Prologue

The prologue for my book "The World She Saw".

Prologue

With a cry, she forced herself to open her mouth and speak. A perplexed glare was her only response to the silence that she had screamed at him. She takes a breath. After a few moments, she takes yet another breath, this one much deeper. Then, her soft, beautiful voice breaks the thick air.

Three words were spoken, and three words were too many. She had said too much. Now the glare loosens, becomes warmer, and finally, reveals a wicked smile. A smile that she had grown up with. A smile that she had learned to fear.

A smile that she had loved.

Author's Note

Any tips on how to make my writing better? Please don't hold back! I learn from my mistakes! (Grammar fixes, spelling, etc. I do NOT have time to learn a different language, so do not request that I use my precious time doing that.)

Reviews

[Jack Wolfe]

Dear Kit:

What I believe you were going here is a synopsis: A paragraph or two describing the book, the characters, or the plot itself, it's meant to entice readers (it's what you'll find on the back of books in your local stores, on the inside of the dust jacket; on the other hand, A prologue, is usually an introductory chapter (depending on the format or style of novel you're writing): Some will begin in the middle of the book, others at the end, and sometimes, its an event happening to a minor character to build intrigue in the story.

As for what you have written, its not bad, you tell the reader there’s some sort of domestic disturbance going on between this couple, the issue is there's no character or event unfolding, who is she? What happened? And why should I, (the reader) care?

I would turn this into a scene . . . not only tell us what's inside your character’s head, but show us what transpired.

I hope this helps. If you have any question feel free to ask.

["Kit"]

I know, this section is actually part of the story - to be precise, it's in the middle - and I only used "he" and "she" instead of the character's names to intrigue the reader into wondering who they are and what they're doing. I was hoping it would make readers want to learn more, but.... I guess I failed that task.

[Jack Wolfe]

I wouldn't say you failed, far from it actually. You did offer questions to the reader, but I would elaborate little further, that's just my opinion.

["Kit"]

To be honest, I'm not like many authors. I actually got my experience as an author from my friend Hailey, and we created a small group of people who love to write and named it Cloud. She told me that if I am stuck on what I want to write, think of my emotions at the time, then write a short section. She told me to make it the prologue, then build onto it to form the story. So, in this case, I don't know how to elaborate further, because the story hasn't really began yet.

[Jack Wolfe]

Fair enough. It was just an opinion, feel free to write it however you see fit. Take care, and good luck in your future writing endeavors.

[eerie]

uh yea, learn latin. That improves anybodies skill

["Kit"]

How so? Also, what if I don't have time to do that? I'm only thirteen, so that intrudes my time... the time that I am already using.