Depression.

This is my opinion on depression.

If I ever got asked what makes me curious, I’d lie and say science. I have a different answer, I call it death. The thought of dying has always peaked my curiosity. Why? Because when you have the perspective that nothing life has given you is good it’s the only thing you can think of. My life has been one bad experience after another. Right now, I’m battling away tears and the urge to drag that razor down my arms so I can forget everything. There are cruel people in this world who make you regret your existence. You have to build up barriers from these people and bottle up these emotions. Every once and a while you forget to build up another wall, something happens and you slip. You slip down into this deep hole. So far down that it takes a while to get out, that you can’t handle yourself or anyone around you. You push everyone away and even yourself, you begin to wonder who you are and why your here. Then you remember everything that has gone wrong and that is all you can think of, somehow you make it your fault. This is where it gets scary for the people around you. You develop a way of making you feel better for example, anorexia, bulimia, self harm, over eating. You get a momentary relief but when you get to the next day you hate yourself even more. You look away from your mirror and start breaking down because you hate yourself. This continues and you don’t tell anyone, they know something is wrong but they don’t ask why, because it isn’t too bad. Then you’re at home one night, you’ve gone days without sleeping and you’re crying and you can’t think straight. You take out the rope, razor or gun, you write a note saying goodbye and you’re gone. What you don’t know is that one of your family members find you, they scream and cry and why wouldn’t they? Someone they cared about is gone. A week later they have a funeral, your friends are getting counciling, but it isn’t helping. They start self-harming too, they cared, they loved you like a relative. You create this chain of what you went through and your friend you knew had depression has also killed themselves. You’ve created an unintentional spiral. That’s what depression is, and unintentional spiral that leads to your downfall, unless you get help.