Not Quite Paxil, But You Get Me Going.

A breakup with this guy inspired me to write this. DHgeoitwieipKWFEJEHejggr.

New lines of red are concealed by denim

Look how creative you made me since you gave

The ultimatum

Funny how as the look on your face fades away

My feelings for you seem to grow, not sway

I might as well be dead, to be quite frank

Everything brings you to mind and there's only you

To thank

Even though i kinda like how it hurts to imagine

'Cuz it reminds me im still alive enough to remember

The feeling of passion

How i feel anything at all remains a mystery to me

Without your voice in my ear at night, whispering

Sweet nothings that now echoe off the walls in my head

Keepin' me up at night in my once "seductive" bed

Now all it holds are the memories

Carved deep within my skin

The wall between want and need has become so razor thin

Slicing deep into my legs, holding me too far back

Amongst this catastrophy you can still hear it crack

Can i honestly say im not afraid to feel ?

Breaking open old wounds to remind me what is real

Youre really gone, arent you.. And i cry as i write

About how id give anything to take back that phone call

Last night

Cant say im choking on air

Cuz you're my oxygen, hunny

You cant choke on whats not there

Not the way it should be, but darlin' i swear

With you i was happiest, not thatcha care

I love you dear, say it back if you dare

No matter how

Exactly things from here go down

It will be nothing but

Unfair.

Reviews

[sivan]

had me from the line 'New lines of red are concealed by denim

Look how creative you made me since you gave

The ultimatum

'

[Bailey C. Writing]

This had a great rhythm behind it, I could almost imagine it in song form. Your imagery is strong, and there's a fiery passion behind this helping to release your feelings...you did a brilliant job, in my opinion, I really liked it

[patricia]

quite deep and very clever. I enjoyed this a lot. Thanks.

[Raven Starhawk]

The title gave me reason enough to click. ^^* This is good. It has volumes of points that I find intriguing.

[Marie Harrison]

Bravo! I don't know a good shot of Paxil
might be less costly to your self esteem.
Wonderful poem.

[tynamite]

The depth in this runs thick. Everything here is conveyed on so many levels. The voice that speaks through the poem is striking and on point. I can really tell this means alot.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

I might as well be dead, to be quite frank. How I feel anything at all remains a mystery to me. The wall between want and need has become so razor thin. How I'd give anything to take back that phone call. With you i was happiest, not that you care. Look how creative you made me since you gave the ultimatum. Love hurts and it makes us feel unbelievably good. Creativity flows from pain and pleasure.......What we want and need are not always the same and isn't it funny how we suddenly want what we can no longer have? An excellent piece.

[Jeremy Baker]

There is such depth to this poem, and so many ways to relate this to past experiences. The imagery you create here is so very vivid - the razor, the wounds breaking open - it's not possible to reamin aloof after reading this. An excellent job overall. Thank you for sharing!

[Tasha]

"The wall between want and need has become so razor thin
Slicing deep into my legs, holding me too far back
Amongst this catastrophy you can still hear it crack
Can i honestly say im not afraid to feel ?"

Wow, this was such a strong poem. There's nothing left to say but great job on an excellent poem.
♥ Ta'Shandra

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't remember the conversations of the goodbyes in my life. I was a brave man. Would drink a lot to forget. I like the honest and strong words. I know being a man. Better to run from a problem. A chicken will live another day. A hero will create a war he can't win.
"The wall between want and need has become so razor thin
Slicing deep into my legs, holding me too far back
Amongst this catastrophy you can still hear it crack
Can i honestly say im not afraid to feel ?"
A strong ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote