~ The Crickets at Night

~ The Crickets at Night, E.L. Elisa Laura, the Middle Ages, Espana, FreeStyled Poetry

~ The Crickets at Night

 

Sitting there with you and invisible,

The wind on our skin,

 

The crickets sang their strategies;

The unnameable morse codes of the night

They touched in sang our hearing --

 

There at the Gállego river;

Our fire was burning,

This twilight danced, slightly,

And has obtained with the touch

Of the trees.

 

You asked me to dance,

But I refused,

Because you would make me visible, by touch

In this magical night --

 

I shrank back in my chair,

My heart in my throat,

The crickets sang brighter, louder

 

And there was silence ...

Where the fire extinguished,

And the night fell.

 

 

~ Elisa Laura

Author's Note

Enjoy X :)
Feel free ...

Reviews

[Christoph Poe]

For some reason, the mood of this particular song I've been listening to fits this poem:

http://youtu.be/eW0AuyCTBkU

(Not necessarily the lyrics of the song, but just the mood fits.) By the way, is there a song playing with this one? If so, it stinks that I can't hear it. Again, I'm using my phone and its not playing it.

I get this 'teeny' vibe from this piece. I live in Alabama, and this is a very typical setting here. Lol. There's always a camp fire somewhere--winter, spring, summer and fall.

I love vulnerability in a character. I get that from the protagonist in this poem, especially the part about dancing around the campfire. It makes things "real". A lot of writers miss that mark, sadly.

I found this enjoyable though, and I'll get to more when I can. In the meantime, if you have anything in particular you'd like me to look at, feel free to send me a link. (Which actually reminds me, I read that piece you sent me the other day, but didn't have the time to give a through review. I'll check it out again and give my thoughts.)

Take care,
--Christoph Poe

95/100

Hi my friend, thank you so much for your detailed review, yes, thank you so much for sending me a song, I am listening to it now, and it's beautiful... it could fit the mood perfectly, although it's way too modern for this poem, for it's written out of the time in the 1600's... hehe, and yes, there was a song with it, in Spanish in medieval mood and dance. I can see your imaginations, for I've seen lot's of movies, from your part of the world, and it could be indeed a teen vibe. Although not what was my intention with this write lol, but I do love your interpretation always. :D I think when you are sitting behind your laptop or PC, and listen to the music attatched, you get a whole new feeling. And that makes it so funny, and good, to share music, thoughts, and poetry. Do not ever rush dear friend, I rather have a good review like yours, than 10 not meant reviews, and rushy ones... :) I so appreciate your time. I don't do RR's for I believe in spontanous reading/reviewing, for then like you did tonight, it comes out of your heart, and it's well meant, but I will if you ask, now and then... (not a fan of sending homework to my readers lol).

Take care too Christoph, and thanks for being so kind, to give me a read, and your thoughts.

- Elisa

[Christoph Poe]

Oh, so I just realized that you're not from the United States. (Ill have to add that you're the first person I've ever talked to from the Netherlands.)

And though a piece of my review was to return the favor, it was still spontaneous. Haha. I'll send an RR occassionally, but I'm like you, I don't like giving my readers "homework". I'll review sometimes if asked, but more often times than none, I just can't get to it or its not something I've ever studied. (How can I give a good review on something I'm not interested in and know nothing about?)

I'll need to find a computer so I can listen to some of your music as I read. I'd like that part of the experience. I think music and poetry go very well with one another, and it should be done more here on WC.

(In reference to the modern song, I write most of my stories to modern music, so my apologies for the mis-comparison [is that even a word?] lol)

But honestly, for you, feel free to send me a private message if you want something specific for me to look at. :)

Hehe, yes, I'm Eurasian. No worries at all, it does makes me happy you didn't noticed, so it means, I'm quite better with my English lol.... just kidding. I error a lot, so if you see them, please say so. I'm the same, I only review, what truly is gripping and getting to me, ofcourse I do return the favor, but to who I review, and the reviews are profound and long, that says enough I think... You're right, I too do NOT KNOW everything, or studied everything, for I'm pretty shy, and humble, but I do love to study in silence, until it's my time. So maybe I can learn more about it. Hehe, you just relax, and be on your I-Phone as long as you need, for I'm on my HTC much often too, when I'm traveling, and can react always, or review... people see me online, and are wondering what I'm doing, or why I don't say anything, lol so nosy sometimes haha... but it's how it is, we don't have always time to review, and when we have, it better be a profound one. For this site has great writers, and reviewers, but not everyone is giving the same effort. ;-) fortunately I've met you. :) one who does. Don't worry about the song, it was perfect, just not for this write, you will understand in a while... :D I do love your honest and spontaneous soul, so do not ever apologize ok? :) lol I will think about sending some... (still not comfy to bother you)... ;-) take care my friend. - Eli

[KeeD]

The pictures you're able to plant in my head through your poems is out of this world.. I often get lost in the beauties and wonders nature has to offer.. something as trivial as crickets in the evening can mean so much to the mind that gets lost in the music.. you take me to a different place. The breeze wants me to sway like the leaves in the dark evening sky but I feel reluctant to obey as I just want to stay and soak in the warmth of the fire and the sound of music nature has to offer. Till the fire was no more.. and the night grew cold. Loved it Elisa, you're inspiring!!!!!!!! Favorited.

Thank you so much Kee, I knew you would feel this one! :) I'm ever thankful to you. I'm not from this time I think often lol... you're inspiring too, I'm working on a few new ones, which you did inspire me too. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this one. Will be back for more after a good sleep in your catalog, saved them already, (for I did once a Gaia too, with one of my best friends) will mail you that one, for it's unpublished here now). Take care and sleep well for later ;) Eli xo

[SquinklaPsyOps]

The poem is about

His presence was indifferent because he failed to value the music telling him what you were experiencing without you speaking a word.

When he asked you to dance you refused because your interested for passion was during the time of the concert when the fire was burning.

Thank You, your work is awesome.

Gracias a mi hermana, que tiene ojos y orejas afilados... jajajaja!!! :D

[Renée]

I adore crickets..but you know that...what an enchanting evening you painted..and the feeling of being invisible in the night..not wanting to be touch for fear of discovery ... lovely work ~

Thank you luv, for this lovely review... :) I appreciate you!

[Renée]

I appreciate you 2 Sweetie ( :

[Jack...]

Oh my, so very delicate and beautifully peaceful my sweet friend. You do know how to bring feelings to the page and smiles to our faces.

I thank you dear friend, I'm so happy to have you always by! It frustrates me I can't return the favor lol ;-) haha wishing you all my best, till hopefully soon! :)

[kublakhan27]

I was totally enthralled by the picture you've painted here...I adored the evocation of the crickets and their characteristics, I'd never thought of them in the images you've offered :) Wonderful piece my friend :)

Thank you my dear Canadian :) I'm pleased that I could bring you back to the medieval times for a while... :)

[kublakhan27]

Always a pleasure Eli, I thoroughly enjoyed the time there ;)

That makes me smile... :)

[kublakhan27]

And you know that makes me smile in turn :)

LOL, I know dear :) keep the head up...... and down LOL to your latest :P (I'm crazy)

[kublakhan27]

LOL Great minds think alike my dear, even when they're crazy ;P

HAHAHAHA right... I am glad the serious minds in here can laugh now and then, (but it must be typical humor no?) :P xx

[kublakhan27]

Haha between you and your sisters, nothing is typical in our discussions LOL xo

HAHAHHAHA you know us!!! you're one of the gang!!! :) xoxo LOL