It's the end of the century, and I'm alone.

An artist with a distaste for his fellow artists, a lonely man sits around at a party and hopes to God that the world ends in 20000 so that he can get some entertainment. Warning: A lot of cursing.

The cat's face is covered in blood and I've been cursing for thirty minutes. As distressing as this sounds, it's a regular thing for me. I've been carving since I learned I could use my hands for something other than shoveling mud into my face. And though it's just something I do, it seems like a big deal to other people. See, those stuck-up artsy types f****n' love me. So much so that they invited me to their ritzy new years party, located in the ball room of the Douchebag hotel, located and Stuck-up-your-own-a*s street. I huddled into the corner with a bunch of strangers. So far I've gotten stoned out of my mind, started carving a hunk of soap from the bathroom into a cat, and managed to slice off a portion of my thumb while I was at it.

Verdict; Don't carve while you're stoned.

"Hey, man," That was Vicky, the blonde with a rack the size of two Mt.Everest's, but the self-respect of a dead mouse. "It stopped bleeding, like, forever ago. What's your deal? You've bitched non-stop for 'bout ever." What a b***h. I hate her. And I narrow my eyes and bite my lip to show her so. Or to show her I just farted. Facial expressions have never been my strong point.

"Yeah, well, try it. Cut your thumb. See how it feels." I try to sound bitter, but all I get is a drunken-out-of-her-mind laugh from the girl, and few from the people around me. They're all higher than me, ten times as rich, and will be getting laid tonight. I hate them, too. But I hate a lot of things and focusing on them all is tiring, so I just down another shot of tequila and wait for all the computers in the world to blow up or something. Whatever is going to happen in the 20000s. I'm taking it in stride, hoping for a disaster, something to make me forget all my stupid little problems.

But I guess I'll just have to have patience. My head hurts from the obnoxious laughing and crappy jokes my 'friends' are spewing out. Seriously, listening to these people is like watching them throw up. You close your eyes, plug your ears, and pray to God they won't get any on you.

It's just as I'm imagining the guy across from me with a fountain of vomit coming from his face that I notice two people approaching our group. A lady, tall with long hair, and a man with tanned skin and the body of a dancer. The guy looks pretty casual, very chill, but the chick looks like a hybrid of a hippy and a drag queen. He face caked with make-up and her angular body shifting under baggy clothes, she could be any gender. If not for her naturally pretty face, I'd be terrified of her.

"Hey." The woman greets, her voice sweetly shy, "How's it going?" She is allowed in with a chorus of "It's the f****n' new year, b***h!". The guy with her lingers, though, and says nothing. Now that he's closer I can see he'd pretty tense, and a little pissed off.

"Oi." I flick my hand in sort-of wave. "You gonna stand there like a freak or sit down, man?"

"I'm going to ignore your skinny a*s, that's what I'm gonna do." He spits back, and I flinch away from the venom in his voice. Jesus. Ouch.

"God, man, lighten up. Aren't you scared of like, being judged or something, us being so close to the end of the world and all?" I ask, and he snorts, smirking lightly, and flops down into the chair next to me.

"End of the world? You believe that s**t?" He pulls out a cigarette and offers me one. I take it, and he lights it for me. So far he's a pretty cool guy.

"Nah. But it's more interestin' than, like, just another year."

"I heard that." He puffed, leaning back in his seat.

"Hey, you wanna know somethin'?" I ask, smirking.

"What?" He frowns, eying me warily.

"Ten." I respond, and a chorus of people are going with me.

"Huh?" He frowns and looks around, confused.

"Nine." I continue.

"Oh! F**k." He gets it now, and smiles to himself.

"Eight." We say it together.

"Seven."

"Six."

"Five."

"Four."

"Three."

"Two."

"And one." He finishes, smiling and crossing his arms, watching everyone flip out around us.

"One indeed. Nothin' happened." I point out dryly, slightly disappointed.

"I'm sure the world takes longer to end than a few seconds, man." He rolls his shoulder in a shrug.

"Not that." I sigh.

"Then what?" He's a little irritated now, and takes a drag from his cig. I follow suit before responding.

"No one interesting popped up. I'm still bored as f**k."

"God, didn't no I was suck poor company." He puffs again, and then starts laughing. Just a chuckle at first, then a full blown laugh. No one notices but me, since everyone's screaming.

"What's so funny?" I ask, curious.

"Nothing." He stops abruptly, shrugging again, "But it's interesting when I do that, right?"

At first I just stare at him a bit. Then a grin creeps out my face, and I start laughing. He laughs with me, and you know what? It's funny. Whatever it is, it's hysterical.

Happy new year. Thank God the world didn't end.

Author's Note

I wrote this in about fifteen minutes. No re-reading, no spell check, no nothing. So, yeah. Go easy on that aspect.

Reviews

[Mary Katherine]

In the first paragraph, I would introduce the sentence "I huddled..." with something like - so now I am huddled- you just need to make it clear that you are at the party and not talking about being invited to it if that makes sense...
I like how you formed all your characters by only really using dialogue...very well done!

[MJ Durston]

Well, I got to say, it was pretty fantastic. And I rarely say fantastic, it was a fun read, it went together well, I feel like I know the main character. He reminds me of me, hating everyone and everything sometimes. Overall, you did good.

Something Bad: Grammar, I noticed your Author's note, don't worry. My suggestion though, is don't fix the grammar, it adds to the effect that he's stoned out of his mind, seeing as it's from first person, him speaking nonsense just makes sense as he's not sober at all. The second character who comes in near the end was sort of 2D with potential, he could use a more "round" personality.

Something Good: You had me really thinking I was at this new years party, I wasn't reviewing someones story. I started counting down with them to new years. Plus, I've always wanted someone to touch base on the fact that everyone thought the computers were going to destroy the world in 2000.

Keep Writing,
Melissa