Rap Jack

In response to a challenge to write something 'Rap" I wrote this adaptation of 'Jack & the Bean Stalk. It's fun, adventurous & somewhat comical...hope you enjoy.

The story goes way back about a dude named Jack,

He was chilin in his shack, with his momma for a fact,

Now they were kinda poor, and their beds were on a the floor,

But Jack he always wanted more, and he deplored his décor.

 

So his momma said “Jack, take the cow out back,

Into town to the track, but don’t sell it for no crack,

And bring the money back, don’t loose it to no hack.

‘Cause we need to buy food; Do you understand me dude?”

Jack didn’t want to be rude, and he didn’t want to feud,

Said “Momma please Don’t brood, I’ll get money for some food”.

 

So Jack took the cow, into town to a frau,

But the frau said not now, I don’t need a freaking cow,

So he heads down the road, back to his own abode,

And meets a man with a load, who told him of an ode,

He said trade your cow to me, for what I will give to thee,

You’ll be rich and never need, with this sack of magic seed,

 

You just plant ‘em in the ground, heap a circle all around,

Add some water to the mound, then in riches you’ll abound,

So Jack gave the man the cow, and to Jack the man did bow,

He had a sack of seeds to plow, yes he’d really done it now.

 

So he headed for the crib, he’d have to hear his Momma’s lip,

Yeah he knew that she would rip ‘em, he might end up in a crypt.

But she just sent him off to bed, without even being fed,

Not a tiny piece of bred and nothing else was said.

 

So when the moon was full and bright, Jack just had to make it right,

He slipped out into the night, He wouldn’t quit without a fight,

He dug a circle in the ground, and placed the seeds all around,

Covered ‘em up with a mound, and he poured some water down.

 

Then he slipped back to his bed, and on his pillow laid his head,

I hope I haven’t been misled, was all the prayer that he said,

And his stomach prayed for bread, but he drifted off instead.

 

Now the sun shone through, Jack’s window with a view,

Some humongous thing that grew, where he had planted seeds anew,

He raced out to see this sight, which had grown up in the night,

It had reached an unknown height, through the clouds and out of sight.

 

Jack called “Momma come and see, you have to see this to believe”,

She said “What a mighty tree, but this truly cannot be,

“It’s a Kemp Stalk not a tree”, Jack said “it grew with magic seeds,

And I must climb up through the clouds, to solve this mystery that enshrouds.

The man said riches would abound, I must go up and bring them down.”

So Jack ascended up the stalk, there was no time for idle talk,

And though he heard his mother squawk, he climbed on and would not balk.

He knew this stalk would take him high; as he looked down, then to the sky,

The stalk was sticky bye and bye that helped Jack not to fall and die.

 

Up past the clouds he saw new land, and to a castle Jack now ran,

Would the castle be a hassle or would it be his pension plan,

His legs just kept churning, and his lungs now were burning,

Yet his heart was still yearning, as his mind was discerning

But Jack would not be rattled, and he would win in any battle;

For a measure of a treasure in his hand.

 

Once Jack got inside, the big castle house,

It made him feel real a small, just like a castle mouse,

He stared up at this giant, sitting at his table there,

As the giant was finishing up, an avocado pear.

Jack then shimmied up a drape cord to get a better look.

He was looking for a treasure or a clue that he could hook.

 

Jack then spied a golden goose, and golden eggs the goose produced,

That is when Jack’ mind deduced, a plan that left him no excuse,

He’d steal the goose, run foot loose, induce the juice and avoid the noose.

 

So he slid down the drape cord, until he hit the hard wood floor,

With his will now enabled, he raced up under the table,

Then he busted a few moves, towards the giant’s big shoes.

Cross lacing of the shoes was the plan that Jack did choose,

As the man with the plan, he did the deed and then he ran,

To the other end of the table, Jack ran fast as he was able.

 

He yanked the cloth and found it stable, so then he climbed up to the top of the table.

Just as the giant had finished his pear, he yelled out loud and sent Jack a scare..

