I love the vastness of this poem. It uses references to such a wide expanse as a backdrop and it really is a benefit to what I am feeling that you are meaning. The contrast between vast and specific, centuries of time and things that happen in a moment...the wide expanse of the sea and the specificity of fingers tapping on a table, it all adds to the feeling of the depths of this emotion. You have made me realize something about writing; I need to take an idea from music and use it in my poetry. In musical recordings there is something they call the "Pad" in the background. It is not an instrument. Instead it is the collective "background noise" which the producer/sound engineer has built into a feeling. The Pad includes the echo of a wide opened room, or the immediacy of the feeling the singer is right there in bed with you. All these feelings are part of it. If you hear a seagull just for as second in a song, then you immediately think of that song as taking place at the beach. In the case of this poem, the clever "pad" you set down of vast time depth and wide ranges of distance really supported the themes well.
Posted 10 Years Ago
5 of 5 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Truly Ro, such a great review from you my friend, not only do you seem to understand my subconscious.. read moreTruly Ro, such a great review from you my friend, not only do you seem to understand my subconscious, but also, the facts of "lucidity". I think you exactly felt here too. (that's a great combination), and I am truly happy you did. Many thanks these are reviews, I hope for, and will dig your words truly! - Elisa
10 Years Ago
Many thanks for your excavations, and may you dig up great treasures, from one archaeologist to anot.. read moreMany thanks for your excavations, and may you dig up great treasures, from one archaeologist to another!
10 Years Ago
You're welcome, I've learnt much today from your point of view. And what a wonderful inspiring words.. read moreYou're welcome, I've learnt much today from your point of view. And what a wonderful inspiring words here... may you too!! ;)
10 Years Ago
Robby, I appreciate this review as well! That concept of the "pad" is something I haven't necessari.. read moreRobby, I appreciate this review as well! That concept of the "pad" is something I haven't necessarily applied to my poetry before, and yet it seems so important. I remember reading an interview with John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin, and he was talking about the song "Going to California," saying it "sounds like lawn sitting." I think that's part of what you're talking about; the "pad" built into the song gave it the overall feel of someone playing guitar and singing out on a grassy lawn.
10 Years Ago
Thank you for replying to this......
10 Years Ago
I totally agree about Led Zeppelin! This is just what I am talking about!!! It really is possible .. read moreI totally agree about Led Zeppelin! This is just what I am talking about!!! It really is possible to do this in poetry. It takes a clear idea of how to lend a feeling to something, but with the smallest of allusions!
10 Years Ago
You know, I may have done it in my poetry without realizing it - I didn't know there was an actual t.. read moreYou know, I may have done it in my poetry without realizing it - I didn't know there was an actual term for it. But I think that creating an "environment," if you will, is part of good storytelling. Perhaps in the next poem that I write/publish on here, I'll keep that in mind.
It is something I notice that good writers can do, but other writers really can't. It is the art of.. read moreIt is something I notice that good writers can do, but other writers really can't. It is the art of creating an environment, but then only barely alluding to it. A good writer can give you the barest details, but you still can fill in the rest for yourself. It is a unique ability and I don't know what the word is for it, but it is a way of showing without really even needing to give the details. You have to sense your audience so well that they don't even know what you are slipping into their minds.
10 Years Ago
We had studied something like that in a poetry workshop I took. We did a lesson called "overstateme.. read moreWe had studied something like that in a poetry workshop I took. We did a lesson called "overstatement/understatement," and I decided to go with understatement. I wrote a poem about rape, but never explicitly stated that it was about rape...I just described the feelings between the man and the woman. I think that's what you're talking about, if I'm not mistaken?!
10 Years Ago
That IS what I am talking about! Brilliant use of understatement!! It allows the audience to parti.. read moreThat IS what I am talking about! Brilliant use of understatement!! It allows the audience to participate when you leave things out but trust them to fill in the gap!
Innuendos and suggestions woven into a lamentation that becomes a fabric of beauty, a soul disrobing and exposing its wounds. I loved this. Excellent work!
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much my dear friend! :) I'm so glad you loved this. Elisa
A beautiful and true poem. Sweet faces and places appear in dreams and places left and seem so far away.
"Before the moon is full,
Do you want
To tell me something?"
I wonder do old voices are reminding us. We had loved once and can still? No weakness in the amazing poetry.
Coyote
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you so so much for feeling this one... my dear friend... you feel the piece so well. I wonder .. read moreThank you so so much for feeling this one... my dear friend... you feel the piece so well. I wonder this too. I can't thank you enough, tonight I try to review more! I have missed your work. Elisa :)
There is so much depth to this poem (and all your poems, really), that I usually feel a quick comment or short review won't do them justice.
But I read your comment below, saying that it "came back to me...as a whisper," and I think I partially understand. It seems as though you are communicating with someone you had known in a previous life, perhaps another soul. And in this dream, or vision, he or she was trying to speak to you.
