Heart of Glass. [Chapter Ten.]

A Chapter by

"Please, Veronica, don't leave me." The pleading tone in his voice flooded me with memories, and brought tears back to my eyes. Without the ring on my finger, I felt more vulnerable; an easier target to take advantage of. I didn't know - for sure - if he was only stringing me along to snap my heart in half again, or if his love was as genuine as he made it seem to be. My heart simply ached when my eyes fixated on that lovely, broken face of his.

Still, I couldn't help but to wonder if this was all a part of his sick little game. There was no winning side as I continued to study his desperate face, for I was torn into multiple pieces, unable to be sure which part of me was trustworthy. As he looked more apologetic and guilty by the second, - my mind still indecisive - a compromise was slowly surfacing without hesitance.

"I'll stay," I nodded, hoping to sound more firm and confident than I felt. On the inside, every ounce of me was ripping apart with an incredulous amount of force. A small smile alit his face instantly as his arms wrapped around me in comfort. Though, somehow, it felt right, there was still deceivement tucked within. Both deception and dishonesty. I embraced him with my own arms in fear of him catching and questioning my resistance and misguided actions. Unnerving and disheveled thoughts and emotions ran throughout me, stirring up confusion and stress in the midst of it all.

Whenever his hand caressed my cheek, the slight touch bounded inside of me, making my very heart skip a few beats. No warmth swarmed through me, however, which increased my doubtful thoughts and suspicion by an immense amount. Before his lips found my own, I turned my head to the side absentmindedly, resulting in them pressing against my cheek instead. Though he seemed concerned and slightly frustrated with my involuntary action, he shrugged it off and grabbed his keys. My heart was an unending, broken motor.

"I'm leaving for work," he announced, that one door to freedom closing behind him. I tried my hardest to lighten up, but something felt wrong. Out of place, even. My feet carried both me, and my unstable heart into the bedroom, fingers gliding across figures, and objest, eyes resting on each picture along the way. It was then that I noticed what was wrong. Lying on the floor was a small, feminine shirt that even I couldn't dream of wearing.

Picking it up and fighting back tears, I read the name on the tag: Lucy. My heart sounded off immediately, echoing in my ears to make them ring. The last straw had finally been picked. I tossed the shirt aside, jaw clenched, fingers curled, and looked around the room in fury. Evidence of another girls' presence was written all over. A heart-breaking, gut-wrenching scream escaped my lips, as things were picked up, thrown, and even ripped. The monster that I had fought so hard to keep back, was now coming alive, bringing bitter and unnecessary actions to this world. The room itself seemed to revolve in any direction, throwing my sanity entirely off course. I slid down the wall, knees tucked to my chest, head propped against it.

Tears were sent rolling down my cheeks, my body trembling in complete disbelief. All of the pieces of my heart were no longer visible. It was as though someone had sliced through it, the blood trickling out long enough to just dissolve into the empty space around me. My heart felt slower than usual, pain becoming all I was capable of acquiring. With each breath that I took, was another ounce of pain flying straight into me. Knives were crushing my soul, while my skull was being bashed in, both incapable to find a ledge to truly be safe on.

Each step that I took was another mistake, for I went the wrong direction each time, and found myself surrounded in a pit full of dangerous needles. They stuck to me, inside and out, draining away the life that I had left. As the tears began to slow, and my body wasn't trembling as frequently, I searched - aimlessly - for something to hold on to. Finally, choking on my own tears, I was able to grab ahold of the bed and pull myself up. As I did, however, my knees wobbled, and my hands were shaking out of instinct. I collapsed on the bed, and cried until I was sure that no more tears would escape my eyes.

Grabbing a few tissues, I took care of my stuffy nose, and provided myself with an excuse to stand up again. After throwing each one of them away, I grabbed my phone and a suitcase. I filled it up with clothes and shut it tight, feeling more tears prick and poke my eyes. A letter fell from one of my drawers as a result to my hasty, infuriated movements. When I picked it up, it instantly sent both perfume and cologne clouding up my nostrils. Once I realized it was to me from the betrayer from our high school days, I packed it in the suitcase as well; a clear reminder of what true love really is.

Also, what used to be. Wiping my cheeks with my hand, I took the suitcase and made my way to the exit from this pit of betraying and deceiving hell. Just as soon as I opened the door, sunlight peeling in, my body stopped trembling. The tears were no longer flowing. All was at ease as the only sound to fill the silence was my now steady breathing. One specific name seemed to flash in my mind then: Derek.