meeting you

love and loss

That day in the basement of your dad's work you ran from me but I had never seen more of you. You spoke to me as there was no walls and I saw you for the woman I know I love. you hid in the girl's change room knowing I wouldn't dare set foot in there I sat out there what seemed a life time I could see you and we were alone you just sat on the couch in there and for the first time you spoke to me not just empty words you could say to anyone but words that mattered. You spoke of your dad's death, your childhood things I could relate too and for the first time I didn't see just the shell of a person I saw the raw emotions of you and that hour we shared made me feel as though I had gotten to know you for a lifetime and in that lifetime of moments I knew that my love for you was real. You came out of the room after you noticed your vulnerability and the chase began we ran in circles but I felt more alive running in those circles than I had ever, I caught you pressed you against the concrete blocks of that cold basement I looked in your eyes and I saw where I wanted my future to be... where I wanted the rest of my life to be. My Heart racing with no sign of slowing down lost in your eyes, you slip away from me. that was the moment... that was our moment that started the rest of our life together I knew whatever came I could over come it with you. 4years, 3months and 10 days later we have been in a relationship 3years, 8 months and 21days later, Engaged 8 days and you say we should be just friends for now. My heart has been racing so often for the past 4 years and the only thing that could slow it down is you but you are the also the one who could make my chest burst any second. Without you my heart hasn't slowed down for a single second since you've left me I've gotten used to the pain at least when you're talking to me I can deal with it. I went to the doctor for a overall health check up before I go to camp Sunday and she took my blood pressure and she said I had the blood pressure of 400 pound 40 year old man but my overall health was incredible otherwise. I know why my heart isn't okay right now and I'm not mad because of this but I know I need you and I believe in us not because I'm young and dumb but because our moment and that every moment we shared together was as incredible as that first moment when I fell in love with you.