At school.

I hate people
They tell me not to do what I wan when it comes to something dad like suicide and when it comes to something good like following my dreams. But what I my dreams are suicide. What if I have no hope for the future and want to sit depressed all day long. What I I want to cut vertically down my arms until I bleed out in the bathtub and I'm left for someone to find. Why is that so bad?
Why do I have to be the one to carry all this weight on my shoulders? Why can't I just fall? Fall forever with no one. People annoy me. Annoy me so much that I don't want I be around them. What am I gonna do when I move to Adelaide??? There are so many people there.

Reviews

[Ashton_Albright]

Their words do carry weight and I can't tell you it will get better, because that depends on you. I have been there. I have filled the tub half with water. I have put the knife to my wrist and pressed until it was just this side of cutting. I have been there more times then I can count, on that edge of life and death, but I always stopped and thought. I can't tell you what I thought but it gave me hope for a better day tomorrow. It gave me courage to stand up the next day and listen to the same things. It gave me myself to stand beside, myself to hold me up and provide a shoulder. Along the way there were hands that picked me up but without myself to give me courage I never would have made it. What ever thought it was (my mother finding me laying in a pool of blood) that gave me (my grandmother weeping and with drawling away from the world) courage and (my grandfather's anger to hide his sadness) hope but whatever it was (the things I would miss all those experiences) kept me going (and once the voices started to quiet and I could really live) through the worst of their torments. I survived it. I survived it and so can you. My inbox is always open and if you choose to talk to me.

[Ashton_Albright]

Someone shared this poem with me, they said it fit with what I wrote in the review, I agreed after listening to it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3NHrDu-O4s

[Taylor A]

It speaks volumes to your character that what stopped you from suicide was the thought of those that love you. I however, don't think that's the best way to prevent these thoughts. I think its better to live for yourself. Which, at its heart, sounds selfish, but those who are ready to kill themselves.. Its hard to think of the people in your life when you have built up walls around you. Its hard to think about your friends when they wont listen. Its hard to think of your mom when you're 500 miles away. I know its hard, maybe impossible for some, to make it on our own...But I think its our responsibility, ours alone, that when we are surrounded by the walls we and those we love have built... To grab that one brick, just that one damned brick, and pull as hard as we can. Once we see the light shrine through the gap, then we can get to living for others...But when we are alone...We must find our strength inside.

With that ,theres two excellent videos I suggest both of you watch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITFwyW4XsUY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltun92DfnPY