All Eyez On Me

Tip toe about, blend or go unseen.
Royal fail, stick out awkwardly.
Politeness disengaged, eye contact minimal to none.
Anxiety socially, my apologies, not as visible as lepracy.

Invisible, intangiable, it's wickedness udefined,
stronger the mind, the tighter the spring you wind.
So much buried deep beneath the lid.
From thye self secrets are also hid.

No warnings and for no reason at all
In the blink of an eye set off course.
A moments pass, an exaggerated stall
shame, guilt, hate and victims remorse.

The wardrobe of a clown
Trunks filled with smiles and magic tricks.
so much hidden from the eye
but the monsters still come for their fix.

A cloud of negativity brings the storm
levy breaks through where the board rots.
Doubts breed them selves an army
un-connect the dots.

There goes self belief
Confidence falls at every point of attack.
Too much all at once, overload.
Trains of thought, too many tracks.

Valentine's logo racing fast, cue the sweat
cues the twitcheyness.
Tagging along bring the guilt, bring the blame
Now comes the dreaded emptiness

Not today, gotta go, sorry bye.
Real sorry...
So sorry..yeah.

I don't want to be, don't want to feel lonely
yet drawn to the comfort of being lone.
I value, I value, I want these friendships
so hard to keep when juggled between the need of time alone.

Jesus, not today.
Guilt....Blame...Shame..
Curse my name...yeah.

How do I, how do I, help them see?
How do I, how do I, make a better me?
How do I, how do I...All eyez on me...