Last Words

This is about realizing that the people with the power to hurt you most are the people you love the most.

I could hear each thud of my heart

Loud and clear, banging in my ears

I couldn't close my eyes for fear of being ripped apart

I couldn't open them either, for then I faced my fear

What it was, I didn't know

But what it wanted, was me dead

It seemed that my blood ceased to flow

And the world spun around my head

This was the end, I knew.

So I did the only thing I thought to do.

With eyes shut,

I murmured "I love you".

Author's Note

I would love some constructive criticism and feedback, please!. Thanks for reading.

Reviews

[Nightfeather]

The strength of one's heart and mind is tested when confronted by the abstract concept 'dead'. We humans love to invent concepts when we cannot explain the unknown. This poem of yours is very powerful but it is not clear by who you refer to when you say this: "This is about realizing that the people with the power to hurt you most are the people you love the most". It is not clear in your poem if this sentence refers to family, friends or people whom you have no connection with. There are a couple of grammatical mistakes: "About looking fear dead in the eye" should be: 'About looking fear right in the eye' and I recommend to shorten your description down to one or two sentence(s) with a powerful summary of the core (message) of your poem. So the reader is more interested he/she looks at your poem's description but I can see that you have talent. For the general message and emotions were clear for me.

Good job :D

[Ro Hakam]

Thank you so much for taking the time to review, I really am in dire need of feedback. You made my day, really. I just made an account, and didn't think I'd get any reviews so soon. Thanks again!

[Nightfeather]

No problem. I am glad I could help ;)