Inappropriate company

You were , as if  ,a feather trapped ,
amongst blades in a clump of grass .
Having tasted , the boundless freedom of flight ,
and used to seeing the world from a great height ,
too conscious you were , of the difference between us ,
and the passive embrace in which you were wrapped .

 

You longed thus , for freedom , shivering ,
at every touch of the winds that blew ,
but , through the grass their steady flow ,
caused all the blades to bow ,
that tightened the embrace anew
and prevent your delivering .

Author's Note

A draft .. will be modifying .. oh yes and please suggest some good names .. I am not happy with the current one :)

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good tale in this poem. After tasting freedom. Hard to forget. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Mauricio Montoya]

To me this reminds me of all the forces around us we can’t control only learn to adapt that’s what I get from this piece so for me the title fits. But on the other hand I know the feeling because I’ve been there before but only you know the answer, nevertheless I think you’ve done a fine job just the way it is.

[EMMIE]

good imagery interesting descriptions...honestly i think the name is unique

[freelancejouster]

i really like the way you've told this, sort of halting, sort of storylike. it's gorgeous.

[Greg G]

I really like the imagery and structure used in this poem.
Maybe "Tertial Sway" for the title, if you think that's an improvement over the one that you have now.

[Arabdha]

this one seems different..taking the desire to be set free and moulding it into something this beautiful..terrific job ! reminds me of the song 'Breakaway' by Kelly Clarkson..

[Lily Mae]

Oh I just love the use of the feather...you captured our human experience and placed into the realm of nature.. Your words are always like magic to me... I enjoy reading you very much..xxx

[Rossen]

Elements abound, you are in your element here, just thought it has a ring to it

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

I can see the passion you used to write this poem, crafting each line with dedication. Telling a tale of knowing someone needs to be set free. Like a caged bird longing to fly. Great poem.