You Beat Me

“Let’s play a game,” you said
“What game?” I asked
“Whoever cries first, loses”
“No,” I shook my head
“Come on, one last dance”
I smiled and gave in
You took my hand, and led me to the dance floor
Reluctantly, I followed
Suddenly, we were swinging from side to side
Swinging to the tune of hearts beats
Our blood rushing and  pulse racing
“There’s no music,” I said
You chuckled, pulling me closer as if we weren’t close enough
“Music is you and me ,” you said
I searched your eyes and saw myself in yours " watching you
You stroked my cheek as we stood still
“I love you,” you said
“I love you more”
“Enough to let me go?” you asked
“Why should I let you go?”
“Your world and mine are different now " Let me go,”
Right then,clouds formed in my eyes
As you faded, I came back to my world
“It was a dream,” I murmured. “Or was it?” I sobbed
You beat me

Reviews

[Lover Of Words]

This is great

[J. Write]

Thank you :)

[Lover Of Words]

My pleasure

[Tex]

Very impressive write.

Love the way you use 2 voices in this, very unusual, very effective.

I well written and compelling piece.

Thank you for this.

[AleyshaRosa]

I love how this is almost prose, but because of your distribution (?) Loss of words. Of the verses, it felt as soft, as fantastical as a poem. Do my ramblings make any sense?
I hope they do, and I hope this review makes any sense whatsoever.
In other words,
I love it. It's beautiful, captivating, and sullen.

Koodoos

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Ohmygosh, this is so beautiful. I really enjoyed reading this. It's different and well thought out. I love the idea of the game in the poem as it plays throughout the piece. The dialogue between the two characters made this more interesting! It made me cry actually. And the imagery was amazing and so visual. I really do like the last line.
I'm definitely adding this to my library. :) Nice job!
"It was a dream," I murmured. "Or was it?" I sobbed
You beat me

[Valentine]

What a surprise ending..very well written..I hope he finds someone new,,God bless..Valentine

[SnuggleBunnyQueen]

This actually had brought tears to my eyes. They were tears of happiness until "right then, clouds formed in my eyes..." Then the tears in mine became sad.

This is well written and I have once again enjoyed something that has had emotional impact that you have written.

This piece has beauty in pain written all over it.

[C.C. Marx]

wow so emotional and powerful wonderfully written :)

[frivolous treasures]

Very emotional and marvelously written! I love the use of diction and the conversation between the two in your verse. Powerful, sweet, and emotional... very good!!

[Zoelouise]

I love the use of conversation in this...a good read

[luviva]

wow/... just great!!!!! a great poem en the emotions are too high

[J. Write]

Thank you for reading.