Violet Rose {{26.4.2009}}

a young man jumps off a bridge because he thought he was rejected.

I watch myself from above
As I stand on the edge, ready to jump
And what do I see, what do I hear?
But the one, the only one I would listen to, their voice so clear.
I close my eyes, for I know they aren't really there,
And I scream, not in pain but in freedom as I fly through the air

And as all the innocent by-standers gasp
None of them can really seem to grasp
My reason for this, my reason for leaving
Their faces seem to be completely unbeliving

Shock, and fear flicker in their eyes,
And as I see myself fall, ever faster through the skies
I understand their thoughts of me,
But I also finally see everything they would see.
A happy countenance, and yet worried eyes
They thought every sigh was only in surprise
I could only feel their hopes for my joy, but now I knew their reasons
They thought I deserved more, I always wondered why, as I passed through the seasons

I saw, in my last few moments, into each of their minds, their hearts.
They were completely selfish from the start.
Selfish for my happiness, seeing it made them believe it was possible for them.
Hearing the bell like tone in my voice as I smiled and laughed made them want it for them.
Now they watched me fall.
Their tears fell, and faces struck with awe,
And as they had before, they wished again for more.
For me, and for them.
They wished for the freedom,
They wished for the courage,
And then,
They wished for my safety
So they coud at least say good bye.
And as they wished for this, I myself began to cry.
I felt the tears though they never fell,
For now my fears have sent me straight to Hell.

And as I felt my body go through the deep,
Wondering forever more why she wasnt mine to keep
I knew I would never get the chance to say good-bye.
And at that I would forever cry.
Though no tears would ever escape,
Only build and build until they destroyed my hate,
And the roads are filled with rage.

And I watched as they pulled my lifeless body from the waters to the shore
Wishing for one more chance in the end to be with her forever more
And I watched from above
As everyone cried with love
At my funeral, everyone dressed in black
And I always will wish that I could only get back

I watched from a few yards away
The only time they would burry me, it was a sorrow filled day.
As mothers and lovers threw roses on my coffin I glanced up,
She came to the side, and all the words just sprang up.
From her heart through her mouth she said the words that would have saved me
And she still saved me in the end...because she forgave me.

She realized why I did it, though no one else ever would,
And she wished she had said it soon enough though she knew she never could.
She layed down that Violet Rose on my final resting place
And the tears I never wanted to cause ran right down her face

Now a few years since then, I still watch a few feet away from my freind,
As she sits and she cries once every day,
Wishing she just hadnt been to afraid to say it.

I try to comfort her

But she doesnt realize I'm still here
I try to hold her
But I can't, and I never will I fear.

The rose is still above my body
Her first tears I saw too.
I wish I hadn't jumped that one day
And I wished that she knew.
So I'll sit and I'll watch, crying dry lifeless tears
As I wish that I could have just shoved away all my fears.