Windy Night

Windy Night

Inside……

 

People

Cocooned within fuzzy blankets

Chattering teeth,

eat the warmth off candles

Waxy perfect smiles

We’re okay.

 

Outside……..

 

Wind

Roars in rebels

B***h slapping water,

waves join the rampage

Leaving a signature stamp of destruction,

of the one and only Mother Nature

Foolish, humans.

Author's Note

I couldn't resist some free verse! I was inspired by some poetry I'd read so attempted a bit of abstract stuff. I would like some feedback of what you thought of this write!
Also many thanks to OT who gave me some help with this one!

Reviews

[Lucille Borns]

Hey Chels(ea):
This is my first time reading on of your poems. So far, I am greatly impressed. For someone of your age, you are amazingly talented. I am guessing that your best subject is English?! I know mine is. But one thing that I found was that I spent too much time working on my stories, and I got way behind in my other subjects.

As of your poem, excellent. I love the way you compared the inside view and the outside view of a wind storm. I know that in a storm, it always feels good to be inside. Your sentence structure was excellent and so was your description. Most people have a hard time with description, but girl, you have it nailed! Thanks for sharing it with us!

❤ Lucille

[TheFemininePad]

Hi Chelsea,

Sorry it has been so long since I reviewed any of your poems. I have been really busy. This reminds me of the tent scene from Eclipse where Bella was freezing to death. I think you did a good job writing this poem. What I found kind of out of place was at the beginning it sounds peaceful, but the at the end becomes destructive. I didn't know if you were aiming for that effect.

[An owl on the moon]

You create that wildness in the atmosphere and capture the contrasts of the inner and outer world so well. Loved the imagery you provide!

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

This is fantastic! I can picture the wind laughing at the humans........

[Matthew Smith]

"Eat the warmth off candles/Waxy perfect smiles"

I particularly enjoyed those lines. Very original, I enjoyed this poem and the feel it implies. If you don't write free verse often, you should, this is some stuff.

[Robin]

"of the one and only Mother Nature" lest we forget , she will always have the upperhand .

great freeverse !

[SOUL LESS]

"Eat the warmth off candle" Very nice metaphor. Excellent. I should write it down. You do have creativity, not sufficiently supported by English though.
"Roars in rebellion" not rebels
"Waxy perfect" I'm not sure this fits coz waxy would signify fake, though let it stay. It goes with the candles.:)

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

nicely edged blade of a poetic~ foolish humans indeed~ we are all dying to our own applause~ excellent free verse streaming~

[Anonymous]

Abstract, indeed. If that's just what you were shooting for, you hit it spot on.
“...signature stamp of destruction;” for some reason, I got chills from that line. I could feel the fists of wind smacking my skin. Who would be on the inside? On the outside? God knows which would be fool enough (or bloody brave enough) to face it... Brilliant images, I may add.
If you're looking for criticism, I'm afraid I'm blank in that area for this piece. My apologies! Anyway, you certainly have free verse pinned down just where you want it. I admire you. Imaginitive and power-packed! Excellent work.

_Cloud