Windy Night

Windy Night

Inside……

 

People

Cocooned within fuzzy blankets

Chattering teeth,

eat the warmth off candles

Waxy perfect smiles

We’re okay.

 

Outside……..

 

Wind

Roars in rebels

B***h slapping water,

waves join the rampage

Leaving a signature stamp of destruction,

of the one and only Mother Nature

Foolish, humans.

Author's Note

I couldn't resist some free verse! I was inspired by some poetry I'd read so attempted a bit of abstract stuff. I would like some feedback of what you thought of this write!
Also many thanks to OT who gave me some help with this one!

Reviews

[Lucille Borns]

Hey Chels(ea):
This is my first time reading on of your poems. So far, I am greatly impressed. For someone of your age, you are amazingly talented. I am guessing that your best subject is English?! I know mine is. But one thing that I found was that I spent too much time working on my stories, and I got way behind in my other subjects.

As of your poem, excellent. I love the way you compared the inside view and the outside view of a wind storm. I know that in a storm, it always feels good to be inside. Your sentence structure was excellent and so was your description. Most people have a hard time with description, but girl, you have it nailed! Thanks for sharing it with us!

❤ Lucille

[Midday_Mystery]

This is a nice free verse you have a great flow their and my favorite line in here is, Leaving a signature stamp of destruction,
of the one and only Mother Nature
Foolish, humans.
It is amazing how we can think we dominate anything Then God in His infinite wisdom allows us to draw closer to Him... Great Write

[Yo Diggity]

How perfect it is that I'm reading this. Just the other day all the snow here had melted. Today I wake up and not only is my furnace on the fritz but we got another 6 inches. Anyway, I dug this true to life poem.

[Linear]

When blankets slide into vortex sleep, then the winds shall howl with grief!!

Well I quite liked it :O) keep it up

[Quinn Blackburn]

Love this bit "chattering teeth, eat the warmth off candles"! great image. The only suggestion I might make is the line "roars in rebels" feels clunky and off tune with this direct and potent piece. Perhaps "roars in rebellion"? You capture humanity hiding from a wrathful storm very well. Vivid, potent, and I love dual view, inside and out. Great work!

[Hope]

Nice!
Very sharp and clever.
"Foolish, humans.", that made me giggle.
Cx

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Interesting thoughts penned...I am glat that there is safety inside..Sunflower

[Lowesy]

i think your style is great, from the very short poems that you write to this where you actually stop the poem half way through to change surroundings. It's an abrupt way of doing so but it works well

[iamkim]

Wow! Now here are few lines from Chels! Lol. My first time to read a work of yours of something like this. Great!

...and yes it is so true! Good job!

[The Analog Kid]

Workd out just fine with the contrast of the outdoors vs. the indoors. You set it up well!

[GrandDystopia]

Ah, back to the old school i see! A lovely surreal write, you put across the imagery remarkably well, plus the final line "foolish humans" made me laugh and i have no idea why!
Awesome:)