~ Deep Within Us

~ Deep Within Us, Elisa Laura, the Road, my style, thoughts.

~ Deep Within Us

 

 

There lays a landscape of truth,

Just within us;

I felt it within myself today,

 

The road felt more green,

And I didn’t need so much fuel,

 

       For the road was friendly,

    And the sky had some airbags,

Smiling down, like I really could make it.

    And that Italian melody in my head…

 

Also the trees, they looked curious

Over me down the road,

 

      The immense feeling of a

         Green explosion of their light

              In speed...

 

    Some powers returned

         For I can’t remember them,

I felt too void for a long time...

 

‘t was as if I could touch

A new generation, of you,

         One of silent pleasures…

 

But maybe it was just a dream,

          One of the many who dance

          In my endless thoughts;

 

          For my thoughts are an endless river,

      And my days, do refresh me,

        By being moved;

 

To finally

     Result me there, and

             Bring me to the sea of

     Our too close borders…

 

 

 

~ Elisa Laura

Author's Note

Always lovely to just share some emotions,
Not even needed to review.

Feel free,
Enjoy x

Reviews

[Traci]

You have once again painted a lovely picture in the readers mind, leaving me in awe of this soulful piece. This is truly exquisite poetry loaded with great imagery.

"‘t was as if I could touch

A new generation, of you,

One of silent pleasures…



But maybe it was just a dream,

One of the many who dance

In my endless thoughts;

Favorite lines...and another favorite of yours. Well done, Eli.

Thank you so much Traci ♥

[Traci]

Always my pleasure, E. Will be back soon to review more of your work :)

[Soul Fire]

Beautiful, stunningly beautiful. Amazing work!

Thank you my dearest Raya :) so good to see you!

[Soul Fire]

You're welcome Elisa Laura, good to see you too :D

Thankies, from my heart :) I will come soon by for more of your artworks!

[Soul Fire]

:) You're most welcome and aw, thank you!

[Rosalind Gale]

I love your words, the flow of your thoughts, love, feelings. You take me on a journey, always - one that I know we both understand and feel. You make me feel romantic. Thank you my dearest Elisa, for your kindness in words to me, and for your poems.
Much love -
Rosa
-x-

We do sweetheart, I feel you on distance, as you do me... :) thanks so much for this most lovely review ever. I'm humbled by your words, You're a gemstone, and I shall bring you my best light soon :) Love and hug! be good love, xx Eli missing you!

[Rosalind Gale]

-xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx-

[Rosalind Gale]

:)))

♥♥♥ One love...

[Cole Hayley]

Soo off beat that its extremely beautiful. The song fit well too, the ending is a killer and the format is well done. Great work!

Thanks so much my dear friend, good to see you, come back for you in a while (sleepy time) take care :)

[BL]

This is a brilliant parallel, comparison, metaphor, whatever and works so well, there are many places in my mind I have not visited and many I try to go back to but never quite make it. The image really sets it up well. 'For my thoughts are like an endless river' is a great line.

Thank you dearly Bluely, for I appreciate your thoughts. Nice you name parallel, when the ending of a galaxy (in general) or in (thoughts) is reached, we find ourselves there. Thank you for understanding my brain :)

[BL]

I am no mind reader (I am smiling) you explained it in your lines :-)

Mind reader or not dear friend, you are close hehe!!! :-)

[BL]

I am privileged to be a part of these thought processes....they are percolating through my brain like coffee

Aw, thank you so much.... I hope it won't give you heart problems then ;-) lol take care sweet friend :D

[BL]

No, lol again, loved my visits to your great city btw

Oh you've been in Arnhem City? that's great.. or do you mean our main capital Amsterdam?

[BL]

I've been to both and Rotterdam too

Now that's interesting... :D not many can say that.... great!!!

[The Verse: A Poetry Jou..]

I like your writing, that simple. Your metaphors are lucid and your pauses and perfect, you don't make metaphors your job. excellent read, hope to delve into your other work.

Thank you so much Dan, for your time, and review, :) I'm pleased that you enjoyed it, and I shall come back for your works either.

[The Verse: A Poetry Journal]

thank you, and absolutely my pleasure.

[Sugar Plum ♥]

I love the idea of that emotional deep landscape within us! It`s exactly like that, and the feeling of "walking and traveling inside you mind" is unique. I think anyone, who like to travel should feel that. because our physical eyes can`t see all, or our heart can`t feel all, but in this inner landscape, all views are free from uncleanness, what we see is ourselves. We are equal to our thoughts, and we are what we think -and then feel...It`s so much to say with so little words, very profound, dear sis!

-nour-
July-013

Ah, there is one person who understands it yay!!! so happy always with your reviews, there is nothing better than being recognized by an equal thinker. Thank you dear Sis, for your encouriging words, Big kiss!

[Allen Smuckler]

Elisa,
don't get me wrong...I'm a big fan of mixing and matching forms and styles...but here it just makes it a tad too difficult for my eyes..too much movement perhaps...I'm not sure
that being said,
I loved the write
I was moved by the pace and the scatterness of your thought(s)...perhaps explaining the form
your mind racing about...not being able to focus on one thing....yet everything "for my thoughts are an endless river." Boy have I been there.
Great use of imagery as well...even "feeling the green"....how do you feel green (unless you're Kermit) but it worked oh so well..
one minor critique...not crazy by the use of 'twas..doesn't seem to fit at all in this poem........for me
terrific write Elisa.....enjoyed reading it.
allen

Allen friend, good to see you back again! first of all, wow long time, and second, thank you for your most honest and heartfelt review on my piece. I truly appreciate it, and thanks for your visions into this. It was a write out of my heart, this time (not from my second world as you can read in my about me). More of the piece I won't explain in public, for it loses it's magic then, but if you are interested I can send you a mail, "why I felt so green" it's also re readeble, from out of my earlier pieces, where I didn't felt so green LOL the kermit part made me laugh, my dad would say the same! hi dad if you watch haha.... I thank you greatly for all, also for 't was, (I thought to Dutch) too spontaneous, we have for example: "Het Is" we also text message to eachother tis, or tis, it's no old English factor in my head this time, but a Dutch one. :) (funny-fact). Also for example the word "alas" in Dutch it is "helaas" I could use it in terms of modern thinking instead of old... funny-fact numer two, but here I must write in English so you are right about all you say there. Great to have your opinion, and hope all is well with you. Take care, Elisa.

[writing mojo]

this is a great scenery you create with the ease of perfect penmanship panoramic in your written attributes lost in a imagined world...great piece

Ah my dear, good to see you, I'm glad you felt the latitude of my writing... clever large eyes, they watch from left to right hehe... thanks a lot. Coming back for you!

[ChemicalMadness]

smiling down, like i really could make it.....
i believe you could make it anywhere, dear. This was lovely. Sweet lines, full of melody and quiet communion. very nice.

CM>

Thanks so much dear for your confidence in me.... means a lot :)

[ChemicalMadness]

confidence is everything.

It is dear it is... thank you.

[Pax]

wow ~ i love it big sis... it's like: my thoughts are my safe haven... they secure me on the harsh ways of life and the daily activities... i guess i could also say it's my safe refuge... i am move by the painting and words you conveyed here... deep within us it's a green paradise, were we can just lost ourselves on everything we just want.... it's really a beautiful piece.. hugs...

Oh I knew you would feel this one, brother love. Thank you so much for the most heartfelt review, I so apperciate you dear x

[Pax]

many hugs... your words are amazing... so your most welcome :)