Evening Walks

Favorite girl magnet poem.

To which would the starsdirect its shine???

Upon the darkest night???

Upon which infinite stars try to catch attention,

To attract...

Flirting with someone,

Something,

down below in the finite grounds of earth,

Worthy of their attention,

Until which time do stars shine???

In the day do they still seek that they crave???

Insane as they are,

Hoping one day to be together,

For their jealousy is distance,

Could we have realized that dear someone,

Is all along with us,

Ever so near,

And only to find out, when that someone is around,

The stars shine brightest,

Author's Note

I wrote this spontaneously while chatting with a beautiful girl. Problem was she was too busy to go back to MSN to see what I just wrote in a couple of minutes.

Nonetheless, she is married now, and happy.
And a lot of my female friends love this poem.

Truth be told, I no longer have a muse, which would explain the shift in my writing (to short stories)

Reviews

[None]

I guess this is the concept behind how Supernovae are formed! One star gets next to another and ---WOW! A beautiful explosion takes place. Your poem attracted me and I can see why it's a girl magnet. Your poem is gorgeous!
We definately get energy from positive people and can transform that energy into beautiful words.
Sometimes we have to invent our incentive in our mind--and possibly watch them come to life.
I love how the stars are flirting in your excellent poem! I'm saving this to favorites right now!

[Hedra Helix]

I go with Angelo on this, theres a frenetic urgency to it. You meant it when you wrote it I can tell. its charged. the layout as well as the wording. I like that a lot, like a capture of a fluttering panicked bird in your hand. you swift thing you. ;)

only thing id change is this:

Ever so near,

And only to find out,( space or remove is entirely, your style to me seems more to leave the is, thats your voice I think, mine would be to remove it. ) Is when that someone is around,

The stars shine brightest,

[Joy C]

Well..., maybe I am still too young, I cannot really understand the concept of this poem. However, it is really touching in a way. I feel that your words are curdling its readers. I like it. By the way, thanks for the review.

[Ralphy]

Your Evening walk shed new light on a romantic scene. You still have the muse; it's still there just disguised. Most of your work that I've read deals with the heavens which seem to be your passion. Although you no longer have the option of this girl you show that your heart radiates reflecting into your soul.

[Mr. Lopez]

Yes , the power of words . I too liked how the stars flirt just for flirts sake. There are lots of stars that shine for you yet and they are always shining somewhere on this earth. Fear not. Very nice piece.

[aponijose]

The concept is pretty good. The calmness of your use of the language compliments the maturity riding the piece.

On a separate point however, I'm currently debating with myself on whether you should edit this or keep it as it is. On one hand, the glitches speak of the urgency and stays true to the moment. On the other, I know a lot readers who might underestimate this piece just because of a few informalities.

Well, I'm sure you can make the right decision.

This piece is good by the way.

Good luck with it.

[April Child]

Yes you poets sure know how to woo a girl, brings tears to your eyes and warm feelings to your insides and makes us powerless to resist. Next time you find someone who makes your star shine brighter make sure she reads your words and I am sure she will melt. Then write some kick a*s love poems for us all to read :)

[J. James Reider]

ah, a good talent to have is girl magnet ability through poetry.... it seems to have passed me by while I wallow in the dark stuff... this work has a good flow to it and I think it is well crafted for being written in a couple minutes.... well done!