~ Midnight Waltz

~ Another Dance by Midnight Moon...

~ Midnight Waltz

 

 

 

There were strange things going to happen

On the early eve of midnight moon,

Voices were heard, footsteps were felt

They lived, in this gorgeous ballroom.

 

His feet moved before hers, so she followed

Silver sound waves, they danced with grace

The dusty air, the marble floor

Hands together, their love--the space.

 

But then their faces slowly changed

Like life could be over, at any time

As darkness fell, between of them

Death called in, but it felt fine.

 

And so just with every midnight moon

They danced their waltz, until the day came in,

While music played from the gramophone

Their love was timeless, without skin.

 

 

 

~ Elisa Laura

Author's Note

Reviews

[Ashira Macy]

This one was absolutely fascinating to me. The visualization of the ballroom was immaculate. Grand with only the midnight moon shining in, illuminating the crystals on the chandelier and perfect resonance so that music fills the entire room equally, so they can dance throughout.
And then the couple themselves morphed in my mind at your words, first young and beautiful. As their faces changed I imagined them growing older and wrinkled, still dancing as though hypnotized by the music.
And finally without skin, ghosts, still dancing away every night at midnight to their waltz.

I don't know if that is how you envisioned it, but it was gorgeous. And the rhyme and flow was also flawless.

I can't thank you enough my dear, for this beautiful review, you felt the transience of life so well through my words, yes, this is how I envisioned it, felt it, as a day like today... beautiful words, many hugs! you make me smile! -xx-

[Ashira Macy]

You are very welcome, the story in this was such a gift!

:) I'm so happy to have you by my friend! ((HUGS)) thank you so much.

[Ashira Macy]

The feeling is mutual dear! Hugs back!

[bob, small b. aka invs]

haunting. literally. i loved the mood you set. and the photo was perfect for the words. one small criticism. the lines "as darkness fell, just between of them Death called in, but it felt fine" seem a little awkward. that was the only stumbling block in an otherwise gorgeous poem. nice work.

Thank you very much for your time, and review Bob, very appreciated.

[SquinklaPsyOps]

This is different from the other poems it has much structure to be completely objective, I am truly impressed how you were able to make that change.

Its perfect including the illustration and the sound, I am so proud to be your Raven Sis.

Thank you dear Anika, for catching a little Rhymed one of me, (there are many more) hidden in between the free flow poems... I'm glad dear Raven Sis, you enjoyed.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Such a haunting melody to this one, yet, it is as eloquent as the "time" you captured. What a lovely ballroom...can you imagine the evenings there, like Collingwood from the show, "Dark Shadows"!

Always a pleasure, my dear...xx

Dear, thank you so very much, yes, I see this mysterious castle in front of me thanks to you, wonderful you came up with that :) thank you, so pleased to see you by. xxxx

[Lydia Shutter]

Two spirits dancing to a melancholy romantic tune each night as the moon watches. No wonder the man on the moon smiles. He has their rhythmic swaying to enchant him. Indeed, everything can change in an instant. We must enjoy every second we are granted. Eli, your poem is charismatic. Your new photo is gorgeous. Have a fun weekend. Knuffels, Lydi**

Thank you my dear friend for the most wonderful comment. Exactly, we must, you always feel my writing... Dank je wel schattebout, ook voor het foto commentaar... veel liefs -x- :)

[Jip Martin]

This ended a bit creepy, as if two skeletons were gliding across the ballroom floor.
But, I'm probably not awake enough yet to judge this properly.
You left enough detail out to allow the reader to conjure their own image, always a good craft ploy.
I enjoyed it much.
Jip

Thank you Jip, for your thoughts, and time, very appreciated. :)

[Pryde Foltz]

And so just with every midnight moon
They danced their waltz, until the day came in,
While music played from the gramophone
Their love was timeless, without skin.

Very romantic and wonderfully written. The music accompaniment was perfect.

Thank you so much dear Pryde... for your wonderful words. :) smiling.

[Pryde Foltz]

Love the new pic, sis.

Awww, thank you so much... ((HUGS)) x

[Lyan]

I think I felt a shiver go down my spine O_O I can picture the scene very well. Good job!

Thank you so much Lyan, for your time and words :) so appreciated.

[joshua deathdealer]

rate rate rate rate lol.................

lol.... you make me laugh -x-

[joshua deathdealer]

But then their faces slowly changed
Like life could be over, by any time
As darkness fell, just between of them
Death called in, but it felt fine.

I felt the drop in tempo here. The acceptance and longing seems to overwhelmed this stanza. It amazes me how this happened. Like a breakdown in a beautiful song. A climax in a love story perhaps.. Among the dust and the gray they found what they where seeking in the end. The following of her feet also touched me. ^^ Deeply.

What a beautiful comment... you felt that right, it was like a climax... thank you xx

[Edward Lancheister]

Well penned. Delicate words blend with romance. True love life eternally without boundaries of time

Puisi yang indah Nona Elisa.

Thanks for share sister

Thank you so much bro! glad you enjoyed it! :)