~ The Crickets at Night

~ The Crickets at Night, E.L. Elisa Laura, the Middle Ages, Espana, FreeStyled Poetry

~ The Crickets at Night

 

Sitting there with you and invisible,

The wind on our skin,

 

The crickets sang their strategies;

The unnameable morse codes of the night

They touched in sang our hearing --

 

There at the Gállego river;

Our fire was burning,

This twilight danced, slightly,

And has obtained with the touch

Of the trees.

 

You asked me to dance,

But I refused,

Because you would make me visible, by touch

In this magical night --

 

I shrank back in my chair,

My heart in my throat,

The crickets sang brighter, louder

 

And there was silence ...

Where the fire extinguished,

And the night fell.

 

 

~ Elisa Laura

Author's Note

Enjoy X :)
Feel free ...

Reviews

[Christoph Poe]

For some reason, the mood of this particular song I've been listening to fits this poem:

http://youtu.be/eW0AuyCTBkU

(Not necessarily the lyrics of the song, but just the mood fits.) By the way, is there a song playing with this one? If so, it stinks that I can't hear it. Again, I'm using my phone and its not playing it.

I get this 'teeny' vibe from this piece. I live in Alabama, and this is a very typical setting here. Lol. There's always a camp fire somewhere--winter, spring, summer and fall.

I love vulnerability in a character. I get that from the protagonist in this poem, especially the part about dancing around the campfire. It makes things "real". A lot of writers miss that mark, sadly.

I found this enjoyable though, and I'll get to more when I can. In the meantime, if you have anything in particular you'd like me to look at, feel free to send me a link. (Which actually reminds me, I read that piece you sent me the other day, but didn't have the time to give a through review. I'll check it out again and give my thoughts.)

Take care,
--Christoph Poe

95/100

Hi my friend, thank you so much for your detailed review, yes, thank you so much for sending me a song, I am listening to it now, and it's beautiful... it could fit the mood perfectly, although it's way too modern for this poem, for it's written out of the time in the 1600's... hehe, and yes, there was a song with it, in Spanish in medieval mood and dance. I can see your imaginations, for I've seen lot's of movies, from your part of the world, and it could be indeed a teen vibe. Although not what was my intention with this write lol, but I do love your interpretation always. :D I think when you are sitting behind your laptop or PC, and listen to the music attatched, you get a whole new feeling. And that makes it so funny, and good, to share music, thoughts, and poetry. Do not ever rush dear friend, I rather have a good review like yours, than 10 not meant reviews, and rushy ones... :) I so appreciate your time. I don't do RR's for I believe in spontanous reading/reviewing, for then like you did tonight, it comes out of your heart, and it's well meant, but I will if you ask, now and then... (not a fan of sending homework to my readers lol).

Take care too Christoph, and thanks for being so kind, to give me a read, and your thoughts.

- Elisa

[Christoph Poe]

Oh, so I just realized that you're not from the United States. (Ill have to add that you're the first person I've ever talked to from the Netherlands.)

And though a piece of my review was to return the favor, it was still spontaneous. Haha. I'll send an RR occassionally, but I'm like you, I don't like giving my readers "homework". I'll review sometimes if asked, but more often times than none, I just can't get to it or its not something I've ever studied. (How can I give a good review on something I'm not interested in and know nothing about?)

I'll need to find a computer so I can listen to some of your music as I read. I'd like that part of the experience. I think music and poetry go very well with one another, and it should be done more here on WC.

(In reference to the modern song, I write most of my stories to modern music, so my apologies for the mis-comparison [is that even a word?] lol)

But honestly, for you, feel free to send me a private message if you want something specific for me to look at. :)

Hehe, yes, I'm Eurasian. No worries at all, it does makes me happy you didn't noticed, so it means, I'm quite better with my English lol.... just kidding. I error a lot, so if you see them, please say so. I'm the same, I only review, what truly is gripping and getting to me, ofcourse I do return the favor, but to who I review, and the reviews are profound and long, that says enough I think... You're right, I too do NOT KNOW everything, or studied everything, for I'm pretty shy, and humble, but I do love to study in silence, until it's my time. So maybe I can learn more about it. Hehe, you just relax, and be on your I-Phone as long as you need, for I'm on my HTC much often too, when I'm traveling, and can react always, or review... people see me online, and are wondering what I'm doing, or why I don't say anything, lol so nosy sometimes haha... but it's how it is, we don't have always time to review, and when we have, it better be a profound one. For this site has great writers, and reviewers, but not everyone is giving the same effort. ;-) fortunately I've met you. :) one who does. Don't worry about the song, it was perfect, just not for this write, you will understand in a while... :D I do love your honest and spontaneous soul, so do not ever apologize ok? :) lol I will think about sending some... (still not comfy to bother you)... ;-) take care my friend. - Eli

[Sugar Plum ♥]

I can say only - magnificent view and scene of something, which would be boring as game, but turned to fairy-tale and love piece in night, full of fire and dreams. So profound, with many touches of nature, so we just watch and remain silent..I love it, dear Eli!

