~ After the Electric Fire

~ The notes that are left, and repeated....

~ After the Electric Fire

 

The sultry night still

    Danced on the remaining waves,

Of its tangible thoughts;

 

Therefore, they looked at each other eye to eye,

     Magical electric notes

And fiery sparks, to explode

 

They flew over the countertop

      Where the uncountable time

 Disappeared in the non-sighted;

 

Love at first sight

     As large scale could not show

Them the essence

 

 Exposed sparkling eyes,

     Lips soft and sweet

This one strongest beat

 

Nothing was left, but the vodka,

     And a smoky room,

Her eyes, on her guitar

 

Tears stinking of sorrow,

    And texts about the past

For she repeated her song

 

 

~ Elisa Laura

Author's Note

Feel free...



Constructive Critisism, is always welcome!
Enjoy! x

Reviews

[RedInk524]

This reminds me of the time the power went out when i was playing my electric bass. i sat in the dark a moment, mumbled to myself "Guess I'm playing acoustic now" and went back to playing like nothing happened for another hour till the lights came back on. i kept playing the creepiest little melody over and over that i thought up. lol. I am never in a good mood when playing it or my keyboard, happiness leaves me too empty minded to function. Thus, i kinda connect with this.

Ha, you really get it dear... I did that lately too... :) so happy to see you back! let's share lot's of music! lol exactly exactly! :) ah, it's good you read this one! Sent me more of silent hill... in the mean time, I will make some creativity with it.

[RedInk524]

I look forward to it my friend. :)

Me too.... ;) turning now, yawn, see ya soon :) x

[Jack...]

Elisa, this was amazing. The words, the font, the photo, the feel, so sultry and ht. I could smell the smoke and feel the heat. the music played in wailing blues notes like sighs against the clouded sky. This was delicious and tempting and makes me want more. Very, very cool.

Thank you so much my sweet friend.. :) your words bring me always a smile :)

[Rafia ~ Yellow Girl]

It's Beautiful...!
It has strangely attractive charm in which a reader would be entangled for next many moments.. lost within the scene you painted so beautifully with your words..!

Thank you you so much Rafia :)

I mean thank you so much Rafia, was on my mobile ... :) I'll be back for you!

[Rafia ~ Yellow Girl]

You're welcome !

[Vile]

This is....sexy. Hahaha, I cant think of another word for it. Just the feel of it is very alluring and kind of seductive. I could of missed the mark completely, oh well, though I really enjoyed this piece. It just read very smoothly. Well done. :D

Vile, thank you so much for being around, :)

[Vile]

Just your friendly neighborhood Spider-man

Lol I like that thought, for I like super hero's haha

[Vile]

Super heros are better as ideas, but villians are better in story.

Hmmm you are diplomatic... :)

[Vile]

I prefer charming. :P

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Genius write love the musicality of the words play. I enjoy it thanks for sharing.

Thank you dear friend :)

[Sugar Plum ♥]

I love it all! The graphic of poem is so gentle, and arises special feeling of the moment of intimacy..The photo is unique with that hand and cigarette... It reminds me of some of my moments, the feeling is so sparkling with love and fire, even little restrained. There is so much warmth and calmness in the atmosphere, so the electric fire and mixing of the past and future is audible. There is so much inside!

-nour-
July-013

Thank you my dear Sis, you feel so much, and you make me always happy.... Thanks for this splendid review x

[Souladareatease]

Ahhhh such notes- they indeed sing so much depth-such Love- and again we hit repeat--such teasing fire burns bright when the waves of such song grip hold--indeed This is such a resonate Beauty!!!
Gorgeous Elis!!!

I'm pleased you liked this one ;) for it's needed to love music in good and bad musical notes, and chords... thank you dearly my friend.

[Souladareatease]

Ahhhh but of course- it is balance---where is a mirror without flaw?...I know not of one---this write is STRIKING-I Love it so!!!

Well said, dear friend, well said :D you make me smile! I like those who arend afraid to admit, :)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I just love the title, this is haunting yet seductive, I so appreciate all dedication to the subject here, really well done xx

Thank you very much dear Sheema xx have missed you!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Me too, I mean I have clearly missed you in the City of Love, so glad to see you again, much affection xx

Awww, you're too sweet! thanks a lot, it's likewise, I had a difficult year, and half... but I'm getting slowly stronger. I will be off / on like you, but when I'm here I try to be there as much as I can. You're a gem to me, and we are from the good old days haha!! xxx much affection too dear!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

And you are so special, one can only get stronger, take special care, dear Elisa Laura

With these words of you, it's easy, it's good to have good and real friends around! so do you ok? much love always Sheema :) xx

[Clockwork]

You've given us quite an electrified love song with this one. I like how you described the electricity of love at first sight in stanza three. Those words really embody that feeling and provide a nice visual to describe that internal feeling.

For me, those last two stanzas hint that she is reliving those moments again. She is trying to capture them as they were, with all the original notes that were played on the first night. I find it interesting how sometimes in our swansongs to those we love, there are those notes that go missing, and leave our hearts without music. A thought provoking poem for me at the stage I'm at in my journey.

I loved this review, thank you. Yes, you are right, for real love can only be celebrated and played when "together in tune" We are all artists, with sensitive hearts, we sing/play, write, paint even, and it are little life snapshots, of our feelings, those we express. It can be in tone, out of tone, it can be balanced un-balanced, but that makes us artists I think. For we share the love for creativity, and we aren't afraid to fail, or die, for we did already inside, (without that, there wouldn't be art)... :)

[Pax]

Oh… this reminds every reader of their past – the experienced of love at first sight… well there are many but there will always be a one moment that a person cannot forget, like a repeated song just the way you conveyed your thoughts in this big sis… there will always be a song that will remind us the first love we felt… great piece!

Ha! brother love your review is amazing! You and Brooke saw my musical heart in it!!!! so great :D tight hugs dear!

[Pax]

hugs back tighter.... your musical heart is felt big sis...

I'm glad you and me know eachother so well.... ♥