~ Hurt and Smiles

The way it is... I wrote this in my silent periode Maybe this one is hard to understand for you But it is typical Elisa Laura...

~ Hurt and Smiles

Long distances become nothing

Into my fuzzy mind when time is ticking,

Days bygone, flow as fast as pain impulses

Dying each minute to rebirth anew,

Another painful glimpse of my veins

In my bodie's crew...

Hurt is hidden in my life,

While there outside is a smile,

Forced seratonin jumps on my lips

To pop out, and smile, while I rather could

Cry a river and loved to die

What "ifs" are haunting through my head,

Longings of what I never had,

Feelings on wrong areas, and places...

Heart jumps, all over my spaces

But vast ideas of here and now

Love is a strange candy,

If you eat too much of it you'll get fat of magick

If you nail it on the head it dies

Out of denial, or by the strong ones lost above

True fights, in good and bad,

Just to fill in the truest love...

~ Elisa Laura

Author's Note

This is mind rambling...
I hope you get it, or not...
It's an Eli thing. And I'm just sharing it.

Hugs, and thank you xx

Reviews

[sithlordjp]

I’d like to tell you where this poem brought me. Might not have been your meaning at all, but this is how it went, as I dived into your words. I picture the character at the end of a long day, sitting quietly outside, looking at the night sky. In that moment, there is no one to lie to, no fake smile to put on. The mask slips off, and the true self comes back. Going through the motions all day long takes its toll. The character is tired. More hurt than smiling now. So many difficult, hard words floating in the mind: “pain”, “dying”, “painful”, “hurt”, “die” and “dies” again…

Out there, when no one can see, is there still room for smiles and joy? I was moved by these two lines of yours: “What “ifs” are haunting through my head, / Longings of what I never had,” The character knows all the better ways that could be, but is only able to daydream about them for an instant. As for soon the mask will have to be put back on, and carry that smile that will hide the hurt…

I spent a lot of time on the last stanza. It starts and ends with the same word: “love” I don’t think this is by accident… The character is holding on still, refusing to give up, trying to make the hope repeat itself, to come back once more. Out of “denial”? Perhaps, but there is so much more. The magic of the candy only works in small doses… to ask for more can only lead, to a fat lie?

I cannot stop reading this one… It is so sad, so beautiful. All is not lost in the fights, both good and bad indeed…

Well done Elisa…

Such a deep intense review my friend, I so appreciate it you really take the time, to read me, and my scribbles. YOU are pretty close on many things... :) what a keen insight here yet again. It is so important to be yourself, always, and to hold on strong to that. In rushing and chaotic times... you really did expressed that for me well here. I'm oh so ever grateful for this review. Thank you. - Elisa :)

[David Scott]

I know this woman... She is so lovely and always quick with a smile. Doing small deeds of kindness and never complaining. She knows how to love one way; with all her heart. That love is not fed or understood, but somehow she recovers from the constant hurt and fill herself back up.
... I know a woman like this is all I'm saying...
You penned your feelings well.

Wow, thank you so much David ;-)

[David Scott]

I'm pleased to wow such a marvel to the poetic arts.

:-)

[外人 (Gaiji..]

.... I missed u !! And this is a great poem, my dear ! I can relate a lot to it ! You wrote about feelings I do know too well, still, you did it so splendidely you caught my interest from the first verse to the last one !
Great job :)

I missed you too my friend, are you in Brazil or in Italy right now? :) I had a lovelybreak to clear my mind, and take some rest, I'm so pleased to hear you enjoyed the poem, and can relate to it, thank you buddy.

[外人 (Gaijin)]

thx :) ... Italy , glad 2 c u back :)

I'm glad too... :) nice to be back home hope you had a fantastic New Year :)

[外人 (Gaijin)]

safe for you :)

[CS]

"Love is a strange candy-if you eat too much of it you'll get fat of magick"...Now that is one great line! Actually, this makes perfect sense to me. Forcing out those seratonin smiles gives me a stomach ache. Since when did it become something wrong to have real feelings? Humans have feelings.
Great work, Eli :)

Yes, they have. I'm learning now, to be as me, in good and bad, and not as the Dutch society full of rules is forcing people to always smile, and shine, while they have a s****y day for example. Nothing is more beautiful than being human, and feel the real pain as hard as it can get.... thank you so much for your thoughts. With Love is a strange candy, I meant the elusiveness it can have, in chiaroscuro, (dark-light) aspects, no relationship can be utterly perfect. It has good moments, and bad moments. You can get baby's of candy's, but also get fat of too much love. Even as if you nail it on the head ( when you're too honest, man can get isolate) and so on and forth, I think too much always hehe.... hugs!

[Blue Ivory]

I can feel what you're saying here. I see a girl struggling to breathe trying to catch the days passing by...This isn't hard to understand at all! It's pretty easy to relate to. We know this feeling...The pressure of pain building inside, even though we're forcing ourselves to smile, is what pushes us to write. One does it to look normal to others. Most others don't understand. So poetic beauty, that pain, it has to be kept a secret. And when we're depressed, we start thinking about everything that is wrong with our lives, and how we could change it.

I absolutely love the last stanza! It's like you've compressed a million great ideas into one conclusion.

Thank you so much dear for feeling me, and your understanding, always xx

[Distant horizons]

This not only makes sense to me, but could be used as the instruction manual for my own fuzzy mind.
I especially like the line...Dying each minute to rebirth anew, it reminds me of my own difficulty in understanding how making sense of the day to fay, hour by hour, minute by minute, is the most complex part of my life, yet can see perfect meaning and connection for thoughts and feelings spun over years and long distances. Sometimes I think I was wired wrongly, seeing ease in complexity, yet feeling lost in simplicity.

