Impulse

A heartbeat

 

beats 

 

a steady pulse.

 

When your sword gleams

with power    -your power-

over the powerless,

 

may you know

of a heart

 

that sounds of fear,

 

and brings back tragedies

that rumble within the shaken ground

on top of which

has walked every human 

and sane man,

insane man dropped from heights, unfathomable.

 

Shall I look desperately into

the depths of your hideous eyes

in search

of innocence, regret?

 

You are, as I am,

drowning in a sea of

undetermined profoundness.

 

I hear

the impulse

 

of a heartbeat

 

pulse within me,

 

within you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[micayla3]

Great job. I really enjoyed this piece!

[Ari and Sylph]

good job with the imagery and the flowing rhythm of the song.

[manifesto]

...WOW!!! Just WOW!!! (A billion times over and over! WOW! WOW! WOW!) I love the formatting, the broken phrases, and the poem itself is just WOW! I can't really say anymore because it is so WOW!!! Keep it up Saimu!

[RTB]

awe that was intense i like it :)

[Mizuki Tsukiakari]

The title is interesting. It goes well with the poem. This has an interesting atmosphere to it. Good work!

[Geralyn Miller]

Complex, powerful, intrepid, hesitant ,hopeful; makes me think. Provoking thought and/or discussion is what an artist does; Milady, you are an artist.
Note: It is spelled "innocence"

[Vicky Zhuang Yi-Yin]

I liked this part a lot:
When your sword gleams

with power -your power-

over the powerless,



may you know

of a heart



that sounds of fear,

[kuru]

a steady pulse disturbed by fear...creating an impulsive reaction...I like the emotion you're trying to convey to me it feels like you're trying to get over betrayal, trying to mend a broken heart...i liked everything about this...the mixed emotions..truly impulsive

[Aven]

this poem has a steady pulse.. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is amazing. I had to read a few times.
"You are, as I am,
drowning in a sea of
undetermined profoundness."
The complete poem words told a story and left with something to think about. That should be the writer goal. A excellent poem.
Coyote