Love On Thin Ice

My heart is a morbid universe which is obscured in his eyes...

Your red roses obscures in the cold

His touch of purity is growing old

Your cliché delusion deceives my brain

The lie on his lips drives me insane

 

Your body reflects in black and white

His arms are stranded in a height

Words of love turn into stone

His universal smile is forever blown

 

His heart is as empty as a page

Feet sliding on frozen rage

A broken cloud singing our blues

Your eyes are closed; neglecting the clues

Author's Note

Thanks for the positive reviews, I extremely appreciate it :D
And for the negative reviewers, always remember this: "Critics are like eunuchs in a harem: they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves." - Brendan Francis Behan
I'll continue to write even when you bring me down!!

Reviews

[torments_scribe]

very impressive! I love your rhyme scheme and you employ it extremely well. (I'm not very partial to free verse) It's amazing sometimes how it can fell like those that are supposed to be closest to have no idea how you feel or what you're going through. Even when you're screaming at the top of your lungs they don't even have the decency to pay attention. Great work, can't wait to read more :)

[Helpless]

i love the last stanza, it makes it so clear for us to imagine the characters in the story. :)

[Kenneth The Poet]

This is good. Really strikes the heart for the clueless guy, and I was one of those once. Of course, men may not mature with age either.

[FocusedAmnesia]

"The lie on his lips drives me insane". I absolutely love this line. This flowed wonderfully, great read.