~ To Be

~ To Be, E.L. Elisa Laura, Fictive, Surreal, One with Nature, Dreams, Heart, Short Poetry,

~ To Be

Once released the pains of heart

And gave me over, in the arms of sand

I did finally dream of beauty

On my so beloved and treasured land

 

I can sleepily dream the tides to come,

Washing all the sorrows away,

Drowning into the arms of you

To be, one... and forever stay

 

~ Elisa Laura

Author's Note

Thank you xx

Reviews

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Elisa

Having found you highlighted on the writer's lists on this site for more than one reason, I thought I would come have a look and find out why.

Now I have.

I looked first at your profile and found it warm, welcoming and art in itself. I found there an open and inquistive mind, a quailty that we all as writers should strive to achieve or if we have it already maintain. There is also a childlike quality to it. But then as they say, and in my experience, the art of writing is to recapture one's own childhood and look at the world with an innocent eye.

Then I found by opening the piece currently at the top of your portfolio, this, that you combine your words, not only with the visual (the photo) but also with the auditory (the music). I have always wished to join all the arts in one place. Perhaps that is territory we should all seek to inhabit. But if not all, I do.

Finally this piece (To be) as a sample of your writing. There is a lot to be said for brevity and simplicity. Less is more. Too much, we bore; too complex, we confuse.

This poem is soft and eloquent. But I would be a poor and unhelpful reviewer if I left it there.

Whilst poetry is of course a mood, a feeling and linguistic sense need not intrude, you lose me briefly in the first two lines: 'To be ... once released the pains of heart and gave me over' jars with the eloquence of what follows. It is a grammatical non sequitur.

Perhaps beauty never resides in logical perfection. Perhaps it needs to ignore logic, defy it and use its own grammar.

One of the best pieces of writing I ever reviewed was rejected by many but I revered. It was written in pidgin English. It was precsiely its imperfection which made it perfect. I happened to be writer of the month (it was a very brief one, cough!) on one writing site once and conferred the prize on her the next for that reason alone. She needed to be rewarded for her bravery.

I don't mean to wax lyrical except I do at times. But at others I can be humorous, at others sad and at yet others very blunt and screaming aggressively and in your face.

I'll end with this whether relevant or not. All beauty comes with a flaw. The flaw, like a beauty spot, enhances the rest.

I fear that lurking behind the novelist I strive to be - it is a common joke that applies to all of us - there is someone who has a lot to say. I have already written here a complex skein of useless words in relation to the simplicity of your eight lines.

But there is a philosopher hidng inside me which always needs a voice when I write or read the words of others. Writing is about life, yours, mine, theirs and telling us all about it.

Relevant or not, on the topic of perfection and perhaps we all as writers should take heart from these words, someone once told me this and they are wise words:

'Perhaps the only perfection we should strive for in life is in the acceptance of our own and others imperfections'.

I shall leave you to it Elisa.

I have learnt a thing or two from my brief trip into your world. I shall now retreat into my rather more complex and obscure. Just look at what I have written and you will see why.

With my warmest regards and a smile if only at myself

James

Thank you for these words, I am deeply impressed by your many opinions, and the explanation so well expressed there. I agree, with the fact also "To Be" always a little child into your deepest denial at times... I wonder of persons who are actually not? I think we all love our hidden one, to build on in life... (the big bad world) can be so cruel, and it is sometimes nice to be quirky, or just spontaneously, to be just that child you once was... Nothing in my world is required on being hasted, it comes when it comes. Make of yourself a compulsion object would make me so unnatural.

My weird sentence structure at times, has maybe to do with my Dutch brain, cadence to .. We often think in one language and speak it out as we think. Like also being a bit Phonetic people can act... Anyway, I find it very instructive to read your review, and I'm honestly grateful with reviewers like it should be more like this, I think I appreciate people who read to read what they read, and to give their own interpretation on, (There is nothing better see what it has brought you up). And within the spare time I shall return for you, and your writings. :)

Sincerely,

- Elisa

[vanila bean]

Please read my poem the voice the your poem was really good!:)

[beautiful dreamer]

one i love the picture and two i love how free your poems are not one like the other! beautiful write elisa!

