What Is Left of Her

What the world might go through when it ends.

 It's cold. It's scary. It's dark and lonely. Her face lies in the cold white grains of sand. Her body limp, crimson gashes along her arms, her midnight silk dress is torn. Her gray eyes are dead. Almost dead. Every few moments, they turn a warm emerald. If I look close enough, I can see a part of the sea in them. Her eyes close and she calms down. Below the silvery moonlight, beside the dark ocean, she is taken back to those treasured moments she'll never forget.

 

 She's running on the green hilled land, under fluffy clouds and blue skies. The warmth of the sun is on her arms and face. The strawberry pink gown flows behind her in gentle wisps carried by the morning breeze. Her feet are bare and wet from the dew which settled on the grass that morning at dusk.

 

 Her face gets paler. She jerks her eyes open and gasps for another breath of salty sea air. Again she is dragged back to her memories.

 

 There is a single tree. It holds the whole world in it's lush leaves. Gold sparkles surround the tree hovering in the wet air. She dances to the trunk and touches the rough bark, looking into the foliage. Her laugh is carried with the wind. The sound of rushing water is heard. No person is in sight for miles. She smiles a smile that reminds me of the stars. Her feet skip away twirling in the rays of sunshine.

 

 Up in the sky is a lonesome dark cloud. It breaks into tears and bursts over the setting. The sky and sun dissappear. The world is flooded with darkness.

 

 She lies there. Still. Is she comforting the world? If so, she is miserably failing. Only several painful breaths are left, for the ignorant world to save.

Author's Note

This is actually going to be for a contest. The theme is suppose to be based on a world issue and we have to take it into a creative aspect. The theme here is basically our lack of care for the environment. Defenetly criticize please! I need to make this better!

Reviews

[manifesto]

The writing is so beautiful, and I can feel the sadness and fading hope in the words. Another masterpiece!

[Nova]

This was beautiful. Powerful imagery. I enjoyed reading it.

[Ari and Sylph]

very good

[Geralyn Miller]

The flow, structure and imagery are fantastic. Perhaps abit more clarity that you are speaking of the Lady Earth?

[YouoweYoupay]

Very strong, deep emotions in this short. I liked your metaphors and images. Good write.

[Cassiopia Summers]

I think it's great. You've got varying sentence lengths, a wide variety of sentence structures. You have simple yet un-overused words. You also create brilliant imagery. I think you've got a great start here. (: It also has great flow.

[KL]

A flowing narrative driven by poetic imagery. Very nice.

[YYPSNicoletse]

A good story!Saima S

[Coyote Poetry]

We don't change our ways. Your poem could come true. We need a green earth to breath. Trees and water are the lifeblood of this planet. A very sad story in your poem. Last line told the real story. The ignorant of man will be his downfall. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Dream Weaver]

A very good imagination...I wouldn't take anything away from this, it perfect the way it is....Nice job.