Deception in my Mind

A Story by

Too much thinking could be a curse

There are those people who are blessed with being single minded and there are those who are really convinced they are always right. And of course there are those who look at a situation from different angles in order to tackle it in the right way.

The question is when to stop?

Some people believe that their outlook at a situation is the right way and they go on living in peace. Those people are dammed lucky, yes they are, they are not tortured by their minds, they live in deception and in total bliss.

I, for one have a big problem with my mind, the intolerable little thing keeps ticking like a clock and it never stops, it reminds me of a timed bomb ready to explode any minute.

It is thinking, and thinking, and thinking, day and night, day and night. It never stops for a rest even when I am sleeping.

When I look at the situation, I keep on looking at it from every different angle possible, I know the mind can be deceitful. It is very easy that your thoughts could head to a direction so far fetched from the truth, the direction which automatically would would get you peace of mind.

But not for me, my mind is so apt in tormenting me.

Long time ago, one of my friends said that I think too much.

And I do, sometimes, I wish I could tear my mind away and let think on its own for a while, so that I could have some rest, so that I can have one night sleep without waking up in the middle of the night gnawing away at every single aspect, action, incident and conversation in my life.

I keep asking myself whether I was right or wrong, I keep thinking whether I truly understood the people’s reactions or did I deceive myself in thinking I understood.

I keep on thinking who are the trusted, who are those that are saying the truth and who are those who are hiding behind their own screens.

Am I right or am I wrong?

Are the words said meant or are there other meanings hidden beneath the surface?

I feel that my mind is like a demon tormenting me for as long as I can remember, and will continue to have me at his mercy, tormenting me for the rest of my life.

The question is will I be able to tolerate much longer, or will I slowly go insane?

I wish that life was much simpler . . . . or that my mind was much simpler.