strong wording in this piece. You have made great use of metaphors and personification to add depth to such a common topic. You've made these words your own and made them dark and, yes, "venomous". This poem drove my eyes to the end. It is intense, and it is huge. Very well done.

This poem strikes me as a cleansing piece, used to get something off of the writer's chest, while simultaneously creating a superior poem. We all need to do something of the sort every once in a while.

[M. L. F.]

Thank you Clifford. I am glad you appreciated the venom use here. It was very cleansing. I was a bit worried about posting it, as it is so "fierce" / damning in tone, but I am glad I let it go. Thanks for the read and the great review.
Misty

[keith]

the title speaks much
a raw message sent sans being rude
venom spewed is often venom earned
'the walls of your sins' is powerful and easily seen
a good adios this is ... well done

[Lovecraft]

I enjoyed this poem, a sort of vitriolic spite seems to exude from it. Fairly dark and semi-Gothic. It works well. This is the sort of poetry I hate to love. ;)

The second to last line is my favorite.

Try to keep the themes of this poem and attempt to expand on those selfsame themes in future work if you don't mind.

Good job, Misty!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

This is powerful! Gives off a sense of foreboding to the reader.. Somehow, this gave me chills... Interesting ☺

[...]

Intense all encompassing, overwhelming even... but there's healing here too. Starz

[Gee]

I hope getting this down on paper has helped to heal the wounds. Liked the rhyming scheme throughout, flowed nicely

[-]

This piece is full of raw emotion. From some of your previous work, it seems you been hurt. But, that might be the fuel to the fire with you write. Love the title it is so vengeful you hold noting back. You are truly making think about my past behavior and current and how it might affect the emotions of other. Keep writing with this rawness. Laters, N.

[M. L. F.]

Mmm... The rawness is indeed my rocket fuel. I have experienced things that would stun most. What better way to tie the wounds that bind than to write my way out of them. To share, to grow, to help... that is all I hope for. Writing and I are inseparable. I wouldn't have it any other way. I am glad the message is not wasted on you, and you are getting something from it that helps. Self reflection is crucial to all of our growth. Thank you for reading me...
..Misty

[PoeticSorcery]

venom is scary, spiderman needs to stop wearing that damn black outfit :D
wait, you mean you weren't talking about venom? you were writing a poem? my bad, I enjoyed reading.

[M. L. F.]

I think that's what they call it these days... Glad you enjoyed.
..Misty

[CD Campbell]

Nice little Six line poem. Better to be the snake and strike with your venom than be the perpetual victim, right? It's in the poets toolbox to lash out when necessary. I like the rhyme scheme and the half rhyme of tune and tomb. I know it was dark, but what a great use of words to drive home a point. CD