And I get a sense of longing, wishing that you could be together again, but perhaps in this lifetime, it's not physically possible. So the only way that you two can still meet and speak with one another is in the "non-physical" plane, what we sometimes refer to as the dream world.
I've had so-called "dreams" like that, too, and they are the most mystical and meaningful. But I don't think our conscious minds can always figure them out.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much Eric, for this thoughtful review... I like it what you got out of it, and see in t.. read moreThank you so much Eric, for this thoughtful review... I like it what you got out of it, and see in this. It is a dream, often returning to me. I don't know if it's about a love... it could also be a family member. (I have that feeling stronger). Someone from my pacific roots in the lost seas... I appreciate this review... I truly do. You ponder very well with me.
10 Years Ago
Guess what? Your poem partly inspired me to write about one of my visions that I had, that has stuc.. read moreGuess what? Your poem partly inspired me to write about one of my visions that I had, that has stuck with me for years. I'll put it up soon!
The end of the poem is so meaningful...radiates dark feeling, pain, melancholy, but also strong connection with the soul. Soft whispers of another world, another time, when nothing is the same as the present moment. Past life, or just the past, without memory, empty, so this whispers are so clear ...Sounds full of loneliness, dear Eli.
:: nour ::
::03.014::
Posted 10 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
This was one of the many dreams I have... Sis, I'm so thankful for your words, and keen insight each.. read moreThis was one of the many dreams I have... Sis, I'm so thankful for your words, and keen insight each time... you have no idea how much your reviews mean to me. Thank you darling. -x-
10 Years Ago
I always love to read you poems :) they give me so much peace and pleasure...
Thank you so much my all, that means the world to me, especially to this poem, for it came back to m.. read moreThank you so much my all, that means the world to me, especially to this poem, for it came back to me tonight.... as a whisper.
10 Years Ago
I wish you feel good, dearest sis and pray for you!
10 Years Ago
I do for you too..... I know we have to catch up on many things, and I so look forward to our moment.. read moreI do for you too..... I know we have to catch up on many things, and I so look forward to our moment -x- :))
Like a mirror of the ocean...what an amazing and powerful metaphor, I love that :) Well I guess there isn't much I can add to all the reviews that have already been posted sis, I can only say that your words spoke volumes to me here...it conjures up so many emotions. A gorgeous piece you've penned here Eli...love and hugs :) xoxo
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Steve dear bro, I can't thank you enough. Sigh, you know why I am saying this, I'm far behind review.. read moreSteve dear bro, I can't thank you enough. Sigh, you know why I am saying this, I'm far behind reviewing on here, and I hope I have the energy soon ... your words always are the most sweet of all. (my row, is recently posted with oldies) glad you picked this pretty new one out... so so grateful to you, you will know in a bit... -x- love and hugs Steve. Hope all is well! :)
10 Years Ago
You know I'm always here for you sis, and thinking of you...I'm glad I can make you feel better, eve.. read moreYou know I'm always here for you sis, and thinking of you...I'm glad I can make you feel better, even just a bit, and of course, you don't have to rush to read my stuff, I want you to take as much time as you...love and hugs dear Eli :) xo
Yes, you do always! what would I do without you? *smiling* thank you for saying that, know I read yo.. read moreYes, you do always! what would I do without you? *smiling* thank you for saying that, know I read you... I do. :) always. And there isn't pretty much a writer more brilliant with BA then you are. xo :)
10 Years Ago
Thanks so much sis, you've brought a smile to my face with your words :) xox
10 Years Ago
I'm so glad I could do... bro! you are important, and precious to me. -xx-
The sounds of silence are far worse than enduring the spoken word of reality. You shall always move past these moments, if only they didn't take so long to reach your ears!
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
I love your interpretation of this poem, I wrote right after being out of my unconciousness. Thank y.. read moreI love your interpretation of this poem, I wrote right after being out of my unconciousness. Thank you so much Margaret. - Elisa -x-
First, I love that you add music in the background to your poems. It just brings everything full circle.
Secondly, your writing is just so refreshing and calming. I love reading it!
Another fantastic piece from you.
~Stefanie
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you dear one, for your lovely words, they are treasured by me! -x-
This is just breathtaking... and it somehow put me at ease while reading it thank you
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you Kelsey, so so much. This was a real dream of me. *I pen them often out* new-age writing lo.. read moreThank you Kelsey, so so much. This was a real dream of me. *I pen them often out* new-age writing lol....xx
10 Years Ago
You helped me and i know words cant help but it helped and its amazing thank you
I'm glad to hear it helepd you... omg so thankful about that... know I'm back soon.... xxxxxxxx till.. read moreI'm glad to hear it helepd you... omg so thankful about that... know I'm back soon.... xxxxxxxx till then.