Words

something I wrote this summer. Inspired by some problems I was having. I guess they are still around. But I thought I would try to write a little

               You told me it was beautiful

And when I looked at the stars I could see

The reflection in your eyes

And the love I couldn’t reach.

 

I told you I was foolish

 A blush staining my complexion

I said it because it was true

And I wanted to see you smile

 

I told you all my thoughts

My frail heart beating so fast.

You said it was alright

And the pain would never last.

 

You told me of the world

And places you wanted to see

And for once in my life

I wanted to see It too

 

I told you about my dreams

And said how I felt

Your eyes scared me

And I didn’t know how to fix it.

 

I told you about my life

Expecting scorn and scoff

Though your voice was still your own

I felt no comfort there.

 

You told me about your fears

I had never felt so alone

For once in my life

I don’t want to face the truth

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think :)

Reviews

[Kayla]

I really do like this poem, I think you have some great images. I especially like stanzas 2 and 6-they have fresh words and images. The only thing I would have to critique is that the flow is off, and that may be because you rhyme in some places, and not in others. If you were thinking about rewriting it, I would either rhyme it all, or not rhyme any of it. Other than that....kudos!

[Melina A. Cambree]

I love this!
My favorite stanza is the last one :]

[StoryTailor]

Incredible. It really is. More then I would ever be capable of creating, not even in my dreams could I achieve this. It was beautiful, the imagery was incredible, the emotion was breathtaking, and the words in themselves could take down a thousand armies. A beautiful work.

[Star Shyne]

Fantastic & Wonderful. Great read & write. very deep and awesome =)

[Hi]

This poem is great and better than i can write!