Exactly Lorry, that is the point, we all struggle sometimes with time, and the moments to moments, You have worded this so beautifully, especially the ending, it is so so true, also for me. I need the same contradictions in life :) thank you for your thoughts my friend.

[Distant horizons]

:-)

[Horizon K.]

This was lovely and so sad. The birth and death of love, the misinterpretations that can ironically maintain it or lead it to break, the pain we bury to keep the love alive, we eat it like candy hoping its sweet... Thank you for sharing.

Thank you so muych dear Horizon K. I truly appreciate your review. It is beautiful how you have interpret my words, as it could be so much that way. Fortunately it isn't. As true love can let free, and let love around the globe for creation, growth, strenght, and experiences. Thank you so much.

[Horizon K.]

O.o... did I misinterpret? I'm very literal....Its lovely all the same:) I enjoyed the image of hitting it on the head like a nail, and many other moments..

You did, but same time you didn't as I'm a weird poet love, I write always to mislead everyone probably on here... (WHILE IT IS NOT MY INTENTION) dearly, I'm a weird mind myself. I live in parallel worlds, and mind labirynths, and love to puzzle and confuzzle (last word is a Dutch thingy) as I made it myself... I know you're very literal, as more brilliant poets on here are, and well, i'm just a weirdo, I admit, I'm hard to follow, hard to interpret, and hard to understand, that is me. I can't help it. (as I sometimes get myself better known by my friends comments lol) :D so thank you for your beautiful words, dearest! truly appreciated..... please do not ever feel scrary to review me, because I'm just a human being. Searching still for what is best.... :) always honest. Love and happy new year to you! xoxo

[Horizon K.]

:) haha.. mind labyrinth... I love that! I am writing now much in the theme of the heart's labyrinth. Maybe we shall connect inside these confuzzling places... And isn't it funny how the reviews from friends allow you to see your own writings & self more clearly? I love that about this place:) Happy New Year Elisa:)

Yes, what am I without my lovely alter egos on here? Nothing, well I'm just me, but this place when I came here more than a year and half a go, gave me space, and growth to be myself, to think about myself, to devolop me as myself, without you guys, it's an empty civil world.... here it's fictive and dreamy, I love to escape from the real world into here, for a second, and let myself totally go free..... happy new year dearest HK!! may all your wishes come through for 2013

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"in my body's crew"
and "if you eat too much of it"

just a couple typos, easily corrected.


this poem takes me on a journey...all the mistakes, all the what ifs in life, in romance...all the things i woulda coulda shoulda done...but here i am...the sum total of all the missing parts.
i am strange candy...

but you might find me chewable and sweet, not bitter...or sour

if you give me a chance...

magic can make the heart dance again.

jacob

My magick, spelled so def. wrong but rebelish for a change, as my friends spelled it also so rebellishly wrong, as this whole answer will be full of tipicly typos, but all straight out of my tiny Dutch heart, says; "I loved your review, thank you so much dearest poet, "I have a big hippy heart for all ones, who believe in love nd peace, as you know..." and I will give everyone a new/or just chance to be around me or to just enjoy poetry. For me it's a way of expressing myself, and I'm already so happy if someone answers, or read me, So thank you so much J. for your time, and not forgetting me, when I was on holliday. Be blessed my friend x
And thanks for helping me out with the grammar, As I love you for that!
You're one of the few, who really get me, and helps me!

E.L.

[Tree]

Love can be so hard to maintain, but the strong find a way. We are all such selfish creatures sometimes, but when love is near we are usually at our best. Thank you Eli for sharing this revealing piece, I like it when you write this way

Diego

Thanks bro, it's me, in my most honest ways. I have a beautiful love, and life, but 13 years, is a long time, it makes it hard, to survive sometimes, but we do. We have bad periodes, have had errors, we have had bad times, but "AMOR OMNIA VINCIT" always ;) you know, some believe, like me, others don't.... :) you do. I belief. Thanks for all. Always.

[Frieda P]

Love and longing is a hard pill to swallow or candy depending upon on so many factors. Mostly it's confusing and random ramblings of a silly notion. On occasion we get it right, if we're really, really lucky. Love this.

About time you got back in the game. ;-)

Thank you so much my friend, Do you speak out of self-experience? or gossip? LOL, but I can tell you dear, I am, and was always honest on here. For example, I told everyone I had a man for 12 years, now for 13, and for example I was here for my love and my ex. It's true. And if love is a chess game I'm in, but if it is a tag-team game, of more wrestlers, in martial art, lol, just explain what and why.... :D I'm curious. I don't know that game, I'm here for me, my own, my love, and myself. And for those who love to read me ofc..... So wich game, you mean love? bacioni a te cara mia, spero che hai avuto un bell anno nuovo, con i tuoi amici, abbracio ed un bacio da parte mia, Eli xxxx

[Frieda P]

From experience, mostly bad ones ha! I know no gossip of your's, is it juicy? lol...Hanno perso, non essere come un forestiero miei cari...

I'm so juicy, it seems lately, like a sappelagrino you know lol..... hahaha
no kidding, no gossip of you either, oh this place becomes good one day lol :D:D:D love to you dear, I know mine was out of experience too. We are on the same level.... hugs xo

[Frieda P]

Oh, what a grand club to belong to eh? LOL

Grand or not grand, it's about self - acceptance. I am happy all alone, actually too many friends scare the s**t out of me. I love to be rather with a few good ones, than with a facebook of fakes.... so that's why I quited fb for a long time ago lol..... fake area.

[Frieda P]

fake and no sign of intelligent life anywhere lol :-)

GBU Frieda, amore mio x