Night shift

Short story I made while having problems sleeping. Hope you like, critique is very welcome.

Hello Mr Tumberland is there anything you need? Perhaps a glass of water?  No, nothing I just want to sleep; Mr Tumberland answers with a coarse but firm voice. The nurse next to his bed makes a feeble attempt at readjusting his pillows but notices in his lack of participation that it might just be wasted effort.  I hope everything is as well it can be because if it’s not I want you to tell me immediately she says and looks at the old man. I am perfectly ready to just lay here and die thank you very much the man barks back while he tries to turn his back towards the nurse. His will is strong but his body is not, and he struggles despite his effort to look indifferent to his rotation.

 But Mr Tumberland, cancer is not a death sentence, it may feel like it is at the moment but there is always hope. It costs nothing to be an optimist when you have never faced tragedy the man’s back replied followed by a cough.  Sir, please you know nothing about that the Nurse said and made sure his blanket at the end of the bed was not tucked in to tightly and would prevent him from retrieving it if cold during the night. Yeah well you know nothing about my life and all the s**t in it so just leave me be! The man yelled now turned with his eyes glaring through their shriveled up pockets of skin divided by his rigid nose.  He looked tired and worn just like an old painting which had been bleached by sun and time. The only part of him which really looked like it still had some life left was his hazel colored eyes staring right at her.

Despite her orders the nurse put down a filled glass of water on his night side table. The water had spilled over and left a little suction ring around the circular bottom almost grabbing the glass to the wooden surface. Mr Tumberland she said and paused I know more than you will ever be willing to give me credit for about what you have done in your life. The man’s eyes swiveled slightly and he tried to swallow the dryness in his throat. You know nothing about anything! Just like any other c**t they have sent to wipe me and fed me and prolong my death! Just like some kind of medically preserved mummy my b*****d relatives will proudly display on family occasions! The nurse smiled gently and sat down on a plastic chair beside him. The rest of the hospital ward was very still and the only other noise audible was the faint sound murmuring from further down the corridor from others of the night shift.

I know that you are angry and disappointed she said calmly and stroked back a rogue curl from her jet black hair. She was beautiful but very mundane in a sense. Like some typical advertisement about cars; you had to admire the skill behind the design but had grown sick of seeing far too many of the like.  I am angry? Well congratulations Dr Freud I think you just solved all my problems now if you just kindly could piss of and leave me be I can get some sleep the old man said and snickered. You can’t sleep the Nurse said as she exhaled and laid one of her legs over the other. They sat in silence, almost as if waiting for the man’s retort. And I know why she continued after being made certain that no further witty comment would make itself noticed.

 Since you will deny a dying man a chance to regain his strength, fine please enlighten me Missy. He said. Oh but please, don’t you know that sleeping is only for the dead, even you must see the irony in not letting me speak with you just a brief moment further? She asked.  I believe you can’t sleep because you have a heart full of hate and sorrow. Your contempt in what you find life to be has grown and festered in you like the cancer we are trying to defeat at this very second with poisons created to kill of cells, good and bad ones. The rules and self enforced dogma of the path you have chosen has hollowed you out and left you rugged on the outside but empty within. What in god’s name, the old man began; only to be cut of mid sentence.

You were born at a farm the Nurse continued her grey eyes inspecting the old man as she spoke smiling softly. Anyone could have guessed that, my entire generation more or less, grew up on farms he said trying hard to be visibly unimpressed. That’s right, just like your dog Willy, that’s a pretty common name, maybe not for a dog but it’s still easily guessed don’t you think? The nurse took her painted nails and pinched a hold of her earring and gently fondled it. The old man’s eyes had a look of uncertainty in them and he stared at the young woman.  He cleared his throat yet again and after a short moment replied, what is this? Are you trying to impress me with my old dead pet’s names? You could have found that out from one of my relatives! Which relatives? The nurse asked still smiling and followed by moistening her lips while looking into the ceiling. You mean the ones that never visit you? Your sons? Would I have asked them about Willy? They are busy people! The old man exclaimed, just like me when I was young! I don’t want them hanging around here seeing me like this! Oh so it’s a conscious choice? The nurse asked. Is that what you have been convincing yourself of? The fact that they haven’t visited you in several years, just pays the check and let it be?

The old man stared at the nurse with hate in his eyes and said b***h, you know nothing you can go to hell and rot! Please sir, you interrupt me as I am just coming to my favorite part. I don’t care about what is special or favorite to you he said now crimson red in his complexion. So you don’t want to talk about Ann? The old man froze and just sat there in his bed half raised and stared at the nurse. His expression was difficult to read but was in the borderland between pure shock, fear and interest. How can you possibly know about her? He asked. Well it’s not really about how I know more of how you could. Because you loved her, completely. But she was not your wife. You spent your life with a different woman. One who made much more sense to be with. But not to you, but to the sense of everyone else the nurse continued. It was expected, a man of your stature?

The old man started breathing almost like if he was cold. He was pretty sure it had got a lot cooler in the room since the nurse came here or maybe he was simply imagining it. No he wasn’t he could feel it. He reached for the blanket at the feet of his bed but a sharp pain from his guts stabbed him and he retreated back to his pillow. Oh dear, we can’t have you catching a chill now can we? The nurse said and pulled up the blanket over the old man’s body. Despite the added blanket he still felt cold. Let see you got married. You got married when you were 30, but you wanted to get married once earlier if I’m not mistaken? She asked and gave a questioning glance at the old man in the bed shaking. But why didn’t you take Ann as your wife? The mans chapped and dry lips where getting even more so by the cold in the room and only his head was still emerging from under the fabric.

