Whisper...

A romantic poem set to play two voices. This was my experiment on a dual voiced poem.

Tranquil sands lay infinite,
With only the lights of heaven
Illuminating the dark,
Winds send chilling sensations
To parts bare from wool,
As the feet feels cooler still
From sands of stories past...
chants of the priests passes by
a faint lullaby to the lonely...
Upon which the road traveled back,
By travelers of barter,
Memories of home
narrated as it is being longed...
Distant memories of a site pacific
Lay but an anklet of a longed lover,
As it was looked upon
Barely glimmering,
Touched by hands warm
And shivering,
hold tight upon my arms
for the night is cold...
The distance is long
My dear,
Yet you are with me
Always...
The secret always kept by the sands,
Silent and sealed is its promise
In silence lies mystery
sweet mystery lies intention
dear intention has desire
and desire leads pleasure...
Stories seem the lovers clandestine,
The game is of seduction
pleasure derived from desire
as desire is followed
yet far away
the longing and age
gives far more pleasure still...
The wisdom of lovers kept
By lovers dearest,
Upon which while distancing away,
From the anklet past,
Their stories fade away
Along with the wind,
The music of traders play
along the bonfire
their source of warmth
and dancers with anklets dance
With the young prince audience
and a maiden dancer
Sharing a stare longing
kept with their secret smile...

Author's Note

I wrote this when I was in college a few years back. It was more of a sensory poem, this was where I honed my skills on painting with words.

Reviews

[Hedra Helix]

I think I can actually tell where the voices trade and its odd you can do that the way I percieve you did, its like the emotional essence of the poets was the shift rather than the tone, or mindframe, or spacing it so it was obvious..neat;)
now you have to tell me, where do you live? or more importantly, where did you grow up? Your writing has this far away feel, its strong and sure of itself and rather rich, but theres also a slight tilt to how you phrase that is exotic (sorry to use that word, but it is) and catches me off guard and I almost stumble on it but I dont,
hah, youre going to say Idaho, I know it!

this is what I mean though:

To parts bare from wool,
As the feet feels cooler still

[Bhavya Kaushik]

It somehow reminded me of my first poetry :D
lolz..
As its like quite and damn emotional.
But, considering the fact that I found the overall spontaneity not that much appealing,So....you may work upon it!
But,inspite of that its a great read!

[N3v3r_2_L@t3]

I loved it. The only advice I can give to you, is to put your poems in stanzas. Not many people like to read one long thing like that. Seperation catches attention. Other than that, you did a great job=]