{nour}
22-July-013

I"m so happy you love this one Sis. Thank you so much, :)

[emmajoy]

A chain of wonderfully musical pictures here.. almost wistful but happy.happy. Love crickets, they're the chirpiest of creatures. Thanks for sharing, Elisa.

Thanks so much, I listened last night till very late to them, they had much to say..... X

[Bare Trees]

I use to love the sound of crickets until they built houses around me. :( I can hear them in this poem now, as well as the crackling fire. To be visible is to allow vulnerabilities to come onto light. I enjoyed thi little piece of art.

Thank you so much my friend :)

[Bare Trees]

You're welcome Elisa.

[Chris]

Our existence is a series of freely made choices that afterwards may not have been as freely made as we thought.

Thank you Chris :)

[Friday]

Very fine piece. There's a lightness to the magic that's appealing. Some things can be superfluous at times. Sorry about my lousy Spanish.

Thank you so much Fre for your words...

[Aethereal]

This free verse of yours was able to express a very refined message. It inspired me to write this gift poem for you which you may keep as your own since I used most of your ideas and images to create it. It's in overlapping rhyme using /0/0/0/ seven syllable meter where by / is an accent and 0 is a non-accent. I only used two rhyme sounds throughout all four quatrains:


Fire and Song

Crickets sang their serenade
hidden in the murk of night
as we watched each dancing shade
that our bonfire would incite.

The impression that this made
filled me with superb delight,
but my lover dared to trade
a dance for this sweet insight.

Please don't touch me. Don't evade
gracefulness that's far from trite.
Don't let dancing masquerade
fascination at its height.

Freely given bliss was laid
void of convoluted might.
Tenderness may promenade
out of touch, and out of sight.

Thank you so much for this beautiful poem after my poem, love it!! What a nice review :)

[anxia]

Perfect scene set. Lovely imagery.

Thank you so much.

[PurpleQuartz]

As always you paint such beautiful imagery! Crickets can sound so lovely sometimes (except when you are trying to sleep and they are right next to your ear :D ).

''The unnameable morse codes of the night.''
Loved this line!

Thank you so much my sweet friend.... Xx

[Everett DeValle]

You're poem is simply beautiful...I love the imagery...although, I find cricket sounds can be annoying, if in trying to get Zen lol...yet the metaphors were splendid, Eli...it is like crickets are talking in morse code in the night. :)

Ev! bud, for you I always jump online lol.. thankies, yes, the sound is annoying, oh, you're the first who get numb of the sound into zen too :) Cali's feel the vibe always :P take care bud!

[Everett DeValle]

Awww, you didn't have to that...I just felt reading a nice poem that wasn't stressful, just beauty. And I got that from reading your poem. :)

Nice...then I wish you the warm Cali sun shining warmly for you...all you have to do is close your eyes, hear the ocean roar in rhythm, hear the flock of birds wings soar, and the sands of the beach between your toes...close your eyes, and it's yours. :)

Thank you dear friend, I will... :) in my last two ours I shall prepair my Heli and fly to Cali in mind travel :D be there, and feel the sand between my little feet :P I miss our Court. Hope she's there too to hang out... :) hugs, till soon!

[Everett DeValle]

Lol, there you go! You'll have fun. :)

I know, I miss Courtney too! She's playing hard to get...Courtney, I miss you, and I, I, la la Lava you. Please come back, and, um, Eli will give you a kiss! :)

So sweet!!!! yeps, COURT if you read this WE miss you! turn your cali a*s back on here LOL :D
We always had a planned heli flight, with some friends.... I know she's reading :P haha take care Ev, and C.S. be back soon! xo

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like the crickets and there morse code....cool...

i refused this dance because i would not have been your partner...you would have tried to control me...i would rather be alone and listen to the crickets song.

nice write...

You make me smile my dear friend, thank you so much for your review! :)