Escape.

Escape.

A Story by
"

All of this time, Andrea plans her escape. With traps and guards galore, will she be able to make it out alive?

"

Andrea.

 

My heart hammered inside of my chest as my legs groaned in protest. I pressed on, even if I knew that there was possibly no hope for me. Swallowing, I decided to take a daring risk like no other. Decreasing my speed, I took a quick glance behind me. Silence. No one following me now. That's odd. I leaned against the nearest wall, desperate to grasp onto some fresh air. As my heart rate slowed, I restrained myself from fretting once more.

Drip, drip, drip. The slow drops of sewage was the only sound that could be heard and I knew that time was slowly running out. That - soon enough - I would be doomed for all eternity if I didn't get out now.

 

Suddenly, - as my ears were straining for a while - footsteps could be heard in the distance. As I tried to pick which direction they came from, the sound only seemed to increase that much more. My heart sank. My ears wouldn't stop ringing. It was obvious that it was almost over.

Coming at me now was a ray of light, signalling that I needed to make a move fast. Jumping out of my shocked mode, I swiveled away from the light, trying to keep my mind off of the growing sounds of my death inching closer. Estimating, then taking risks, I did all that I could to get out.

 

Only, I ended up at a dead end. No. It can't be! After all of that work, after all of that-- Another noise nearby whipped out at my thoughts, breaking them down into silence. Unable to form any audible words, I braced myself for the end. For death, even. For all of my hopes and dreams to be ruined.

I prepared to - mentally - bid my family farewell as the ray of sudden light was now staring me down. Feeling blind and embracing the shortness of life, I could only look away. A sharp pain was inserted directly into my side. And then, the world was swallowed up whole by a massive black hole.

 

~*~

 

When I awoke, I realized that I was bound. Hearing both taunting murmurs and whispers, I felt none other than hopeless. I looked around. White walls enveloped me into the situation that I was in. A white ceiling to match glared down at me.

Unsure and indecisive of what I should do next, a door clicked, along with my mind. A warming smile was all it took to regain the hope that lie within. When I realized that I wasn't alone in this unfamiliar room, I began to feel uncomfortably exposed. As the whispers casted down towards the "unnatural freak", my blood boiled with fury. How dare they!

 

The door closed after a few pokes were made in my direction, prodding me with needles like a lab rat. Before the usual dreariness and battle with my eyelids, I struggled to break free from what was chaining me down. Without any luck whatsoever, I inhaled deeply and took in the scene around me more closely.

There appeared to be sharp objects on the table left uncared for. As tempting as it was, there was still an issue dealing with me bound to the experimental table, unable to move even an inch. Suddenly, my eye caught the sharp end chipped off of the table. My hope rised yet again.

 

Though it was a slow process, I managed to position myself just the right way to catch the wrapping on the chipped edge, moving myself just enough to really dig the wrapping in it. Slowly but surely, I managed to cut off a few inches of what was bounding me and freed only my legs. I shifted them closer to the end table and kicked out, hurling a knife to the floor near where I was. The hope faltered a little.

 

With more slow and failed attempts, my waist was also free, but I couldn't reach my arms just yet. Being close to giving in, a noise in the distance was brought to my attention. A clock also ticked nearby as I held in my breath. With all of the strength left within me, I hurled myself off of the table painfully, making sure to also kick the knife closer.

Each second seemed to torment me as I struggled to get the knife in my grasp. Cautiously, I cut into the wrapping and avoided any skin contact. Throwing the knife aside, I freed myself wholly, more noises tipping off my patience. Without hesitance, I slipped the knife into my pocket after using the wrapping to dull the sharp end and crawled off into the next room.

 

The smell of blood, ashes, corpses and recent fire flew into my nose and filled my lungs. I surpressed the urge to cough and covered my mouth partly with my sleeve. Soot pressed onto my jeans, but I only continued to proceed further. Flashlights zoomed around the area, securing even the slickest captive in its' hold at any moment. My gaze flitted to one of the sleeping guards. He looked peaceful instead of cruel and cold-hearted.

