Camera I

Camera I

A Poem by Wrenegade

You put her in an empty room with a camera.
She removed her shoes, her skirt,
unbuttoned her jacket;
in the dim of that dirty room.

Fabric drawn back: pale flesh exposed,
Her sad, small breasts just glancing through--
She held your gaze throughout.
 

© 2008 Wrenegade


Author's Note

Wrenegade
Based on this image: http://hakanphotography.deviantart.com/art/Liberation-3-95696219

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Reviews

I'm really enjoying your poetry and that makes reviewing it anything but a chore. This poem is excellent and its tone is well done and very straight forward. And that makes it a little ambiguous which aides the poem. There is strong sexual undertones and voyeurism but that's all I really know for sure and I like that. There's spaces in this poem for my imagination to create things. Very well done. And for my nitpicks I'm kind of dragging the bottom of the barrel but the very first line threw me off because I initially thought ( probably foolishly ) that the girl was placed in the room with the camera completely by herself. And I think the last line of the first stanza is worded oddly and I almost want it to say "In that dim dirty room" but just minor complaints. Good work.

Posted 15 Years Ago


Short, but makes you wonder. This is sorta like a cliffhanger (?), you catch the reader's attention and leave them wanting more! I'd really like to see a continued piece to this...
I couldn't see the image, but who needs one when you have this language!?

Posted 15 Years Ago



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Added on December 29, 2008

Author

Wrenegade
Wrenegade

CA



About
I'm eighteen, female, nosy, sexual, snarky, shy, outgoing, bitter, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I love women - not so sure about men. I like to hang out in the romance section of bookstores and lau.. more..

Writing
Jamie Jamie

A Poem by Wrenegade