Heart of Glass. [Chapter Twelve.]

A knife cut through my windpipe, the edge diving farther and farther into my throat, making it nearly impossible to breathe. It cut all throughout me, a blazing pain following the very path. My struggles against this unknown captor were becoming more futile each second. I casted my gaze toward the sky, eyes searching the constellations for any source of help that they could possibly find.

Whenever I lost the strength, the person grew stronger, increasing the immense amount of doubt in my mind involving any form of escape. His grip on me tightened slightly, adding on to the anxiety and pain. It was then that I finally decided to give in, every ounce of me completely ablaze and weak. I couldn't keep holding on anymore, and, once I relaxed and saw the truth, some of the pain wore off.

I realized that I was no longer being held, and I turned to the very person that I had been looking for all day. A gasp escaped my lips as my heart ached, and my mind wandered away. Seeing him again brought hopeful tears to my eyes, and all desperation drifted off. Derek flashed me a smile, and helped me into his car. Shivering from both the cold and my damp coat, I buckled myself in with numb and nimble fingers, looking towards him expectantly.

"Take it off." He demanded, sighing, eyes capturing my own. The tone of his voice shocked me, but I handed over the coat as soon as I could get it off. Derek started the car and cranked up the heat, adjusting the vents and mirrors.

"Thanks for helping me," I croaked, my voice barely audible. He only nodded and focused on the road. I watched out the window as silence filled the empty space around us. Being reunited with him sent many mixed emotions to flee all around, nausea slowly creeping towards my direction. Regrets were obvious, mistakes came crawling back, words that may have needed to be said crumbling into the very air that we were inhaling.

My own sanity was thrown out the window, leaving behind chaos, misery, and even more confusion. Life itself just kept seeming to stuff into the drain slowly, stalling time for someone different, someone considerate enough to care, to lift its' meaning back up from the ground. As I wallowed in self pity, I also began to drown in a sea of hopelessness; an everlasting dark hole that became more difficult to escape each time the attempt was made.

It felt like somebody had turned off all hope, confidence, and even happiness that I had once been capable of feeling, and that used to sparkle right inside of me. Negativity was all I had left, and it really wasn't enough to make this cold heart of mine start to move.

"What's a girl like you doing walking the lonely streets late at night? Things must be going good with Damien, right?" Derek piped up suddenly, bringing up a name that brought fresh pain and tears back alive. His knuckles began to turn into a shade of white as he gripped the steering wheel harshly. I could hear both the sarcasm and the bitter acid dripping from  his tone, but it was the name that hurt the most.

"Not really," I confessed, sighing deeply in frustration as I tried to drop the pain.

Derek arched his eyebrow. "Oh? Well, I thought things would surely be fine, considering that he's the 'perfect' husband and all." Fury began to boil inside of me, my blood steaming along. I managed to swallow it back down, and ignore his hateful remarks.

"Turns out there isn't such a thing as a 'perfect' husband. Only in imaginations do they exist, anyway." I shrugged, struggling to keep my tone light and casual.

He snorted. "Even I could've told you that."

"Then why didn't you?" I shot, sending a glare in his direction. Derek seemed shocked at my sudden anger, but obviously couldn't find the right words to say.
"I didn't accept your offer to pick me up to be reminded of my past, Derek. In fact, it's the very last subject on the list that I'd ever want to talk about, especially right now.

"I'm sorry, Veronica. I didn't realize how sensitive of a subject this was to you," He apologized, face immediately softened. I could only sigh, letting my anger die down long enough to even begin to acknowledge his sincere apology. Silence occupied the air around us once again, but it was more comfortable than ever. It caressed every inch of my body, screaming all of my inaudible, immature thoughts at Derek as if he'd get the hint.

Even if he didn't know, I wasn't in the mood to tolerate any ignorance. We arrived at his house, and I felt like an outsider looking in. An absolute stranger filling a familiar body. My eyes drifted all around in uncertainty, and my feet were unable to move me in a single direction. Though I was found, I still felt confusion, and even misguided. I traveled around endlessly for these past few days, unsure of where I was really going.

All I was was another unrecognizable face amongst the diverse crowd. I was so lost in though that, when I began to visualize Dereks' mouth moving, the formed words escaped my hearing. This horrified me that much more. How much longer could I go until I was finally nothing but dirt, soon to be carried away in the harmless effect of the wind?

He began to lead me inside, and, - as much as I should've felt comfort and safe - I only felt that much more empty. I was getting too carried away by the nothingness inside of me that I couldn't even function regularly by myself anymore. In complete disbelief, I thought I heard voices behind me, and my heart began hammering in my chest rapidly.

They were all whispering, but each time I tried to block them out, it was though they were yelling right into my ears, making them ring unnecessarily. Each time I turned around, the voices disappeared. Even if I squinted, the darkness enveloped them all securely. Paranoia was the last thing that I needed in my life, even if my sanity had vanished from reality.

The sudden opening of doors sent the voices in a spell of dismay and uncomprehensible silence. My mind kept swaying back and forth from reality, and all things imaginary and unexplainable. The scenery before me, however, caught my attention, and held my mind still. Though it was like an every day cozy home, it all seemed so new and unreal to me.

Lights enhanced my vision immensely, increasing the brightness that already consumed my eyes from the start. My hands gracefully slid across some of the furniture setting in the room, my eyes darting from room to room in both adoration, and relief. It felt good to be at a home again, even if this wasn't my home. For too long, I felt as though I were a stranger in my own life. I didn't know how much more of it I could take.