Walls (Fireworks)

She thinks of him every time she walks those familiar streets they used to walk together.

Everything was easy at the time. They were young, happy and ambitious about their futures. They like to think they were more mature than their friends, simply because they liked to talk about more complex and long-term things.

And then it blew up. Thinks had been cooking for a long time. And then everything blew into so many pieces it wasn't fixable anymore. There was shouting, slamming doors but not a single tear. They both knew it was coming but it was a lot to take in at the moment.

''But we can keep being friends! I've seen people do it.''

Now she almost burst into a hysterical cry but she somehow managed to keep it together. ''Oh really? You'd like to stay friends? Well guess what, it's not f*****g happening!'' And with that, she left. He stayed in his room for a while, not being able to move.

She was gone. Forever. And he fucked everything up. He should've thought about stuff he put her through earlier. And of course, they can't be friends. He wouldn't be able to forget all those perfect moment he's never going to be able to experience again.

Thinking about those moments still hurts, seeing him every day is even harder. They never look into each other's eyes, they don't even think about saying hello. He wonders what's going on in her head because she never looks at him, even if she accidentally catches him staring at her.

Politely staring, of course.

She likes to be alone now. The breakup changed her. She used to be a talkative, smiling and a cheerful girl everyone liked to hang out with. Now she has a small circle of friends she hangs out with from time to time, but they actually don’t know anything about her. They just don’t realise it because she became so good at faking happiness, nobody notices how broken she actually is. She doesn’t miss him, but she’s scared to open up to people, because she was hurt very badly all those years back.

Today is one of those days she likes to spend alone in the park. Perfect sunny weather that makes everyone happy is a perfect opportunity to get away from life that’s drifting by and she’s not even living it. Summer is still her favourite part of the year; nothing will ever be able to change that. The park was deserted as usually when she arrived. People don’t really understand the beauty of nature nowadays. She sat on a bench, took a book out of her bag and tried not to think about the amount of work she had to do for university. And then he came. He didn’t look at her. He just sat on the bench like she wasn’t there.

Well yeah, it was awkward, scary and heartbreaking.

‘’Why are you here?’’ She was the one to talk.

‘’I always come here.’’

‘’Then why haven’t I seen you yet? I’ve been coming here for years.’’

‘’You didn’t see me because I didn’t want to be seen. I see you every single time you come here but I never want to interrupt you. This is the only time I see you happy. If we run into each other somewhere else, you wear a smile that is nothing like you. You shouldn’t fake it, you know. And that’s why I always wait till you leave and then I enjoy my peaceful time here. This park is beautiful.’’

She didn’t know what to say.

She was looking across the road at a tall historical building. ‘’You never smile.’’

She still didn’t look at him and she figured he was looking somewhere else as well, because he shifted on the bench and remained silent.

‘’We fucked up all those years ago, you know.’’ Now she looked at him, and he was looking deeply into her eyes.

‘’We really did. I wish I could take so many things I did back.’’

‘’Well you can’t, and I can’t either. I just want to know why you never said hi in all those years.’’

‘’It was too hard; I kept looking back to those days. Everything still seems so perfect, I don’t want to ruin those memories with a fight.’’

‘’Me too. Me too.’’

They both got up and walked into different directions. This was the final goodbye they both waited for.

‘’Hey Laura...’’

She turned around. ‘’Yes?’’

‘’Maybe I’ll finally be able to break all those walls and mine fields I’ve built to protect myself.’’

She smiled and left.

 

Author's Note

ahhh let me know what you think, i'm not really sure about this one.
and once again, i'm not a native English speaker, so sorry for the mistakes!