I don’t know how you know about her but you are a sadist and a w***e! He hissed and coughed propelling a marble of saliva from his mouth onto his quilt. Well then I guess me and Ann had that in common? Wouldn’t you agree? Shut up! The man roared, but the effort recoiled back at him and he started coughing again. He could see his breath in the air now. Thick steam from his mouth blended with the pristine cold air in the hospital room and his saliva had begun to stick his dried pieces of skin from his lips together as the moisture froze. The nurse removed the hairclip which was restraining the black bun of hair on the back of her head and she lightly shook it as if trying to extend her hair to its full glory.

 But am I not also just like Ann? A tease? Just nibbling on the edge yet never committing? All these signals she sent you and then tormented you with silence for months at end. Is that not sadism? He couldn’t stop his tears they came and they demanded freedom to pass as they wished. The old man’s face was strained as if recently whipped by the cold and the warmth from his tears offered little comfort as they stalled in the middle of their passage down the ripples of flesh in his cheeks. You found someone else after Ann the nurse continued. And you got two sons. The nurse had lit a cigarette and was smoking it slowly. The old man has never seen her light it or even have it on her. You rotten, he began but didn’t know how to continue he just wanted her to leave, to leave him alone in his bed to die.  The nurse looked at him and blew a stream of smoke in his direction. I think we both know where dear Ann is, don’t we? She asked and laughed lightly. The man could only stare with eyes wide open and feel the tears pressing their way into exposure. He couldn’t understand how she knew and why she would sit there on her plastic chair with her white nurse a*s and just fed him venom in form of her words.

 What do you want from me? Tell me what the hell you want from a dying man to sick to even scream for his life? The old man asked in a tone not higher than a whisper.  The nurse took her cigarette and tapped it lightly so that the ashes feel in first a large lump and finally in fine flakes to the sterile hospital floor. I want you to tell me what happened to the love of your life Ann she said and looked right at the old man. Where is she now? Does she have children perhaps? The man tried to pull the covers further up to his face but noticed that they were covered in frost and felt like cardboard.

 The old man wept but managed to muster a small whimper in where he said ever so faintly; she’s dead.  Really? The nurse asked and acted genuinely surprised. The old man’s eyes didn’t display much life now, not the same glow and force as before. I killed her, and you knew this already you w***e! The nurse laughed discretely and looked up from the floor which had been under the possession of her view before. Did I? She asked. Why did Ann have to die or do I already know that as well? She didn’t love me; she used me and then left me. The old man said with his teeth tightly clenched together. Oh I see, the nurse replied.  You don’t seem like the type of man you just “use” and then leave bare? You have more pride than that, am I not right?

She just left me like I was s**t and went on to the next, but I loved her all the same. I understand the nurse said. I couldn’t stand the thought of another man with her, inside her. It disgusted me without perhaps have even occurred. Well she did leave you the nurse said who yet again sat with a lit cigarette in between her slim fingers. The man was at loss of what was happening he noticed that he felt very conscious of what the nurse thought of him and also respected her in a way he couldn’t understand. He revered her but also despised her.

But what about your wife, I mean the wife you did take? You never loved her, yet you wasted her youth and made her bleed in birthing your two children? She was happy but only because she thought that you were too. What was she, just something to show to business partners, to friends? “Look I have found a partner and we have successfully reproduced”? Seems like an awful amount of misery just in order to follow the stream doesn’t it? You don’t understand the old man said and tried to avoid her smoke as it crept towards him like a snake while trying to wipe his tears away even though they were still being born anew.

The nurse didn’t smile anymore and simply said well  you are right, I don’t understand  because you are here whimpering about some leg spreading s**t you killed yet fail to see that you wasted another woman’s life in the course of maintaining your social ego intact.

 Go to hell the man whispered followed by coughing. I gave her a home and food on the table, and she was grateful for it! Would she not have been more so by being true to her? You see I have no problem with simply doing something because of lust or because of greed or hate, but to drag others down in your own cowardice and then claim it was what they wanted? Don’t you realize that all you did by taking a wife just for the sake of it is reducing her to an item needed only to fulfill rules set by others who in turn follow further rules set by others. It goes around in circles and I find it to be truly repulsive. I find you truly repulsive sir. Her lips remained in a stiff line and her eyes pierced him with a frozen stare. It felt like they were darker than before, looking almost black and seemed to have aged somehow away from the more youthful gray blue they once were.

The old man tried to cover his ears with the pillow and turned slowly his back yet again to the nurse. Just leave me here he begged sniveling his tears mixing itself with the mucus from his noose. The light which used to reside in his eyes was gone. It was as if something had come and grasped it in its cold hands. Who could believe I knew so much about you as I did the nurse said and stood up while adjusting her skirt. And still you know nothing about me; it is almost as if we have never met. Try to sleep Mr Tumberland she said, perhaps we will meet again someday, or maybe you will hear of me, I have many names.

Reviews

[Clematis33]

Loved it!

[patricia]

great story...interesting twists and turns, dabbed with lots of wisdom. descriptions were very realistic. flowed well. seemed like a modern take of the 'scrooge' story. loved it. thanks.