Do You Believe In God?

A Chapter by

"Do you believe in God?"

My answer has always been no, and I have my reasons.

I always figured, "What kind of God would allow so much suffering and pain to be endured? Wouldn't God want his followers, those He created as a gift to the universe, be subjected to happiness instead of hatred?"

There are so many different beliefs about God and divine power, yet I'm clueless about them all. I don't understand why so many people put so much faith into something so abstract. "God is with you." How do you know?

All my years in this world and I've never had that 'voice' guiding me, all I've had is myself. People are constantly pushing God on me as if it's a concept I can easily grasp with no proof and somehow it will help me.

Why is a divine being the only way out of all my problems? I don't understand how putting my faith into something that doesn't even have a living existence could benefit me. I do not believe in a God. My faith is elsewhere, in the people I love and inside myself.

I do not believe that the higher power in this world is a faceless being whose son was born from a virgin. I do not believe that souls are sent to Hell to be punished for their wrong doings, while those whom ask for forgiveness are sent to a utopia Heaven. I will never ask for forgiveness, because my mistakes, my sins, are what made me into who I am today.

I couldn't possibly believe in a God whose followers say God loves all His children, yet degrades those whom fall in love with the same sex but doesn't punish those whom divorce each other quicker than left out milk spoils.

I will never put my faith into a concept that allows people to treat you as if you're dirt and they're higher than their God.

I'm not saying I'm better as a person, just that my understanding of God's followers is burnt out. No, not all of His followers are these judgmental sycophants that put you down for not having the same beliefs, but those are the only God-worshipers that push their religion unto me.

I've found my God, my higher power, in other places. My faith is put into my mother, whom raised me and loved me through thick and thin, my father, who kissed my forehead goodnight and wiped my tears after my first heartbreak. My older brother, who beat sense into the antagonist of my love stories, my younger brother, who comes to me for guidance. My family is my God, my faith, my belief in the unknown.

I find proof of a Divine everywhere I look, but to me that isn't God. To me, that divine power is love.

Every time a special person smiles, their cheeks crease to form little quotation marks implying that everything between those marks is someones favorite quote. To me, that is faith, love, showing clearly.

God is made into this idea that's vague and transparent, which, to me, is exactly like Love. Something you can't see, but people swear they can feel. Something that's said to be everlasting.

My God is love, and if you can't accept that and want to keep pushing your faith unto me, then you better go read your bible a few more times and tell me your faith is not really the Black plague invading my life, because that's what it seems like to me.

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