 

No sympathy swelled up inside of me as I took his flashlight, walkie talkie and even his uniformed hat. Placing it on my head, I clicked on the flashlight, waving it around as if on patrol. Many voices erupted from the walkie talkie, but I remained silent. Keeping my head down as guards were walking around in the distance, I felt quite sly. Once, I had to hold my breath as another guard neared me.

 

He simpy tipped his hat in the dead of night and moved on. As I made my way to the front gates, I noticed that no lights were shining in my direction. No guards were even close. My heart soared in realization. Freedom! Suddenly, the sound of sirens echoed all around. I froze, now fully aware that I had dropped the flashlight with glee.

Hurriedly, I continued on with my escape; running off until the whole world was now behind me. Without the sounds of sirens blaring against my ears, I finally felt safe. As I laid down in the grass, I sighed in true relief. For once, I finally wasn't running away, fear becoming my best friend. For now, all dangers and troubles had vanished; I had finally escaped.

© 2011


Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems.
Criticism?
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Featured Review

I think that you show real promise. Although some of your phrasing could use some work, you tell a really good story. You grab the reader and keep their attention. Sometimes, it felt like you were searching for clever words to use, words that weren't natural to you and used to flower up the story without adding any real value. The best writing for me is writing that flows like we speak without the distraction of extra words. You also need to read every sentence and make sure that it makes sense on its own. Some examples:

The door closed after a few pokes were made in my direction, prodding me with needles like a lab rat... so which was it? Were you actually prodded or did it stop short of your flesh and was only in your direction?

Without any luck whatsoever, I inhaled deeply and took in the scene around me more closely... you had no luck inhaling deeply? Okay, I know the "without any luck" referred to the previous sentence, but that isn't what you've said.

...bound to the experimental table, unable to move even an inch. Yet, 2 sentences later, you are moving around on the table.

Being close to giving in, a noise in the distance was brought to my attention... how was it brought to your attention? Or did you just hear it?

Do you see what I mean? i hope this is the type of criticism that you were asking for. I think you show incredible promise and I'll look forward to continuing to read you!

(I need to ask you...why do you want people to ignore grammar problems? Grammar is an essential part of writing and each one pointed out would be a valuable lesson learned. Just sayin'.)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

You did really well on keeping the story's focus. It captivated me the way not many stories do!:)

Posted 13 Years Ago


I think that you show real promise. Although some of your phrasing could use some work, you tell a really good story. You grab the reader and keep their attention. Sometimes, it felt like you were searching for clever words to use, words that weren't natural to you and used to flower up the story without adding any real value. The best writing for me is writing that flows like we speak without the distraction of extra words. You also need to read every sentence and make sure that it makes sense on its own. Some examples:

The door closed after a few pokes were made in my direction, prodding me with needles like a lab rat... so which was it? Were you actually prodded or did it stop short of your flesh and was only in your direction?

Without any luck whatsoever, I inhaled deeply and took in the scene around me more closely... you had no luck inhaling deeply? Okay, I know the "without any luck" referred to the previous sentence, but that isn't what you've said.

...bound to the experimental table, unable to move even an inch. Yet, 2 sentences later, you are moving around on the table.

Being close to giving in, a noise in the distance was brought to my attention... how was it brought to your attention? Or did you just hear it?

Do you see what I mean? i hope this is the type of criticism that you were asking for. I think you show incredible promise and I'll look forward to continuing to read you!

(I need to ask you...why do you want people to ignore grammar problems? Grammar is an essential part of writing and each one pointed out would be a valuable lesson learned. Just sayin'.)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wow this is actually amazing, I kept wanting to read to the next paragraph.... really breathtaking :)
keep writing hun, you have talent for it :)

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on January 22, 2011
Last Updated on January 22, 2011

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