I take that as a huge compliment, thank you dearly :))

[beautiful dreamer]

you are so welcome!

Always pleased to have you by!

[Patrick]

So i read this, loved it for so many reasons...and then read the review below...
um..everything he said :)

Thank you dear P.J. :)

[the_stoic]

Coming back to the cafe and being greeted with such an intense yet soothing play of words is a joy in itself. The soundtrack was in perfect sync with the mood of the poetry and i can't help but rush to read your other works very soon !

Thank you so much friend, glad to see you back....

[Poetic Beauty]

The image of the sand embraces you and the ocean washing away the pain is stunning. This is done very creatively and is calming to the soul. The music is goes well with this piece.

Ah thank you dearly great poetess.... yes... I felt like a drowning mood, into my precious sea.... your words always bring me happiness, and after weekends I spend more time on reviewing my precious people on here... including you dear, thanks. - Eli

[Poetic Beauty]

I have been busy lately so I have been really bad at reading others work and reviewing. I am trying to spend more time doing the things I love like reading and writing again.

[RedInk524]

The arms of a lover really are quite like warm gentle waves at the beach, full of your will for them to carry you away. Beautiful thought. It is too bad that I see far too few that actually experience it instead of the mirage that overcomes the many that walk a dry, cracking desert that is their love life- Lacking life and abundant in deception and disappointment. As always, you never fail to deliver a sweet life-abundant piece.

Ah, I've missed your words my dear friend... :) you nailed it! ;)

Ich werde/ ich komme für Ihre Kunstwerke zurück ;)

[Liza]

sensual, intense and soothing - true to your form

Sister, oh I'm so grateful, for your words, thank you, good to see you back m'dear. xxx

[Liza]

a pleasure to read you; you are one of the most beautiful souls here

So are you!!! I've so missed reading you, while I was off and on, in a hard time... but I can't wait to read each detail of your beautiful soulful, and brilliant writes love xx

[Liza]

i understand and relate - hard times are when we build the most strength; sometimes we need to collect our energies back to come back. pleasure to still be connected at our sacred space xoxo

So true, dear friend, I treasure you as one of the few on here most in my heart. I miss the old times, but I know, with all the strength, we did earn, and the persons we became, we will have a bond, that is unbreakable. I'm so honored to have you by still, and I will read you, I never forget what your quill did for me, and how beautiful your hearts ink is. xoxo

[Liza]

thank you for your heartfelt words and connection. an honor.

Likewise lovely one! xx till soon!

[MAC]

thanks James, you ruined her for the rest of us :) i could never ever write anything close to that. but i will still humbly say that this is a lovely and very touching write. nice to read you again.

LOL, you're funny! I like that. Nice to see you back too Mark... I pray for time, to be more online! I can't wait to spend a 10 days of marraton reviewing ha! x

[MAC]

thank you :) i pray for more time to pray for more (nothing in particular, oh guess it could be more reviews but that would be shallow....wouldn't it??) 10 days, really? you must have a ton of great writers bookmarked :)

All the lovely reviews, the sweet people gave me on here.... and the less time I have... :( I feel like a rabbit falling in a huge black hole of nothing.... to do in return, but I will slowly, slowly.... and yes, I have my favs hehe... :D hope you have a fantastic week friend.

[sharonlee]

Soft and healing thoughts shared.
xx

Aw, thank you love... I've missed you! I will be back for your whispering and pleasurable artworks my dear xx

[Yasmin]

powerful words...
I have enjoyed reading this a lot and the theme of the ocean and sand is just so peaceful
I was sad that it ended so fast but it was amazing
Well done :)

Thank you from the bottom of my heart... Yasmin :)

[Yasmin]

you are more than welcomed
it was my pleasure to read

You're a pearl. :)

[Yasmin]

and you are a living treasure :)

*blush*