~ To Be

~ To Be, E.L. Elisa Laura, Fictive, Surreal, One with Nature, Dreams, Heart, Short Poetry,

~ To Be

Once released the pains of heart

And gave me over, in the arms of sand

I did finally dream of beauty

On my so beloved and treasured land

 

I can sleepily dream the tides to come,

Washing all the sorrows away,

Drowning into the arms of you

To be, one... and forever stay

 

~ Elisa Laura

Author's Note

Thank you xx

Reviews

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Elisa

Having found you highlighted on the writer's lists on this site for more than one reason, I thought I would come have a look and find out why.

Now I have.

I looked first at your profile and found it warm, welcoming and art in itself. I found there an open and inquistive mind, a quailty that we all as writers should strive to achieve or if we have it already maintain. There is also a childlike quality to it. But then as they say, and in my experience, the art of writing is to recapture one's own childhood and look at the world with an innocent eye.

Then I found by opening the piece currently at the top of your portfolio, this, that you combine your words, not only with the visual (the photo) but also with the auditory (the music). I have always wished to join all the arts in one place. Perhaps that is territory we should all seek to inhabit. But if not all, I do.

Finally this piece (To be) as a sample of your writing. There is a lot to be said for brevity and simplicity. Less is more. Too much, we bore; too complex, we confuse.

This poem is soft and eloquent. But I would be a poor and unhelpful reviewer if I left it there.

Whilst poetry is of course a mood, a feeling and linguistic sense need not intrude, you lose me briefly in the first two lines: 'To be ... once released the pains of heart and gave me over' jars with the eloquence of what follows. It is a grammatical non sequitur.

Perhaps beauty never resides in logical perfection. Perhaps it needs to ignore logic, defy it and use its own grammar.

One of the best pieces of writing I ever reviewed was rejected by many but I revered. It was written in pidgin English. It was precsiely its imperfection which made it perfect. I happened to be writer of the month (it was a very brief one, cough!) on one writing site once and conferred the prize on her the next for that reason alone. She needed to be rewarded for her bravery.

I don't mean to wax lyrical except I do at times. But at others I can be humorous, at others sad and at yet others very blunt and screaming aggressively and in your face.

I'll end with this whether relevant or not. All beauty comes with a flaw. The flaw, like a beauty spot, enhances the rest.

I fear that lurking behind the novelist I strive to be - it is a common joke that applies to all of us - there is someone who has a lot to say. I have already written here a complex skein of useless words in relation to the simplicity of your eight lines.

But there is a philosopher hidng inside me which always needs a voice when I write or read the words of others. Writing is about life, yours, mine, theirs and telling us all about it.

Relevant or not, on the topic of perfection and perhaps we all as writers should take heart from these words, someone once told me this and they are wise words:

'Perhaps the only perfection we should strive for in life is in the acceptance of our own and others imperfections'.

I shall leave you to it Elisa.

I have learnt a thing or two from my brief trip into your world. I shall now retreat into my rather more complex and obscure. Just look at what I have written and you will see why.

With my warmest regards and a smile if only at myself

James

Thank you for these words, I am deeply impressed by your many opinions, and the explanation so well expressed there. I agree, with the fact also "To Be" always a little child into your deepest denial at times... I wonder of persons who are actually not? I think we all love our hidden one, to build on in life... (the big bad world) can be so cruel, and it is sometimes nice to be quirky, or just spontaneously, to be just that child you once was... Nothing in my world is required on being hasted, it comes when it comes. Make of yourself a compulsion object would make me so unnatural.

My weird sentence structure at times, has maybe to do with my Dutch brain, cadence to .. We often think in one language and speak it out as we think. Like also being a bit Phonetic people can act... Anyway, I find it very instructive to read your review, and I'm honestly grateful with reviewers like it should be more like this, I think I appreciate people who read to read what they read, and to give their own interpretation on, (There is nothing better see what it has brought you up). And within the spare time I shall return for you, and your writings. :)

Sincerely,

- Elisa

[vanila bean]

Please read my poem the voice the your poem was really good!:)

[Distant horizons]

Beautifully dreamed sweetie. To have that pull to a land forever in your heart, that you will always remain one and be a part of it, just as it is a part of you.

Thanks luv and, it's I guess, I'm just homesick, after all.... ;) I miss my Spain and Italy... my Asia...

