The Beginning

A Chapter by Wookieman

This is the first chapter to the book ENIPSIS. Background on the character of the world, and the character up to the point the story takes place.

CHAPTER 1: THE BEGINNING

Manx, a mega continent that spans most of the planet Humera. From the snowy mountain ranges of the north, the Alteria region, and the tropical rain forests of the Le'Ural region. The imperial regions are always at war for territory and resources leaving the lands filled with blood and despair. The northern region, Alteria is controlled by the kingdom of Delvior, the Le'Ural region controlled by the two neighboring kingdoms of Trendor, and the kingdom of Gren. The eastern region is controlled by the neutral kingdom of Selvin, the western region belongs to the kingdom Interol. These kingdoms at war for over a century killing many generations of warriors and innocents while bringing new ones who are worse and more heartless than the last.

This tale begins in a small village on the outskirts of Interol's territory. A lively village filled with heart warming people who aren't rich enough to live in the kingdom's capital, Jutera. The village people is filled with people with green eyes, light brown skin tones that range from as light as caramel to as dark color of milk chocolate and have silky black hair. There is one person, a teenage girl who is able to be pointed out easily among the the others in the village. She has the skin tone of caramel but unlike the others with strait black hair, she has hair the color of roses and her hair is puffy as a throne bush and curl outwards at the end. She has big green eyes with a couple of freckles that rest right on top of her cheeks. She has firm body but not firm enough to be mistaken for masculine. This girl's name is Enipsis isn't pure blood Interian her father a traveler from Delvor of the north had passed down the gene of his uncontrollably red hair down to her.

Enipsis was trained in combat by her dad from the years when he was around and she grew a lust for battle. Battling the boys of the village from when she was a child to this current day. She wasn't the strongest, but either way she wasn't the weakest. She never backed down from a fight no matter what and she put in one hell of a fight every time she lost. She enjoyed the thrill of battle, the danger, the idea that she could be hurt wasn't enough to scare her away from this she wanted blood in every battle, either hers or theirs it didn't matter to her. This bloodlust of hers was seen by many of the villagers and gave her the name, Red Witch. As she grew older the boys in the village either left her alone and avoided her or attacked her in groups, beating her. Many people in the village avoided her and her mother worried for her well being. At the age of 12 her father became very ill from a disease called Wicker. This disease was incurable and its symptoms are very harsh causing the victims to cough blood constantly, make it hard to breathe, and make their skin rot while they were alive. A couple of days after finding out he illness he called to Enipsis. He told her about the path she was on, the path of war, destruction, and blood lust and how it will one day consume her and destroy her and everything she loved if she continued down it. She tried to change her ways, but it only proved futile. Her mind always steered towards blood and battle.

Several years passed as she tried to change her path, trying to avoid this path her father warned her about her mother died. She was 19 years old at this point and she fell into a deep depression which didn't her her on her goal to avoiding fights. They just became worse and worse. One time it even lead to her almost killing a man. She could stop herself from hitting him, she lost herself and as she tried to place her mind back in control the sight of blood that ran down from the mans face and the shock of pains travelling up her arms after every blow to the man only fuel her body. It just drove her to continue on. The only thing that stopped her was when villagers pried her body of the mans battered bodies. This was when he mind got back in control and when this happened she realized she was smiling, a wicked smile with her face covered in the other mans blood and her blood. Her body filled with joy and and adrenaline aching to hurt something, someone, anything. After that day her named changed from the Red Witch to the Blood Witch. She was banished from the village and was told to never return.

Enipsis traveled the war torn regions of Humera learning many skills from swordsmen, many different styles which helped her forged her own unique fighting style. She then stopped at the kingdom of Delvior of the mountainous Aleria region. This placed was filled with white skinned people with rosy cheeks who she had only seen a couple of times in her travels across the continent. Delvior was the only place however she seen such an abundance of them and not only that others with red hair like hers, and her fathers. She however was the only one which a different skin tone and the red hair color she had seen. Many people seeing her stared at her as if she was a zoo animal, a creature out of stories, all amazed at a person with darker skin tone and red hair. She made her way to the barracks and asked to be a soldier. The officer in charge and the soldiers around laughed not because of her unique features, but because of a woman trying to join the ranks. Enipsis not knowing the Delvior was a male dominated society full of sexism was confused. He shrugged her off as if it was a bad joke and he told her to lay in bed and have children like any good women would. She grabbed his arm and twisted it and placed her forearm over his elbow. With force she pushed down her forearm braking the officers arm in seconds. The soldiers around all stopped laughing instantly and grabbed their spears in shock. The officer dropped to the ground yelling in pain. The soldiers pointed their spears at her. At this she placed her hand on her sword hilt on her waist what was concealed by the tattered cloak she wore.

Instantly and huge man with a scruffy beard pushed through the door.. He had battle scars on his face and had brown curly hair. He said, "Whats going on in here?" in a loud raspy voice. He looked around to see 6 soldiers with spears pointed at a woman, with the officer on floor yelling in pain. He looks the officer in the eyes and said, "Get up off the floor your a staining the name of the Delvorian Army. He motioned the soldiers to stand at ease and looked at Enipsis who had turned around in a defensive stance looking at him. He said to her, "Why are you here breaking my officers arms, girl." She looked at him with a smirk and said, "I want to join the army and this man, if you would call him that decided to disrespect me so I humiliated him back." The man laughed and said, "My name is Herald Gantz, I like the spunk in you girl. How old are you anyway?" She looked at him lowered her guard a little after feeling the tension in the air leave and replied, "I'm Enipsis Hawthorne from a villiage on the outskirts of the Interian territory i have traveled across the continent to join the Delvorian Army after being exiled from my villiage. I am 23 years old and I am combat trained sir." Gantz looked at her and said, "I didn't ask for your background but good to know and you are old enough so ill let you join the ranks of the Delvorian Army, however you will not be treated differently or special understood?" Enipsis nodded and saluted.

next chapter

© 2013 Wookieman

Author's Note

Ignore grammar corrections and tell me what you think about this story. I'm new to writing and i will take constructive criticism into account to improve myself. So what do you like and not like?

My Review

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Reviews

Arutha

first off, just from reading your intro I can see that you have a very in-depth world going here. You've obviously put a lot of thought into its construction, which is hugely important. So, I would say you've got the most challenging and most important piece on lock - great start, already! (Also, you've got some really cool names.) Just FYI, Aleria is very close to Alera which is the central nation to Jim Butcher's saga, "The Codex Alera," a VERY popular fantasy series.

I like Enipsis. After reading your character synopsis in the FF forums, I wasn't sure what to expect. I think it's a really cool idea, and very fresh. It's nice to see people who are able to take an out-of-the-box idea and apply it to a workable idea for a story.

I will say, your telling of this story feels more like someone is recounting it to me, and less like I'm living it. I don't ever get into the characters' minds, which is what any reader needs to truly get lost in a story. I think you have a great outline for a story here, but I would challenge you to tell it from the perspective of the characters that are living it, fill it in with a lot more detail, and generally allow the reader to live Enipsis' life right alongside her.