~ The Reciprocal

~ The Reciprocal, E.L. Elisa Laura, Past Presence, Fiction, France, The Netherlands, History, Thriller, Ghosts

~ The Reciprocal

 

 

A breath faster than light...

Thoughts are not always there to follow

Each soul, so variously yet contemplating

 

The past is always with us,

Through thoughts, visions, and dreams

Nowhere aware, and letting in;

The nothingness of time,

 

A pleasure to see her Reciprocal;

Disguised can run as words,

Even on wet streets of our inside edges

Of the so pre-birthed soul

 

They are or have been, here for sure,

They cannot be denied;

No, not anymore, it's there, 

You see through the eyes

Of the viewer, the seer, 

And taste the iron of

Their ancient blood

 

A mystical evening light, 

As soft as fog,

Just reflected her legs, 

She was in her thirties,

And wore those typical twenties shoes,

Now on her walk to her forties,

She didn’t know she lost ten years…

 

The tram rails shone like her eyes,

As she looked through her vision,

Amsterdam, was a refuge, to her French heart,

Between soul and prosperity she lived…

 

Nowhere, alive in her Reciprocal,

Breathing and bathing the rain of time

As for times, in time disbelief grew,

Through the veins of the living

 

Over many years, hearts, and souls

This street didn’t change;

Only the traffic did, and killed her

A fragment faster-

 

 

~ Elisa Laura

Author's Note

Feel free... ;)
Thanks xx

Reviews

[RedInk524]

To me this seems like a story about a woman whose unpleasant memories biuld up so high they kill her. Although you can forget things, it is all on its own. You can't choose what to forget. And often, it is the things that we want to forget that stays with us the longest. Too much traffic on the streets of any mind is enough to kill it...

Thank you RedInk of truth :) that's what I call a good reviewer! x

[Robbie~xoxo~]

This is an eerily haunting depiction of a ghost tale... a mysterious journey to go on. Well written and powerful imagery which has laid a great foundation for a book, me thinks.... ;)

"A mystical evening light,

As soft as fog,

Just reflected her legs,

She was in her thirties,

And wore those typical twenties shoes,

Now on her walk to her forties,

She didn’t know she lost ten years…"~ OMG this feels familiar...This is me! lol

Love this!~xoxo~:)

Haha, Sis, thank you so much.... loved your humor out of my piece! :D thanks for your thoughts, support, and nice words... I will think about that ;) xoxo

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I know you have many projects going on... just another thought.
I have to many to mention! lol :D

The more the better Sis, for my brain needs many projects LOL... :D it's a very good thought of you... x

[David Scott]

Very strong! I'll have to give a "WOW!"
Eli, this poem made me sad. In a good way though. I felt the disassembling of this woman. I saw her age and grow while she was still fading.
You keep turning the coin over to flash the head and tails to the reader.
Very well done!
Two suggestions: 1. The third stanza needs some punctuation to help the reader know where to pause.
2. Last line of the fifth stanza "knew" should read *know*

Thank you so much dear David, for I so appreciate your imput. I will give it a fair look my friend, after my dinner. And ofcourse I will delve into your catalogue... beautiful words, appreciated my friend!

[roarke]

reciprocity is a devilish sword edge to walk. Time, in a reciprocal mode, ignored by the soul, still takes a toll on the mortal vessel. An interesting caprice.

Thank you dearly roarke, for your insightful words.

[Sugar Plum ♥]

I was completely captured by the image of the ghostly shadow woman...and felt her presence and atmosphere of the time.. amazing view! I love the way you "close" the moments and time in poems, as if in a box, with your own feelings and images. It sounds deep, and time is mystery as the humans life.
Nowhere, alive in her Reciprocal,
Breathing and bathing the rain of time

wonderful piece, photo and music!

-nour-
June-013

Thank you so much for this is one of my experimental new writes... so good to have your thoughts by, on any subject, for I think you're so wise. :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I think that the most important piece of this poem, for me at least, is the idea that "the past is always with us". What are we but remnants of the past? We can transform, change, grow, etc., but we are always tethered to what we were, because that is what makes us what we are. I liked this piece, Elisa; it was very deep and thought provoking. You've used a lot of language that causes the reader to pause and really think about the meaning behind the words. I enjoyed the read.

Thank you Sarah, for your rich review as always, I'm glad you enjoyed it my dear friend.

[Androglossia]

I think this is about the journey of the soul. Our body wanes but the soul does not so as the mind. Needless to say, in time, it is going to be mind over matter. We can always wear hot pink stilettos at old age and feel great about it:) It's simply the complementary relationship between ourselves and our other selves. Great work here, my sweet friend xoxo I'm very inclined to review today, lol.

I think you are right, here on certain points love... this was one from May. I so enjoy writing, darker lately for it's fun! I want to sit in every corner of my mind, making and creating :) so lovely you are here, and thank you for all you did so far! lol, you are fantastic M.

[Androglossia]

Yes I have been noticing your deviation to darker poetry lately which I think is good. It's always good for us writers to explore different things to know where we are really good at. I do it everytime:) You're very welcome sweets and you are as fantastic!

I know you do this too, for I love your variety! I think you're so rich in visualisation, and bring it over in ink, for I adore you. The different toppics, you choose are neat! and, I love the French woven through it ;) hehe... c'est tres bon mon cherie!

[Androglossia]

I'd definitely look awkward speaking French but still, I love Frech like how I love my fickle lover, lol. Speaking of fickle lover, I forgot to reply to your previous message about it. Sorry I certainly didn't mean to. I will PM you about it:)

[Androglossia]

I'd definitely look awkward speaking French but still, I love Frech like how I love my fickle lover, lol. Speaking of fickle lover, I forgot to reply to your previous message about it. Sorry I certainly didn't mean to. I will PM you about it:)

I knew you had a connection too to it... :) for I felt that through your writes, just lovely! No, worries at all, for time eats us in between, I'm the most patient on earth lol... Live and let live... :) A hug from over seas, and many main land :)

[Androglossia]

Thanks love and HuGSSS back at yah ♥

[Kristallo]

This is stunning. You have such a deep, introspective tone to your words. Each line here stops the rhythm of time and commands the viewer to deliberate further into the myriad of symbolism you have construed... You are a beautiful voice, Elisa.

Thank you beautiful Kris, I take your words as little treasures, deep in my heart, (coming from you) thank you humbly x

[Kristallo]

It was my pleasure, my dear. =D

So good to be back, and be in touch! with you! thanks for all, love the freedom we have! xx