Irony of Wonderland

We're all mad here

  The unknown lies through the rabbit hole

       My body deeply drowns without self-control

           Hallways darken with unbreakable suspension

              Keys swallow into a leafy dimension

 

                Time is eaten with the Mad Hatter

                   Tea cups crawling in a loud clatter

                      A cat appears in every direction

                         His evil color evaporating with perfection

 

                            Anger escapes out of the Queen’s breath

                               Pushing hopeless servants through death

                                  My mind is ready to defend

     To Battle the Irony of Wonderland

Author's Note

Thanks for the positive reviews, I extremely appreciate it :D
And for the negative reviewers, always remember this: "Critics are like eunuchs in a harem: they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves." - Brendan Francis Behan
I'll continue to write even when you bring me down!!

Reviews

[Max]

Despite it being called Wonderland, it's quite a twisted world. You know, Lewis Carroll originally wrote the novel in reaction to the idea of imaginary numbers. Wonderland is essentially what he thought the world would be like if you could take the square root of -1.

I quite like the content of this poem, but i'd again suggest tightening up the meter. It really seems like you're trying to go for that traditional structure so present in gothic poetry rather than free verse, so maybe looking over the lines and trying to create a rhythmic pattern of some sort might help to tighten it up and improve the flow. It really does make all the difference in the world, and it's quite a fun challenge sometimes!

[brenda]

this a whole different point of view i love this you get the insight of another perspective in everything !! awesome!

[London]

this is awesome! well penned my friend

[E.V. Black]

Pretty cool and creative. I do think you could have done more with it. I think you could have expanded this to include more detail. That would be REALLY interesting to see. :3

[CharlesMonroe]

OMG!!! :D this is my all time favorite movie and I love your poem. It's just amazing :D

[Helpless]

i like this a lot, its a whole brand new take on a classic story! and summed up very nicely i might add. amazing work!

[RedInk524]

Reminds me of the horrid descending spiral of insanity....

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A very "Alice in Wonderland" feel to the narrative of the prose, well done, good read.

[Ruth]

Brilliant work love....this is unique and all consuming! Depth is abound here! Surreal, love it!
xx