~ Fragments

~ Just dare to merge colors...

~ Fragments

 

 

 

I hear your  voice echo down the hills of my mind

Like the wind carried your sound to me in quadruplicate

The smell of fresh air and gentle natural wind

Make it so peaceful, so confidential with faith

I can almost smoke your breath within me

I can reach your core into my veins as you’re near

The way you run as a whirled ghost

Amazes me every new born day

Through my body, and bring me the lucky

Hormone in assimilation with my blood

You live right inside me, there’s no doubt

The unique kind of touch you give me

Even invisible, is a painting itself so rich

Oily musing moments, where we sat

Watched each other before going to bed

You spoiled my nose with your fingers all red

And we rolled and kissed naked on the spectrums of love

The canvas of dreams, full colored to leave our markings

Of our unique moment in time, when all was

Nude and painted our skins, in the moment

We danced in minds, made love in nights…

On that blank sheet full of lovely light

Where you kissed my soul, and blew me away

With the love you have in you,

To let me bloom and forever stay…

I shall never forget those memories

As all relives in the new painted ones

We shared and share as man and wife  “in-spe”

 

 

 

~ Elisa Laura

Author's Note

Thank you xx

Reviews

[~]

Dank je mijn alles mijn kleintje, mijn schat, voor je woorden, voor je visie voor je mooie gedichten aan mij, even snel lezen voor ik naar mijn werk ga, ik start de dag met zoveel warmte en je ziel kruist mijn gedachten, je bent geweldig, en ik hou van jou! Weet het, ook met je gezondheid we vechten altijd samen, je staat er niet alleen voor!

Kusjes je mannetje,
Mijn vrouw voor altijd,
Wees sterk, je kunt het.
Ik hou van jou. XX

Tears... I love you... so much! dank je wel mijn liefste ♥

[Augustus]

Hello Elisa!
Glad to visit your poetry after a long long time. (I doubt if you remember I ever reviewed your work). There is an innocuous beauty to this poem. The lines are fresh and innocent. Absolutely loved the opening line. And also the one that Emma has mentioned below. Lines like these make the difference between good poetry and great poetry. On the negative side, I think the poem stumbles a bit in lines 6-9, before recovering and maintaining the high standards set by the opening four lines.

The thing I noticed about this poem is that it is actually NOT continuous. It does not flow freely. It is FRAGMENTED. In most cases, I would have perceived this as a drawback of the verse, but here, I think it is a stroke of genius. The title could not have been more apt. The key point is that memories always come back to us like a slide show of snapshots. Not like a continuous coherent story. And you have captured it beautifully in the body of the poem. Wonderful job!

Augustus, yes, ofcourse I remember you... you always bring me one of the best reviews, how could I forget? ;) thank you so much for this one, I feel blessed by the help, and your words. I shall give it an overlook soon, when I have more spare time. Thanks again. - Elisa

[Augustus]

Thanks Elisa. Glad you remember! Pleasure to read your work. :)

Thank you again dear friend, I can't wait to delve into your library :)))

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful and amazing description. Always a pleasure to fall into your words. The good description allowed me to have good visions and allowed my mind to wander to better places. I like the closing line. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

Thank you so much my friend, always happy when you visit my world... :) I'll be soon back when I go review a whole day ;) hehe

[Jack...]

The way you run as a whirled ghost
Amazes me every new born day

And the way you bring us gifts of pleasure to read amazes me. Wonderful and lovng, such a nice piece to read.

Thank you dear Jack. There is more coming in this genre soon... I will keep in touch, and I am writing a lot in silence... :) take care friend

[David Scott]

Not so much fragments as pieces of a whole. I like the picture you build from this collage of your humanity. This picture of your love with your spouse.

Thank you again so much David, glad you enjoyed this one...

[Ed Fagan]

Very well written and well felt. "quadruplicate" nice!

Thank you Ed from the quarter :) nice to have a soul by who loves to reads first what touches him, and it might be an older one of my writes :) Thank you honestly. Eli Lau

*read

[Ed Fagan]

Ah, you're astute ... I respect this. Forced interest spoils the scent. :)

Happy you liked and enjoyed it, have a great time at wherever you live.

[Poetic Beauty]

You have painted a beautiful canvas of love and allowed all the senaes to be explored

Thank you very much PB have a nice day

[light and ashes]

Wow...this blew me away. Such a gorgeous and perfect piece, 100

Thank you so much dear one

[light and ashes]

Your very welcome :)

[Trixolomanea]

Wow your poetry is deep! I love the way your wording is so spot on and the way it just flows naturally :) well done, neighbor!

Thank you so much sweetie! x