Listen

Self harm isn't just a phase, sometimes it's for life.

It's not a weakness, Nor a sin
To let the blade back in again
To feel alive, to feel release
To know I'm becoming me again

I feel relaxed, I feel free
No longer overwhelmed by need
I don't hit the bottle, nor the slots
Yet this is worse than all that lot...

Apparently.

It's ugly and it's wrong
Attention seeking freak
Stop looking for redemption
In the skin that covers thee

Though you never understood
Nor ever even tried
But I'm here to tell you gently
To stop banishing my guide

It may well be an addiction
But one that hurts only me
No need for you to feel guilty
It's a sense of freedom you see

I don't look at you for protection
Nor ask you for your help
To get me back to "sanity"
For I never went to hell

I simply chose to focus
All the divided pain
Into one sweet spot of relief
So no one else gets slain

Why oh why must you judge me
For keeping it to myself
Did you really think I'd push this
On to anybody else

I've come a long ol' way
From where I once was
Not really sure I could do it
But I sure did hold it off

But relapse is just that
A momentary lapse
Of all the strength it's taken
To beat off the endless traps

Where do I stop my lesson
When will you understand
That I'm perfectly okay
Just give me a helping hand

Don't say you want to help
Don't ask me to explain
Just be there when I need you
Where silent acceptance is gained

Once you start to realize
That I'm not a mad ol' moo
You'll probably realise
I'm not that far off you

I still love to love
And hate to hate
But strong emotions
Break flood gates

I try my best, everyday
To stay afloat
This never-ending drain
But now and then
When the time is right
Even I lose sight

I will be fine
I shall pick up
And you need not worry
There're more pages in my book.