With a “Fee and a Fi and a Fo and a Fum, and something about blood of an English man,

And be he live or be he dead, I’ll grind his bones to make my bread.”*

This threw some jitters into Jack, and that my brother is matter of fact!

 

But he stuck to his plan, and he called out the man,

He said “Hey Mr. Giant, here I am!  I’m going to run so catch me if you can.

And the giant jumped up from his place, and just as he planned to start the chase,

He took one step and fell flat on his face, ‘cause he didn’t know Jack had crossed his laces.

 

Jack took his cue, across the table he flew,

He snatched up the goose, and his feet let loose,

He jumped down to the floor, and he flew out the door,

He was in a full run, but he wasn’t having fun.

Jack could feel the ground shake and he knew it wasn’t fake.

If the giant could overtake, he would pound him into cake.

 

Jack made it to the stalk, but he had no time to gawk,

But as he started climbing down, the stalk was dry and turning brown,

He thought this was profound, but he kept on climbing down,

Now he could almost see the ground, when he felt the stalk take a pound,

He looked up at the sound, and saw the giant was now inbound,

 

Jack started moving faster, to avoid a sure disaster

He saw his mother on the ground; then he did shout a message down,

He yelled “Momma get the axe, and please start taking whacks”,

But his momma then yelled back, “Jack have you forgot the facts?

Remember we had to sell the axe, so we could just pay the tax!”

 

Then Jack became inspired and said “Momma start a fire”.

Set a flame to the stalk, please run and do not walk,

Cause that giant is closing fast, and he will end my life at last.

 

She set the Kemp stalk aflame, and trusted Jack was on his game,

And as he jumped to the ground, he took the goose and set it down,

He took his coat to fanned the flames, and up the stalk the fire made gaines.

The giant was still climbing down, two hundred feet above the ground,

The Kemp stalk crackled from the fire, it popped and snapped as flames climbed higher.

The giant realized that he was doomed, he’d have to jump or be consumed,

But his choice then disappeared in the blink of an eye,

As the stalk up in flames it fell right out of the sky.

 

The giant landed in the river with very much commotion,

Which made him bloated as he floated way out into the ocean.

And as the Kemp stalk burned the village had a strange aroma,

But seemed to help some folks that suffered with glaucoma.

 

So Jack and his momma were set for life, moved in a mansion with no more strife,

The goose kept laying those eggs of gold, and Jack’s fame spread as his story was told.

He bought a thousand cows and he bought a thousand sows,

Yet he always stayed humble and wouldn’t take no bows.

He helped to feed the poor, and so much more,

And lived happily ever after full of life and full of laughter.

 

So don’t give up and keep believing and if your dreams should get off track,

Just come back and read this story, yes even you can Rap Jack!

 

Adaptation of the original...

 

*From  “Jack & the Bean Stalk” By: There is no definite proof that Benjamin Tabart's version was the first in print, yet this is the version that became the standard tale. Subtle changes have been made to the original story, but the main premise is intact. Tabart went on to retell many other native British children's fables until he died in 1833. Other authors who have written versions of "Jack and the Beanstalk" are Steven Kellogg, Roald Dahl, James Still and dozens of other fairytale authors.  Joseph Jacobs rewrote it in English Fairy Tales in 1890.

Author's Note

Not perfect in semantics, punctuation etc. Just have fun with it as I did writing it.

Reviews

[KWP]

A fabulous version - certainly it would be rather entertaining to read it to children with all that rhythm and rhyme. I can just see their wide eyes look up and waiting expectantly and what happens next.

I would say this was indeed a fun write. Well done X

[KWP]

Check out the very first poem posted here called 'Red Cloud Road' - similar style you may like XX

[Wrenlane]

Very much I thank thee for the reviews on 2 of mine & for the friend request. As I stated earlier, I am new to this site and still feeling my way around as to how everything operates. Actually I am @ work now. When I joined the site, I could not get a response back to my home e-mail so I used this one but need to get that changed over at some time. I will check out 'Red Cloud Road', soon. Have a wonderful day KWP!