Dear God,
I messed up really badly today. I do not know what went wrong. it was like I was living in the moment. I thought I could control myself around them, but I guess I am unable to. You did not want me to have that ability. Cassandra hates me now and I do not blame her. I already opened up my arm and leg, but I guess I should have talked to you first Jesus. I do not know what I should do. I am broken. I am hurt. I am ready to snap. I am ready to end this life and come live with you for the rest of enternity.
At least you gave me the skill to fight. I decided to talk to you so I could ask for a couple of things. I did start going to church again, so I think now you might help me. I want her to be happy, but I want Brian to go away. I want her to smile all day. And finally, I want her to love me. i want her to love me. Jesus, I really want her to love me back. At least help me find someone else to love because right now I am lost. When I look at her, I see a future. When I look at others, I see a broken past. Jesus I don't think I can live without her.
I believe my purpose on the Earth is to be with Cassandra. I want to know why you do not think so. Why do you not think we should be together Jesus? Why not? I would make her happy. i would be a gentlemen. Why the hell can I not be with her? Am I being punished for my past. For the meth I've injected, the coke I've snorted, the booze I have consumed. Why do you want me to suffer. Jesus, please either have her love mme, or help me forget her.
Someone who is desperate of help,
Derek, A broken a*****e
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