Whisper...

A romantic poem set to play two voices. This was my experiment on a dual voiced poem.

Tranquil sands lay infinite,
With only the lights of heaven
Illuminating the dark,
Winds send chilling sensations
To parts bare from wool,
As the feet feels cooler still
From sands of stories past...
chants of the priests passes by
a faint lullaby to the lonely...
Upon which the road traveled back,
By travelers of barter,
Memories of home
narrated as it is being longed...
Distant memories of a site pacific
Lay but an anklet of a longed lover,
As it was looked upon
Barely glimmering,
Touched by hands warm
And shivering,
hold tight upon my arms
for the night is cold...
The distance is long
My dear,
Yet you are with me
Always...
The secret always kept by the sands,
Silent and sealed is its promise
In silence lies mystery
sweet mystery lies intention
dear intention has desire
and desire leads pleasure...
Stories seem the lovers clandestine,
The game is of seduction
pleasure derived from desire
as desire is followed
yet far away
the longing and age
gives far more pleasure still...
The wisdom of lovers kept
By lovers dearest,
Upon which while distancing away,
From the anklet past,
Their stories fade away
Along with the wind,
The music of traders play
along the bonfire
their source of warmth
and dancers with anklets dance
With the young prince audience
and a maiden dancer
Sharing a stare longing
kept with their secret smile...

Author's Note

I wrote this when I was in college a few years back. It was more of a sensory poem, this was where I honed my skills on painting with words.

Reviews

[Hedra Helix]

I think I can actually tell where the voices trade and its odd you can do that the way I percieve you did, its like the emotional essence of the poets was the shift rather than the tone, or mindframe, or spacing it so it was obvious..neat;)
now you have to tell me, where do you live? or more importantly, where did you grow up? Your writing has this far away feel, its strong and sure of itself and rather rich, but theres also a slight tilt to how you phrase that is exotic (sorry to use that word, but it is) and catches me off guard and I almost stumble on it but I dont,
hah, youre going to say Idaho, I know it!

this is what I mean though:

To parts bare from wool,
As the feet feels cooler still

[Pj]

I just want to read more and more of your work! It's fantastic, beautiful, exciting and everything else wonderful :D
You really did paint with words...and the picture was worth the wait hehe

[James K. Blaylock]

This has such a wonderful feel to it, and it'd be awesome to hear it read aloud. Great job!

jkb

[Michael X]

hash, bro, you really need to write more poetry, is absolutely excellent worl, i rerally enjoyed every beat of flow and the way you choose words, the imagery is very passionate and colorful, you have agreat free form style, capturing romance, this is splendid, and a pleasure to read, i remember you telling me you
had a poem called whispered, i am glad to see you post it, a definite timeless poem. bravo!

[Nithin.R.S]

Nice link up of thoughts..

in silence lies mystery
sweet mystery lies intention
dear intention has desire
and desire leads pleasure...
Stories seem the lovers clandestine,
The game is of seduction
pleasure derived from desire
as desire is followed
yet far away
the longing and age
gives far more pleasure still...

this stanza looked scintillating with the flow...started slowly evoking a curiosity about something..so beautiful then some pacy lines traversing through various aspects and finished with a musical touch ..good one.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

I've never really been much for love poetry, but Haresh, this was very beautiful. I loved it. Beautifully penned, you are a great writer, my friend.

Rayne

[Emily B]

Lovely, romantic write. I felt the rhythm of the slow, sensuous dance of the lovers.

[None]

This is phenomenal. I enjoyed every word. I love the word clandestine and was so happy to find it here....
"Stories seem the lovers clandestine,
The game is of seduction
pleasure derived from desire
as desire is followed
yet far away"
...I really love your last eight lines...the picture they create and the story yet to be told. Fantastically written!

[gaurishankar]

Dear friend Haresh, the picture you painted with words make the reader think a lot.Memory is the mystery that brings to mind ,the past ,whether be pleasing or hurting." In silence lies mystery
sweet mystery lies intention
dear intention has desire
and desire leads pleasure"Memory is always silent and is a mystery, out of which there is a sweet desire yielding pleasure. Wish you progress in your journey towards building the palace of poetry of your own where all poets stay a while and delighted.May I have your Emailaddress?

[robin]

Yes the pieces are there as you say in a sensorium, formative way. It's nice to see aspects of an artist's brewing. It flows/dances in places like sand dunes. Pretty and from experience? It has hints of personal discovery...