Lovers Tree

Lovers Tree

A Story by
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Whistling softly to herself her hand traces the rough carving in the tree. Years before, two lovers had met here and carved their love into the trunk of the tree. Closing her eyes she breathed deeply, tasting the warm air, her feet cushioned by the lush green grass. The warm wind played her long dark hair. Behind her, she could hear someone approach. Strong arms wrapped around her, their fingers laced together. Smiling she let herself melt into him as he pressed his lips to her ear. Together they carved their love into the old tree's thick trunk.

© 2011


Author's Note

Was uploading via iPhone so I apologize for any terrible grammatical errors.

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Reviews

Very simple yet descriptive. It's like an equivalent to a Haiku when it comes to poetry because it illuminates the scenery more than what is really happening. But I guess that's what you really want it to be. And yes, I spotted few errors with tenses.

You used present tense on your first sentense (Whistling softly to herself her hand "traces" the rough carving in the tree.) then followed by a past event (Years before, two lovers had met here and carved their love into the trunk of the tree.) and followed by a present event so I guess you need to write the next event in a present form like cushioned to cushions. Just a few fix ato make it one of the bests.

Keep writing!


Posted 12 Years Ago


12 Years Ago

Thank you for the review, I will have to fix it up so that the tenses are right. I get mixed up with.. read more
Androglossia

12 Years Ago

You're very welcome angel!

A beautiful paragraph with a sweet story.

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on December 9, 2011
Last Updated on December 9, 2011

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