[Distant horizons]

And they miss you too :-)

I hope.... I want to be one, with them when it's my time... x

[Distant horizons]

No matter where you are sweetie, part of you will always be there. I want my ashes scattered in those hills of the film a lonely place to die. you told me about. Right at the top so i can trickle all over the beautiful landscape.

That is most beautiful my friend... that movie really hit me. Those views, are the limit, to be spread out.... you will reincarnate as a young second new GreenMountain :)))

[Distant horizons]

:-)
or a pebble that gets kicked from hill to hill, sploshing in the river, then stuck in a climbers smelly boot :-)

Ha yer clever!!! :D

[Distant horizons]

:-)

But remember Mountains, are nothing without little pebbles.... :)

[Distant horizons]

True dear. Look at Loch Ness. Once upon a time that was a river on flat lowlands before seismic tremors enclosed it and pushed up all those hills to surround it, Now poor nessie is stuck there forever :-

So true... and what about once in prehistorical times, and before the Big Bang, Africa, was one body with South-America, you still see it in their shapes, and forms, on the globe, they had found particulair fishes, from one part of the world to the other, that couldn't be a coincidence... interesting... all is born out of vulcanic matter, and earthquakes, and tremors.... When I lived in Naples, I saw an old Ancient mirror, in the living room, remembering me of the Vesuvius, at 1944, the time that Pompei was petrified.... And when I opened the windows, from the living room, this Vulcano, was so magical... it had a true story....

[Distant horizons]

And in the news this week, they say they have found the missing continent, i think it is in the indian sea, that used to be a big part of that jigsaw too. We will always find more, that is just part of the adventure of life. :-)

I so love that.... let us be on adventure, in travels, and thoughts, and I hope you're right, would be fantastic! makes me want to read Jules Verne again... ♥

[Distant horizons]

Ha. Go on then, why not :-)

Yes! I will.... :) great new ideas....

[Distant horizons]

:-)

[An owl on the moon]

This is a dreamish lullaby... one that calls to the heart to find healing.. wholeness.. love. Just to be.. and in being to see all things beautiful.

I like the way you wave words like the sand can make it's own pattern too~ brilliantly said dear poet.

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

This sounded to me like Rumi!

*I did finally dream of beauty*?

*smiling* thanks Michael, for the thoughts! and dreams?

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

It's actually a poke re a typo.

You know I am a fan of Rumi's work..... right.... he's one of my favs, in all he did.... Well, pokes, and helping me on my grammar is always welcome... I'm the nude-error :)

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

Yes you are the late night writer!

Nah... ... that is assumption, the world is full of them, I could have written earlier, and nude is not per definition, late night... :)

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

Hmm but I have memories of insomnia and you in them, so some things never change. Unless you are saying that you write in the early mornings, then I would completely understand.

I can have my periodes ofcourse, when I am artistic at night, but it doesn't have to be always, I am writing in the night. It could be written also when I'm in the hospital at daytime... posted later when I find finally a moment of rest, and to be me...

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

Oh that makes sense, can you tell when you have written a good poem vs. just an ordinary poem? For I myself cannot...

Hmmm hard for me to, I write just as the days fill my mood dear... :) all is some pure me. :)

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

Aw I love your english slips of spelling, I never really noticed this before. But you are one long pure mood, that much we can agree on! And all this music, where on Earth do you find it?

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

*too

:) I'm a hidden musician, sssht.... ;) I have just some absolute ears, and ears of some real good musician friends, to fill me in. :D music, and poetry, and films are my basic 3 in life :D love is 4th lol, no just kidding ha.... ;) you know I'm a geek... :P

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

geeks are the best! Especially those culturally mixed ones. They have eyes like puppies and minds like felines.

Awww, lol thank you sweetest. Well, I must say my friend, I adore your poetry as one of the best ones on here. Deep profound, honest, heartfelt, provoking, and touching. And you know that, I need just that specific moment of rest, I can give me fully over to art.... my friends know what i mean.... when I'm on Nirvana, I review as Nirvana. :D you're great, don't let anybody tell you different, I believe in it and your art... ;) read you in between the lines tonight :) x be good till soon, when I'm on that mood.... my friend.

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

Oh don't worry, your friendship is enough for me.

And you can count on me my friend, as this is likewise, what you have done to me in the time I've been on here is good, and I appreciate your honest caracter and your soul. There is nothing more important to all of what we have been through, true friends always connect, and you dear are one of them... I carry you on my both hands. And will support all :) take care dear, and till we meet again :)